Author Topic: When people mock your laugh...  (Read 7023 times)

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LifeOnPluto

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #30 on: July 31, 2013, 07:06:20 AM »
Another option would be to simply look at them and say "Wow." (As in, "Wow. How rude you are"). Then keep looking at them in silence and watch them flounder.

Psychopoesie

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #31 on: July 31, 2013, 10:05:09 PM »
Mocking someone's laugh is more than rude, it's mean. They're bullies in my book.

If they are people you'll never see again, it is probably better to just ignore it (while being thankful they aren't in your life for more than a moment). Save the energy for more important battles.

If they are people you have to interact with on a regular basis, I'd be inclined to make sure they know the behaviour is not ok.

From personal experience, ignoring bullies isn't helpful - even without a reaction, they seem to keep going). Plus it always left me feeling powerless as well as hurt. YMMV

Whatever you say (and there have been some good suggestions) say it calmly and look them straight in the eyes. Sometimes it helps me to think about what I'd say or do on a friend's behalf if I witnessed the same mean behaviour directed at them. Even if it doesn't work out as well as I'd like, I always feel better for having said something (anything) to stand up for myself.

Btw I'm not a loud laugher but I do have my own uncontrollable snortle when I get going.

Please laugh loud, proud and often.  :)

Mental Magpie

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #32 on: August 01, 2013, 07:52:44 AM »
Thank you, everyone.  If this happens again will be sure to remember the advice I got here.


Psychopoesie, I like your advice of how I would react if this was happening to a friend, because I know I would say something.  I hope that gives me enough to stand up for myself.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Mommyoops

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #33 on: August 01, 2013, 08:35:55 PM »
Your laugh would probably make me bust out into unconrollable laughter of my own (not mocking but real brought to tears laughter). I love people with unusual laughs, they make me happy  ;D Keep laughing and ignore the boors.

Mental Magpie

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #34 on: August 01, 2013, 09:12:15 PM »
Your laugh would probably make me bust out into unconrollable laughter of my own (not mocking but real brought to tears laughter). I love people with unusual laughs, they make me happy  ;D Keep laughing and ignore the boors.

The next time I cackle, I'll think of you ;)
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #35 on: August 01, 2013, 09:17:35 PM »
I personally LOVE a cackley laugh.  :)  I even have a witch's cackle for a text alert on my phone.  My bff cackles when she laughs and it's so infectious that I can't help but laugh as well. 

Sometimes she'll start to tell me something and just start laughing cause it's so funny, and even though I haven't heard a bit of the story yet, I'll laugh too just cause her laugh is that contagious.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Mental Magpie

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #36 on: August 01, 2013, 09:23:37 PM »
I personally LOVE a cackley laugh.  :)  I even have a witch's cackle for a text alert on my phone.  My bff cackles when she laughs and it's so infectious that I can't help but laugh as well. 

Sometimes she'll start to tell me something and just start laughing cause it's so funny, and even though I haven't heard a bit of the story yet, I'll laugh too just cause her laugh is that contagious.

I hope I can meet you one day, just so you can hear my laugh and take joy from it, if nothing else.  Sometimes I cackle so hard I make no sound at all.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #37 on: August 01, 2013, 09:29:57 PM »
Oh me too! :) I'd love to get to meet you too, and I do that as well, laugh so hard that the only way you can tell I'm laughing is the expression and shaking shoulders.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

delabela

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #38 on: August 02, 2013, 12:23:47 AM »
I am usually a soft laugher, but I love a big laugh. I work with a woman who laughs big, and she's a hoot. Uh, no pun intended.

I can't even think how to deal with it because it's so juvenile - I'd almost be embarrassed for them.

The TARDIS

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #39 on: August 03, 2013, 07:53:34 PM »
Oh honey, I make goose honking noises when I laugh hard.

Perhaps the people mocking it are jealous for not having a laugh as awesome as yours!

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gramma dishes

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #40 on: August 03, 2013, 08:52:17 PM »
I walked off to col my temper, when I got back, I was told how "rude and unprofessional"  I had been. 

  My classmates we all either teachers or museum educators.

Wait!  Who said that to you?  The 'worst offender' who insulted you, or the other teachers and museum educators?

