Author Topic: Rather Tacky Request Origin?  (Read 2746 times)

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Ginderette

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Rather Tacky Request Origin?
« on: August 05, 2013, 04:41:34 AM »
<B/G> Yes, this is a childhood friend, Francie (name changed),  who I haven't spoken to in years and awfully recently begin causal chatting again.

Last few days I've been making origami for friends (corgis and a dragon to two separate people) posting pics on FB and out of the blue, I get a message from someone not on my friendlist - Francie's mother. I opened the message and it's Francie wanting me to make her something and draw her mother something. I didn't reply to that message but instead sent her a message on her account asking why she did that. I think I did well to quell my knee-jerk irritation that was reared due to this! 

She said it was easier to do that while she was running out the door.

I countered that I thought that was tacky. I asked her to think about it. She wants me to do something for her but it's too inconvenient to log on her account to do it? Or wait until she could?

Her response was quite childish and manipulative. Since it wasn't a yes it was an automatic no to her and now she's got to go. I told her I am fully capable of using my own mouth, no need to put words in my mouth - and then it was 'gotta go bye' spiel. </BG>


Really, is that too much to ask? Thinking about the other conversations I've had with her recently, I am wondering if she's worth the bother - seems to be a lot of 'gimme of the needy' sort. *sigh*

Maybe it's my background, but jeez, you don't get on another's account to send something from you.
"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in." ~ Mark Twain

Slartibartfast

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Re: Rather Tacky Request Origin?
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2013, 04:45:23 AM »
I get that you're annoyed about the request, but surely it would have been easier (and less antagonistic) to just pretend you never saw it?  If she wants it that badly, she could ask you herself.

eee

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Re: Rather Tacky Request Origin?
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2013, 05:30:07 AM »
I think you made a pretty big deal over nothing. I don't think you have any obligation to make her anything, but I don't see what's so offensive about her sending a message from her mother's account.. I mean, what's the difference what account she sent it from?

Ginderette

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Re: Rather Tacky Request Origin?
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2013, 06:28:58 AM »
Well, maybe it's because of where I learned computer usage, the military - where you didn't leave the computer unless you logged off - is why I had irritation from that.  Part of me was wondering if I was a bit over board on that hence why I poised the question.

The other side of it is I just sent her some origami and it wasn't acknowledged at all as well as being first to start writing - her insistence. Don't ask me why she couldn't start it she was wanting to do the pen pal spiel...*shrug*

On the other hand, I may have been better off just ignoring that list like the wise Slartibartfast said - after all Fancie's mother wasn't on my friend list.

This person tends to contact me when she wants something, it's never a conversation of catching up and the perceived flippant way she'd go on another person's account to contact me with what she wants was corrosive to me, I guess.  :-\
"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in." ~ Mark Twain

CakeEater

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Re: Rather Tacky Request Origin?
« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2013, 07:05:13 AM »
I get the annoyance at being contacted only when your 'friend' wants something, but I think you were pretty rude in your reply. Using someone else's account to send you a message isn't an insult or rude, or tacky, I don't think. Especially if it was clear who the message was actually from.

menley

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Re: Rather Tacky Request Origin?
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2013, 07:36:38 AM »
Wow. If you really responded with a simple request by telling her that she was tacky and that you're capable of using your own mouth (I'm not even sure what you mean by that?)... yes, I think you overreacted.

If you're upset that she seems to talk to you only when she wants something, that's another story altogether, and you could politely ask her about that. Or, alternatively, if you don't want a better relationship with her, you could charge her for the origami. But to snap at her because she requested it from her mother's Facebook account? If it were me, I might've responded "childishly" to that as well.

Note: I would never send a message from anyone else's FB just because 1) I don't get onto other people's accounts and 2) it seems like it might cause a misunderstanding about who's actually sending the message. But I would also not care at all if someone else did send me a message from someone else's account. I might think "hmm, wonder why she's logged on as X?" in passing, but that's the extent of it.

kckgirl

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Re: Rather Tacky Request Origin?
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2013, 07:55:36 AM »
I agree that Francie shouldn't only contact you when she wants something. Good friends stay in touch as often as they can just to catch up without asking for something. With that said, I think your response was over the top. Is there one computer at her home? Could it be that her mother was logged in and actually using the computer?

Please understand that I'm not making excuses for Francie. I just think you could have handled it better.
Maryland

Ginderette

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Re: Rather Tacky Request Origin?
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2013, 08:06:59 AM »
Yes, it's safe to say I did overreact. Currently my life is stressful and having another 'want' sent my way made me a little nuts.  :-[

I messaged her an apology. 

Thank you so much for the needed outside view and opinion.  ;)
"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in." ~ Mark Twain

CakeEater

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Re: Rather Tacky Request Origin?
« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2013, 06:26:24 PM »
Good on you, OP.

Would you post some of your creations in the crafty section? I'd be interested in seeing great origami.