Author Topic: Screeching Kids Waking DS  (Read 5146 times)

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Hollanda

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Screeching Kids Waking DS
« on: August 02, 2013, 03:54:00 AM »
Ok this one is short. Next door to us one side is childminder and her family.  No problems there, they're all lovely.  Theoother side is a different matter.  The kids (5 and about 2 if that helps) never seem to sleep at night.  Unfortunately their bedroom is right next to DS' s room and their screeching, playing and laughing either keeps DS awake if his window is open or wakes him late at night.  The window has been open the last few nights during the heatwave.  The only thing I can do is shut the window and then DS wakes up hot.

Last night was just the end for us. DS hasn't been too well recently,  just a summer cold,  but it's meant him waking with croup cough at all hours.  Last night was the first time he was actually well enough to sleep, and sleep he did, even with the window open. However.  We went to bed at 11pm. All seemed quiet.  Then at 12.30 I was woken by what sounded like elephant jumping off beds. Rhythmic loud bangs. Screeches of laughter followed and then yells (not adults,  still kids). I thought one of the kids had fallen out of bed at first but this went on for about 20 minutes and got louder.  This woke DS and it took me 20 minutes to get him to sleep again.

Finally they went quiet.  This is not a first. They're like this all summer. Last year didnt bother DS but now it does.  Is there anything we can politely say? The family are not British and it could be a culture thing. I don't want to offend or upsey anyone but really. ..after midnight every night for the past few weeks is a bit much. Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks!
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Expatgal

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2013, 05:18:36 AM »
We live in quite a loud neighbourhood and DS's window opens up onto the street. It has been super hot so we have bought a fan and placed it in front of his crib.. That way we can keep the window closed and he has the white noise and stays cool from the fan... Maybe that would help? (I feel for you!)

Margo

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #2 on: August 02, 2013, 06:39:02 AM »
I have great sympathy for you as I also suffer from noisy neighbours.

I don't think it is rude or inappropriate to go round (at a time when they are not being noisy and you are not at the end of your tether) and speak to the family.

You can ask whether they could try to keep the noise down after (say) 10 p.m. If you phrase it as "I'm sure you weren't aware how much noise can be heard in our house" so you are letting them know that you assume they don't know that you can hear.

It may be that they genuinely don't realise that you can hear them (I had a neighbour who was very mortified when she realised that her teenaged daughter's constant loud  music was disturbing me -  it was much louder in my living room than it was in my neighbour's own living room - as soon as she knew, she made sure that the noise was kept down, it had simply never occurred to her that it could be heard in my house!

If the neighbour is not receptive to a polite request, don't take it further with them.

I would also second the suggestion of white noise - I have found that using a white noise generator (I found a free app for my phone which generates white, pink or brown noise) does reduce the disturbance from my noisy neighbours, and in this recent very hot weather I have several nights ended up sleeping with the window closed and a fan on, as several of the neighbours sit out very late on the pavements and it is too noisy for me to sleep with the window open. (I do feel that they are very inconsiderate, but in my particular case I know that there is no way they will change their ways, and this at least means I can get some sleep!)



rain

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2013, 08:39:32 AM »
are you in an apartment? duplex?

I'd talk with them first, if things change great.  If not, you can notify the landlord and see what they suggest


I used to live in an apartment, the kids above me were horrid - I tried talking to dad but he just made excuses (he was going thru a divorce, but both kids wanted to live with dad, not mom - who was still in the huge house).  I talked to the apartment manages, they talked to him - when the problems continued/escalated, the apartment manager suggested I switch apartments... as I was the one with the issue  :o.  After that I started calling the police each time- after knocking on their door first & asking them to quiet down.  I overheard one officer yelling at them (they'd refused to open the door at first).
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TootsNYC

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2013, 08:49:42 AM »
I agree w/ Margo.

And I think the "I'm sure you don't realize" approach is the one to *mentally* get your own head around. Because (1) it's likely to be true; and (2) it will help you get the tone right.