I would really hate to think that educators would stick up for someone who made fun of someone else.  Would they do the same thing to a child or other student?   :-\

suzieQ

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #41 on: August 03, 2013, 10:09:00 PM »
Oh honey, I make goose honking noises when I laugh hard.

Perhaps the people mocking it are jealous for not having a laugh as awesome as yours!

LOL! When I really get going, I sometimes snort like a pig!

TootsNYC

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #42 on: August 03, 2013, 10:39:54 PM »
Mock them mocking you - all in a good fun way, of course. Nothing rude.

That is probably the most powerful way to handle it--it redefines the whole exchange.

And I'm w/ this:
So many nice things--I'm just going to add a little in the middle. But I'm behind Psychopoesie 100%.


 
Mocking someone's laugh is more than rude, it's mean. They're bullies in my book.

If they are people you'll never see again, it is probably better to just ignore it (while being thankful they aren't in your life for more than a moment). Save the energy for more important battles.

If they are people you have to interact with on a regular basis, I'd be inclined to make sure they know the behaviour is not ok.

And the way I'd do it is to approach them at the first possible private moment after the mocking, even if you have to search them out. And then say, very levelly, "You were mocking the way I laugh, and I don't appreciate it. It hurts my feelings, and it's really mean. Don't do it again." And spin around and stalk away. Do not allow any other interaction. It's not a conversation--it's a decree. You are telling them the way it will be, and you do not care one WHIT what they might ever have to say to them.
   Also, don't worry about it being private--it's OK if everyone else in the room overhears you. The only reason you are waiting to say this is that you want it to be "not in the middle of that activity."  The idea is to let them know that you are carrying a grudge, that you remember specifically what they did, even if "the moment has passed." And you want to be in control of the moment.
    Walking away without listening to anything they might say (walk FAR away--leave the building, go to the far end of the office, go to the bathroom) is very important to this. It's part of "having control of the moment." You are choosing when it starts; you are choosing what is said; you are choosing when it ends. Their only function is to be ears.
    Be pissed off. Be really righteously angry. Controlled angry--angry like "I'm the boss here" angry. Authoritatively angry. Stern. Channel your inner grade-school teacher.

Quote
From personal experience, ignoring bullies isn't helpful - even without a reaction, they seem to keep going). Plus it always left me feeling powerless as well as hurt. YMMV

Whatever you say (and there have been some good suggestions) say it calmly and look them straight in the eyes. Sometimes it helps me to think about what I'd say or do on a friend's behalf if I witnessed the same mean behaviour directed at them. Even if it doesn't work out as well as I'd like, I always feel better for having said something (anything) to stand up for myself.



JonGirl

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #43 on: August 04, 2013, 01:45:07 AM »
Oh honey, I make goose honking noises when I laugh hard.

Perhaps the people mocking it are jealous for not having a laugh as awesome as yours!


I've been told I have one of the greatest laughs in the world, so I gotta agree with this...
Stewart/Colbert '16

Iris

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #44 on: August 04, 2013, 03:09:30 AM »
*Sigh* I try to stay polite, I really do. I've never admitted this before, but semi regularly on here I really *want* to post "Smack them upside the head, obviously they deserve it". I really, really don't mean that, I've never struck another person and have no intention of starting now, but honestly it seems that some people are just colossal, giant JERKS who weren't taught the basics of playing nicely waaaaaaay back in kindergarten. These are the people who do get under my skin sometimes because honestly, who would do that? How can you reach adulthood without knowing that openly and publicly mocking the way someone sounds is cruel, makes you look like a massive donkey's behind to everyone in earshot, and is just flat out not acceptable?

I like Toots' suggestion (as usual  :)) and would also say that personally I would tend to stop laughing immediately, fix them with a clear, emotionless stare, say "Don't do that", and then go back to my previous conversation as if there were no interruption and without giving them a chance to reply for the same reasons Toots suggests. 

On another note - I have a high pitched voice and sometimes someone will do the same thing to me. In my experience it has always been someone who is playing some kind of dominance game, at least in their own eyes. I find an immediate, short, public, emotionless response works for me - the words I use don't matter, I find, it's all in the manner. However, If your people are merely clueless then perhaps a later talk would be kinder.
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