Thanks for all the replies. I have decided that if a friend of hers decides to throw a shower for her, I will go. I think it might be a different group of friends too, with no relatives. Her first shower was mostly relatives and close friends. I imagine it would probably be low key also. A few friends sitting around and nibbling on snacks.
She has decided to reuse many of the big items, like the swing, bassinet, etc. as they are brown with pink butterflies, and really, how long do they use these items. The baby boy won't know the difference.
I had mentioned a meet the baby party, but due to him being due during flu season, she doesn't want to do that, and I don't blame her.
So, we'll see how it goes. I have been shopping though, and found the cutest onesie, "Worlds Best Little Brother"! I am really excited as I had 2 daughters, and 1 sister, so this is the first boy on my side in a long time!