Author Topic: She is not good enough for you  (Read 7642 times)

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GSNW

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Re: She is not good enough for you
« Reply #30 on: November 04, 2013, 08:13:42 PM »
So, OP, your boyfriend's female friend said you aren't good enough for him?

And he shared this with you?

Unless he shared it with you by way of explanation, because he's angry and is going to take a break from that friendship, I don't understand what he hoped to accomplish there.  In your shoes, I would feel defensive and upset around this person in the future.  If the person was trying to give serious advice to your boyfriend, it would also be embarrassing for her knowing that the comment/discussion was repeated. 

Depending on their degree of closeness and whether or not he was asking for advice, it's hard to put her comment into a rude-or-not-rude context.

LifeOnPluto

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Re: She is not good enough for you
« Reply #31 on: November 08, 2013, 03:07:31 AM »
Or perhaps the OP asked her BF why his friend why she (the friend) didn't seem to like her, and the BF told her that the friend doesn't think she (the OP) is good enough for him? (OP, it would be good if you could elaborate on this point).

Overall, I think it's a rather poor choice of wording. As PPs have pointed out, it makes it sound like the partner isn't on the same level as the other person. And by "level" I mean level of attractiveness, or popularity or education or wealth, etc. As opposed to level of character, integrity, kindness, honesty, etc.

TurtleDove

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Re: She is not good enough for you
« Reply #32 on: November 08, 2013, 06:31:01 AM »
I personally would never tell my partner that anyone has told me he is not good enough for me. I cannot think of any reason that would justify hurting him in that way, unless my goal was to hurt him or make him feel insecure. And I wouldn't want to do that. So no matter what I think the BF is rude bordering on cruel for telling this to the OP.

miranova

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Re: She is not good enough for you
« Reply #33 on: November 11, 2013, 12:05:04 AM »

Although it's certainly possible that the BF in this story is repeating this to make the OP jealous, the real test is....how did he respond?  Because there is really no reason to tell you unless it's too prepare you for something or to protect you from finding out another way.  Telling you what she said and then continuing to be bestest friends with her is messed up.  Does he think her opinion has merit or not?  If not, he needs to distance himself from someone who will continue to sabotage his relationship.  If so, he needs to decide what to do about it....without telling you.  Jeez.

Winterlight

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Re: She is not good enough for you
« Reply #34 on: November 12, 2013, 08:59:25 AM »
There's a difference between "she's not good for you," which is something a good friend should be able to say, and "she's not good enough for you." The second implies that you should be dating someone prettier, smarter, richer, classier, rather than there's anything actively harmful about them.

I'd be pretty angry if someone told me the person I loved "wasn't good enough for me." It insults both the person, and my taste.

Agreed.
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

TurtleDove

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Re: She is not good enough for you
« Reply #35 on: November 12, 2013, 09:32:37 AM »
Did the OP let us know how her BF reacted and what his explanation for telling her this was?