If you can trust yourself to get the tone right, and to not let your irritation show in the least, I think you could go when the noise is happening. But you need to be pretty confident, because the tone is going to be SO important in determining whether this is *effective*.



I don't think it is rude or inappropriate to go round (at a time when they are not being noisy and you are not at the end of your tether) and speak to the family.

You can ask whether they could try to keep the noise down after (say) 10 p.m. If you phrase it as "I'm sure you weren't aware how much noise can be heard in our house" so you are letting them know that you assume they don't know that you can hear.

It may be that they genuinely don't realise that you can hear them (I had a neighbour who was very mortified when she realised that her teenaged daughter's constant loud  music was disturbing me -  it was much louder in my living room than it was in my neighbour's own living room - as soon as she knew, she made sure that the noise was kept down, it had simply never occurred to her that it could be heard in my house!

If the neighbour is not receptive to a polite request, don't take it further with them.

I would also second the suggestion of white noise - I have found that using a white noise generator (I found a free app for my phone which generates white, pink or brown noise) does reduce the disturbance from my noisy neighbours, and in this recent very hot weather I have several nights ended up sleeping with the window closed and a fan on, as several of the neighbours sit out very late on the pavements and it is too noisy for me to sleep with the window open. (I do feel that they are very inconsiderate, but in my particular case I know that there is no way they will change their ways, and this at least means I can get some sleep!)
« Last Edit: August 02, 2013, 08:51:26 AM by TootsNYC »

SPuck

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2013, 08:54:15 AM »
I agree with previous posters that you need to make your neighbors aware of the noise. If that doesn't change anything, take official routes. So if your in an apartment or condo association make yourself known to them until someone speaks up and the situation changes. If push comes to shove call your police's non-emergency number, and ask them where you can go from there.

bopper

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2013, 08:58:21 AM »
Or "How are you all doing?  Poor junior has a cold.  He is just having the hardest time sleeping....I am not sure you are aware, but I think your kids were up at 12:30 jumping on bed? His bedroom and I think your kids bedroom are near each other.  Do you think you could ask them to keep it quiet after 10:00 while we have to have the windows open?  Say, did you seem Mrs. Nosebody's roses? They are so beautiful this year."

Goosey

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #7 on: August 02, 2013, 10:50:05 AM »
The family are not British and it could be a culture thing. 
OT, but what culture do you think believes disturbing the neighbors is A-ok? I really doubt this is a culture thing.  ???

Zilla

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2013, 11:06:30 AM »
The family are not British and it could be a culture thing. 
OT, but what culture do you think believes disturbing the neighbors is A-ok? I really doubt this is a culture thing.  ???


This threw me for a loop too. lol


Back on topic, if you feel you can't approach them because of their different culture, then contact your landlord and see if they can do something about it.  If you don't have a landlord per se for whatever reason, then you might have to just go over and ask them if they can try and keep it down after X time.


If you really don't feel like you can go over then as others suggest, purchase a fan and a white noise machine. 

BarensMom

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #9 on: August 02, 2013, 11:15:39 AM »
My questions:

Can you change DS' room?
Are the people next door owners or renters?  If renters, do you know the landlord?
Is there a nightly noise restriction in your town?

Hollanda

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #10 on: August 02, 2013, 12:19:00 PM »
We live in a terraced house in the UK.  No idea if neighbours rent or bought house.

To clarify the culture thing is in relation to the time their kids go to bed.  Sorry for the confusion. When I wrote this I wss extremely tired and not with it lol!

I think we will wait and see how things are tonight. If still bad then I can maybe have a quick chat tomorrow. Something like:

"Hi, we live next door and I'm sure you don't realise but the walls are really thin in these houses. I'm sure you're not aware that we can hear everything,  especially late at night when DS is sleeping. .." and then wait for her to say something.  I'll mention the open windows situation only if needed because they're in the same situation as we are likely. All shops are out of fans since this heatwave started.  You just can't buy them anywhere.  We may be able to borrow one from my parents this weekend but not sure.  The important thing is to gently make her aware of the noise.

