Author Topic: Can I ask that host exclude relative?  (Read 4095 times)

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cicero

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Re: Can I ask that host exclude relative?
« Reply #15 on: August 03, 2013, 02:28:22 PM »
Ty Marbles, 

That is so much more diplomatic than any script I can think of and I will have it in front of me when I speak to grandfather.

No I can't say I trust them however the kids have asked me about the sleepover, it would be nice if it worked out. 

You want to entrust your kids to someone you don't trust to begin with, and further don't trust that he won't allow a bad influence into  his own home when your kids are present?

Just say "no" to your kids.
yes.

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snappylt

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Re: Can I ask that host exclude relative?
« Reply #16 on: August 03, 2013, 03:16:10 PM »
I am going to agree with the earlier posters who suggest that (based on what you said) your grandfather cannot be trusted to follow your rules, so you should not allow the sleepover if you want to be absolutely sure your kids don't interact with the other relative.

(I'm thinking that if grandpa already has demonstrated he will not always follow your instructions, then he is quite likely to allow contact with the other relative if he feels like it.)

One follow up question:  what is it that the other relative did that caused you to break off contact?  If it was anything at all to do with a safety matter or a child abuse matter, then please don't allow your kids to be around grandfather without you being there too.

gramma dishes

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Re: Can I ask that host exclude relative?
« Reply #17 on: August 03, 2013, 04:32:39 PM »
Grandpa has already indicated his unwillingness (or inability) to stick by his word when it pertains to your children.  He seems not to understand that this is not negotiable. 

I would not allow the sleepover. 

I would try to arrange something else that your kids could do with him, or let Grandpa maybe "sleepover" at your house!

gramma dishes

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Re: Can I ask that host exclude relative?
« Reply #18 on: August 03, 2013, 04:33:58 PM »
Just out of curiosity, does Other Relative know that s/he's not allowed to be around your kids?

workingmum

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Re: Can I ask that host exclude relative?
« Reply #19 on: August 03, 2013, 06:06:45 PM »
Having been in a very similar situation, I POD those that say tell your kids no. If you already know Grandpa does not respect boundaries, then don't put yourself in the position of being the "bad guy" when you have to enfoce those boundaries. Be prepared for the fall out, it likely wont be pretty, but just remember.. You're the mum. You get to make the rules for your kids., No-one else has to agree or even like them, but if they want unsupervised time with your kidws, they do need to respecct the rules.

Why not ask Grandpa if he would like to stay at our house for the night?
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Slartibartfast

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Re: Can I ask that host exclude relative?
« Reply #20 on: August 04, 2013, 12:58:31 AM »
Stupid question: would it be possible for Grandpa to do the sleepover at your house instead?

ETA: Oops, Workingmum beat me to it!

delabela

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Re: Can I ask that host exclude relative?
« Reply #21 on: August 04, 2013, 01:59:04 AM »
Stupid question: would it be possible for Grandpa to do the sleepover at your house instead?

ETA: Oops, Workingmum beat me to it!

This might be a really good idea - you could have him come over to do dinner and "sleepover" stuff like a movie and popcorn, and you go out with your friends until after (late) bedtime!

whiskeytangofoxtrot

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Re: Can I ask that host exclude relative?
« Reply #22 on: August 05, 2013, 01:21:38 PM »
Stupid question: would it be possible for Grandpa to do the sleepover at your house instead?

ETA: Oops, Workingmum beat me to it!

This might be a really good idea - you could have him come over to do dinner and "sleepover" stuff like a movie and popcorn, and you go out with your friends until after (late) bedtime!

This.