General Etiquette > general

Admitting the need for a nap

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I wonder - when someone asks to visit, is it rude to put a time limitation on (ie, you need to be out of my house at x o'clock) because you need, as an adult, to have a nap?

I babysit several days a month.  I also have a toddler of my own. 

I try to make the days full and active, and so by the time post-lunch nap rolls around, I find I need to rest.  Even if I don't sleep (which I find I usually do), I do need to sit down and read or do something to just relax.  Being an introvert, having company between the hours of noon and 2pm does not work for me.  Ever.  Any day of the week.  This is true whether I have just my own or both kids, but most especially true when I have both kids.

My mother decided she wanted to visit for a cup of tea after lunch yesterday.  This was nice for her.  It was awful for me.  The visit was okay, but I was tired!  LK woke up shortly after my mother arrived, meaning she only slept for 20 minutes (in other words, didn't really nap).  She was grumpy for the rest of the day.  I was grumpy because I was tired.

Mr K scheduled a delivery for today and the delivery was set for between 11am-2pm.  AUUGH!  I wanted to strangle him so badly! Once again, I didn't get to sit my butt down for as much as 30 minutes with a book and a cup of coffee.  :(

A friend who lives out of town sent me a message saying that she's in town on Friday and could she visit.  I said yes and asked her what time she'd be in, thinking late afternoon.  Turns out she's taking the whole day off work, so late morning to early afternoon.
But I haven't seen her since Christmas and I do want to see her, but that is my ME TIME! 

I need my me time.  Really need it.  I am an introvert and without that quiet me time mid-day, I find my stress levels go up and I am much less patient with the kids.  I need it even more on Friday to recharge after caring for two active toddlers all day and then having a house full of company in the evening.

So how do I say this?

I can't use "I'm not well" all the time, and "I need a nap" comes across as a bit childish... or is it just my own insecurities thinking that?

It sounds like you're saying yes to things when you want to say no. Why not tell (for example) your friend, "I'm free anytime after 2!" You can even tell people that's your downtime if you need to. These are your mom, husband, and friend. You can tell them this stuff.

What Yvaine said. Also, perhaps instead of saying "I need a nap", if you really feel you need an excuse, maybe you could say "Oh! That's when I put Little Knit down for her nap! I actually use that time to recharge my own batteries and relax! Perhaps you could come over at [Whatever time works for your schedule]?"

This is much me. 

I also need me time as well.  Not the same time every day, but I need some time every day that is just for me.  My solution is to tell people when I am available and don't leave it to them to decide for me. So for example if I get a request to have lunch or meet up for dinner, or whatever.  I will respond with my availability and go from there.

So you could have told mom, that anytime after 2pm would be fine to drop by or between 2 and 4.  When you friend texted you, you could have replied that you were available after 2pm, etc, etc.

Not having your Me time is going to leave you stressed, tired and cranky.  That's no fun for you or for your family.  You need this time to be your best self possible.  Remember that every time you feel guilty

I'd say "Nap time is 11 to 2 and I've got a light sleeper, but anytime after that works." Nobody needs to know it's your nap.


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