To be fair we didn't realise how thin the walls were when we moved in either and had to be asked nicely by neighbours to be quieter (childminder side) but this was back when DH and I would go out and come back quite drunk and loud.  This doesn't happen any more lol. So I really believe she doesn't know. 

Thanks guys!
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The TARDIS

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #11 on: August 03, 2013, 08:28:39 PM »
Is there any way you can turn on the air conditioner, or do you not have one?

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MasterofSquirrels

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #12 on: August 04, 2013, 12:13:49 AM »
We live in a terraced house in the UK.  No idea if neighbours rent or bought house.

To clarify the culture thing is in relation to the time their kids go to bed.  Sorry for the confusion. When I wrote this I wss extremely tired and not with it lol!

I think we will wait and see how things are tonight. If still bad then I can maybe have a quick chat tomorrow. Something like:

"Hi, we live next door and I'm sure you don't realise but the walls are really thin in these houses. I'm sure you're not aware that we can hear everything,  especially late at night when DS is sleeping. .." and then wait for her to say something.  I'll mention the open windows situation only if needed because they're in the same situation as we are likely. All shops are out of fans since this heatwave started.  You just can't buy them anywhere.  We may be able to borrow one from my parents this weekend but not sure.  The important thing is to gently make her aware of the noise.

To be fair we didn't realise how thin the walls were when we moved in either and had to be asked nicely by neighbours to be quieter (childminder side) but this was back when DH and I would go out and come back quite drunk and loud.  This doesn't happen any more lol. So I really believe she doesn't know. 

Thanks guys!

This is totally unnecessary. I would not include this bit. You are talking about their kids, not college kids, but, kids. I feel like you are trying to compare the two, and it is inappropriate.

Onyx_TKD

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #13 on: August 04, 2013, 12:48:48 AM »
We live in a terraced house in the UK.  No idea if neighbours rent or bought house.

To clarify the culture thing is in relation to the time their kids go to bed.  Sorry for the confusion. When I wrote this I wss extremely tired and not with it lol!

I think we will wait and see how things are tonight. If still bad then I can maybe have a quick chat tomorrow. Something like:

"Hi, we live next door and I'm sure you don't realise but the walls are really thin in these houses. I'm sure you're not aware that we can hear everything,  especially late at night when DS is sleeping. .." and then wait for her to say something.  I'll mention the open windows situation only if needed because they're in the same situation as we are likely. All shops are out of fans since this heatwave started.  You just can't buy them anywhere.  We may be able to borrow one from my parents this weekend but not sure.  The important thing is to gently make her aware of the noise.

To be fair we didn't realise how thin the walls were when we moved in either and had to be asked nicely by neighbours to be quieter (childminder side) but this was back when DH and I would go out and come back quite drunk and loud.  This doesn't happen any more lol. So I really believe she doesn't know. 

Thanks guys!

This is totally unnecessary. I would not include this bit. You are talking about their kids, not college kids, but, kids. I feel like you are trying to compare the two, and it is inappropriate.

I'm not sure what you're objecting to.  ??? Hollanda said what she was planning to say to the neighbor (marked in blue), and it has nothing to do with her and her DH being loud or drunk in the past. I believe the explanation was included for us on eHell as context for how Hollanda and her DH became aware of the thin walls, while the new neighbors may still be unaware--Hollanda and DH are no longer being loud enough to be heard through the walls, so the new neighbors would have no reason to realize how much their own noise penetrates. It's a very reasonable and charitable attitude to take towards the neighbors: assuming that they are unaware of the disturbance anyone, rather than knowingly disregarding it. It's exactly the attitude that is often advised here (and was advised by Toots earlier in this thread).

Hollanda

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #14 on: August 04, 2013, 01:08:04 PM »
Thanks Onyx that was what I meant.  We've had a good couple of nights sleep recently. ..DS has slept through. Giveb that we only object when they wake DS, I don't think we'll say anything right now as the problem appears to have resolved itself. But I know what to say if it occurs in the future.

Thanks again xxx
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