This is tough for me.
My DD is just barely 13. We started a FB page for her about a month ago. She had one on the sly over a year ago, but we found out about it, shut it down and locked down her Internet access for a couple of months. We've been open and honest with her about appropriate FB use and let her know that what happens online can bite you in butt at a later date in regards to stupid kid stuff that seems cool and edgey but is in reality just plain stupid. Make sense?
Anyway, we felt that she was old enough for a FB page on the condition that *I* set it up, install most of the privacy setting and I also am a "friend" and have her passwords.
I noticed her iPad wasn't in its normal spot this morning. She also didn't want to get up for swim practice, saying she hadn't slept well. I let her go back to bed then logged into her FB account from my phone. Found she had up at 2 am messaging. Both where boys. I read the conversations. One boy I know ( he is a couple years older) and it was pretty harmless teenaged flirting. I expect that.
The other I do not know, I think he lives out of state. He is at least 2 years older than DD and this punk was putting on a show about being so sad and he needed her to cheer him up. By sending racy photos of herself. He also made some comments that were way, way inappropriate. I will admit I lost it and messaged him back that if I ever found out he was making those requests of my underage daughter again I was going to nail his punk butt to the wall.
I have already in the past gone over and over what boys will do when the hormones are flowing and it is not okay to send photos like that, yada, yada, I'm a stodgy old fuddy fuddy who was never young, blah, blah, blah... So we get to have *that* talk yet again. Big sigh. She's losing Internet for a while again too , for sneaking it into her room.
Did I go too far in reading her messages? She *knows* I have access to he account that was one of the stipulations. I get the normal flirting and stuff . The asking for photos and blunt s$x talk was way too far though. I feel so overwhelmed and helpless with all this, it 's do different from passing notes in the hall. She's a good kid and and we keep a pretty close eye on her activities, we''re very open as a family, am I going wrong somehow? It just makes me so sad.