It's not "just plants." It doesn't matter whether they were plants or something else. They threw away *your stuff* while doing something you never asked them to do in the first place. If SIL had gone through DH's dresser and thrown away his favorite T-shirts because they looked worn-out (in her opinion), would he say something to her?
This is exactly what I was thinking. The argument "they're just plants" is specious. Yes, to him
they are "just plants". To SIL
they are "just plants". To you, they are much more than that.
Everyone owns things that they value greatly that someone else sees little or no value in. Everyone. Including DH & SIL. It's oh-so-easy for someone to say "it's just xyz" about someone else's
stuff. Try applying it to most of the stuff you own and you'll see that when it's yours, it's not "just".
The most freeing moment for me was when I decided to no longer care what my MIL thought of me
Same here. Actually, I never reached this point with my first MIL. But the second time I was getting married, I swore I'd never again worry one whit about what my ILs thought of me. And what a difference that made to my own peace of mind!
I am who I am. Lots of people like me just the way I am
. If my ILs (or anyone else for that matter) doesn't like me, that's their perogative of course, but I'm not going to move one millimeter away from who I am in order to try to please them.
You go girl!