Author Topic: " I know we had plans, but I made others that don't include you."  (Read 24248 times)

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Danika

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Re: " I know we had plans, but I made others that don't include you."
« Reply #135 on: August 15, 2013, 01:39:47 AM »
*snip*

     Since then I have heard from almost every member of that social circle that they re-evaluating whether this girl is going to be welcome in their lives either...no one is thrilled at the idea that she thinks if she makes plans and cancels that the other person needs to not do/go without her. There are a few other things that she's pulled with other people that I was not aware of - so she's dug herself a  hole.

OK, I have to admit I'm curious about what else has she done. Can you say?

Curiosity burns within me also.

Me three.

It's not gossip if you change the names and post anonymously on an internet forum.  ;)

Steve

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Re: " I know we had plans, but I made others that don't include you."
« Reply #136 on: August 15, 2013, 04:15:13 AM »
You should probably not wait too long before planning the new get-together for the "non-group but specific people". This thing will be hanging over your head until then. She might even show up for that anyway, and you may need to have her removed by the cops as others suggested. It is better to do this as soon as you can, while everything is still "fresh". Otherwise you will get plenty of people that claim "water under the bridge" by the time you get around to throwing another bbq.



Venus193

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Re: " I know we had plans, but I made others that don't include you."
« Reply #137 on: August 15, 2013, 05:50:50 AM »
I agree with Steve and the others.  You need to reschedule the bbq and invite the other guests in a way this selfish, nasty woman won't find out about.  Based on her having betrayed others I doubt any of them would leak the information.

I'm also curious about what she's done to the others.  Given what you know now, you may have grounds for expelling her from the group.

Cherry91

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Re: " I know we had plans, but I made others that don't include you."
« Reply #138 on: August 15, 2013, 06:50:23 AM »
This SS takes being self absorbed to new levels. She has proved repeatedly that she has no concern for anyone but herself and that she clearly thinks the world revolves around her. To still be trying to play the "poor little me" card after showing her true colours is incredible.

This group of friends needs to drop their frenemy before she does anything else.

JeanFromBNA

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Re: " I know we had plans, but I made others that don't include you."
« Reply #139 on: August 15, 2013, 02:41:24 PM »
This is a group of friends, not a group that does a specific activity, right?

snowdragon

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Re: " I know we had plans, but I made others that don't include you."
« Reply #140 on: August 16, 2013, 06:20:31 PM »
This is a group of friends, not a group that does a specific activity, right?


  This is a group of friends, but her husband has been a part of the group, for ages, we can't expel her and still include him.  So she is benefiting from the Social Unit rule, to the detriment of the rest of us.  I am not going to be inviting her husband to anything I host any longer ( because I don't want her at my home) but others will put up with her for his sake - at least that is my understanding. 
   I will be hosting a dinner party - rather than a BBQ, so I  actually have to answer the door next week, hand written invites have already gone out. 

LeveeWoman

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Re: " I know we had plans, but I made others that don't include you."
« Reply #141 on: August 16, 2013, 06:40:17 PM »
This is a group of friends, not a group that does a specific activity, right?


  This is a group of friends, but her husband has been a part of the group, for ages, we can't expel her and still include him.  So she is benefiting from the Social Unit rule, to the detriment of the rest of us.  I am not going to be inviting her husband to anything I host any longer ( because I don't want her at my home) but others will put up with her for his sake - at least that is my understanding. 
   I will be hosting a dinner party - rather than a BBQ, so I  actually have to answer the door next week, hand written invites have already gone out.

I'll wonder if she'll try to crash it.

Danika

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Re: " I know we had plans, but I made others that don't include you."
« Reply #142 on: August 16, 2013, 06:47:36 PM »
This is a group of friends, not a group that does a specific activity, right?


  This is a group of friends, but her husband has been a part of the group, for ages, we can't expel her and still include him.  So she is benefiting from the Social Unit rule, to the detriment of the rest of us.  I am not going to be inviting her husband to anything I host any longer ( because I don't want her at my home) but others will put up with her for his sake - at least that is my understanding. 
   I will be hosting a dinner party - rather than a BBQ, so I  actually have to answer the door next week, hand written invites have already gone out.

I'm glad you're going to have another party. And that you won't invite her or her husband. At least, you should have a fun time. And it will set a precedent that neither he nor she need to be invited to activities. Perhaps, a few others will follow suit and leave them off the guest list in the future, too.

If/when someone asks at your party "Where are [insert their names]?" what will you reply? I would not beandip. I would just say "They were not invited."

LifeOnPluto

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Re: " I know we had plans, but I made others that don't include you."
« Reply #143 on: August 17, 2013, 02:13:46 AM »
It's a shame her husband has to be excluded, but on the other hand, he did choose to marry this woman and stay with her.

OP, that's great you're having another party. If the other woman finds out and actually turns up, call the police. I'm serious about this.

Steve

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Re: " I know we had plans, but I made others that don't include you."
« Reply #144 on: August 17, 2013, 04:35:02 AM »
Do not feel bad for the husband. He has played his role in this. When Snowdragon talked to him, he could have put this whole thing right. He could have paid for the tickets, he could have apologized for her behavior, he could have explained it maybe, he could have promised to talk to her, or mediate between the two. He could have worked out a solution 'behind the scenes' between his wife and his friend, as he is the link between the two.
Instead, he chose to sit firmly in his wife's camp and tell Snowdragon she could not be excluded. Well, guess again, she can.....



gramma dishes

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Re: " I know we had plans, but I made others that don't include you."
« Reply #145 on: August 17, 2013, 10:24:41 AM »
I hope your dinner party will be a great, fun success and that the others attending will realize with emphasis that it is quite possible to have a wonderful time without this particular couple being included.

Have fun and let us know how it goes. 

P.S.  I would not discuss the issue at the dinner party.  If asked, I'd just smile and say "I only have room for so many people so I had to be a little selective."  They'll all know the truth, but YOU won't have said any thing negative about the couple yourself so there's no gossip (as in "Snowdragon said ...") to be spread back to them.

Itza

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Re: " I know we had plans, but I made others that don't include you."
« Reply #146 on: August 18, 2013, 10:59:58 AM »
The husband might change his tune if it begins to affect his part in the social group. Maybe he'll end up telling her to behave herself.




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