Author Topic: Stood Up  (Read 5725 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Raintree

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6035
Re: Stood Up
« Reply #15 on: August 18, 2013, 06:24:08 PM »
To me, "stood up" = making specific arrangements and the other person didn't show up at the agreed time and place.  No show, no call.

You never actually had a date.

I disagree. "Let's go out for drinks Thursday night" sounds pretty definite to me, even if you haven't decided what time and where. If I had said yes to meeting up for drinks on a specific night, I would not then turn around and make plans with other people, and if someone did that to me I would assume they were flaky and not all that interested in meeting.  So IMO the OP did actually have a date (or at least "plans" if a first meeting isn't called a date).

veronaz

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2225
Re: Stood Up
« Reply #16 on: August 18, 2013, 08:22:02 PM »
Excluding an emergency (death in family, serious illness/accident, etc.), when a guy alludes to getting together “soon, Thursday night, this weekend,‘ etc. and says he’ll call then doesn’t, he’s just not that interested and/or used OP as a backup (probably one of several).  In retrospect, I'm not sure the terminology/label matters that much.  The outcome is the same - he didn't come thru.

While I understand the disappointment, I got the impression OP and this guy had never even met.  The OP asked about sending him a "Thanks for wasting my time" message. I say "No", move on.
« Last Edit: August 18, 2013, 08:42:55 PM by veronaz »

Raintree

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6035
Re: Stood Up
« Reply #17 on: August 19, 2013, 05:55:57 AM »
Excluding an emergency (death in family, serious illness/accident, etc.), when a guy alludes to getting together “soon, Thursday night, this weekend,‘ etc. and says he’ll call then doesn’t, he’s just not that interested and/or used OP as a backup (probably one of several).  In retrospect, I'm not sure the terminology/label matters that much.  The outcome is the same - he didn't come thru.

While I understand the disappointment, I got the impression OP and this guy had never even met.  The OP asked about sending him a "Thanks for wasting my time" message. I say "No", move on.

I agree with this completely. It's just that I also think that agreeing to get together "Thursday" followed by a text saying, "I'll call you the day of, to work out details" constitutes and agreement to set aside the evening to get together. So the OP rightly turned down other plans, and then was stood up. I agree that she should chalk this up to plain old inconsiderate behaviour and move on, though I also wouldn't fault her for sending a brief note stating that perhaps in future, he might consider letting the person know if he needed to cancel, so that the other person can make other plans.