General Etiquette > general

Is borrowing a bathing suit too "intimate"?

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Hi, all:

DD14 has recently made a new friend, and I've met Friend's mother, who seems a nice person.  We spent most of yesterday together, and then we all (me, DD, Friend, and Mom) came back to my apartment complex to swim (we had permission re guests). 

Mom couldn't find her bathing suit, and so asked to borrow mine, being that we're around the same size.  Of course, when on the spot, I couldn't think of any good way to say "That feels ooky".

1) Is this fairly normal, or am I being too precious about it?  To me (and maybe only me), a bathing suit is more intimate than a sweater or necklace.  I'll also say I don't borrow any clothing or jewelry items because I'll inevitably make a mess or lose something.  Now I feel I can't wear my suit, which I know is ridiculous.

2)  Since I am going all-out to reduce my weight this fall/winter, would it be OK to say, "You know, that suit fit you better than it fit me (true).  I'll just give it to you if you want it".  Or would that be creepy?  I can't think of any good way of broaching that topic without implying she's fat. 

I thought there was a thread awhile ago where the OP was lending out her spare suit to a friend when they swam together, but I don't remember the consensus.


ETA:  The suit in question is also a spare.

I would have to be pretty desperate for a swim to borrow someone's bathing suit. It DOES feel too "intimate" to me. (I would probably loan a friend a suit if I had a spare. Not sure what I would do about it afterward. Probably clean the *heck* out of the crotch area just to be on the safe side. It's never come up because I usually only have one suit at a time.) I think if I were you I would just keep the loaned suit as a spare for a while, and then maybe offer it to her later if the circumstances and opportunity makes it reasonable.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I would feel squicky lending out my bathing suit, or underwear. to me, its one and the same thing, and at the risk of being gross, um, certain parts of one's body touch certain parts of both of those items, and I'm only comfortable with MY parts touching them! 

I don't see anything wrong with simply giving it to her; maybe just say oh, its a spare, and I have enough, so if you'd like to keep this one, since you can't find yours, go right ahead.  I think I would have felt put on the spot as well, and "pressured" to lend one of mine out.

I'd give it to her - I'm funny about that (won't share undies or bras, either - just too intimate!). I know I've done it before - 'loaned' something like that and just given it to the person that borrowed it.

rose red:
I've loaned and barrowed suits before, but only to those I'm close to.  I figured with all the swimming pool chemicals and additional washing afterwards, I fine.  I may also be influenced by high school where we were forced to wear school-issued suits (returned at the end of each class, so who knows how many girls has worn that day's suit this week alone?), so I don't think anything of sharing.

But I understand those who feel it's gross and I don't think anyone has to share if they don't want to.


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