All original reports, from both parties, mention nothing at all about one of the children throwing a tantrum. Just the owner taking exception to the mess and throwing the customers out.
It appears that the 'tantrum' has been thrown in later to muddy the waters, which puts a different slant on the entire situation.
That amount of mess from small children eating scones is not excessive and if the owner thinks it is, she is in the wrong trade. Especially when, picture and ensuing furore aside, she speaks to people in the manner she has admitted to.
Maybe in her own personal experience at the shop she owns. very few children make this sort of mess.
Her actual post is not that rude, actually.
I don't think she expected the parents to clean up the mess. I think she expected the two moms to pay enough attention to their children that they could steer them to lean over the table while the crumbs fell. Or break their scone into pieces on the plate, so that there weren't as many crumbs.
And given the updates, it sounds like the biggest part of the problem is that the mess was gratuitous. If the kid was having a tantrum and knocking his food around, the mother should have taken the food away from him.
I think that's the thing here. We have gotten to the point where we consider it a foregone conclusion that children are going to make a mess. in many places, this is not a big deal like a fast food restaurant or Chuck E Cheese. But, this coffee shop wasn't like that. It has an atmosphere where if a child cannot behave well, then they shouldn't be there.
Frankly, I appreciated places that discouraged people with badly behaved children because it gave me someplace to go when I wanted to get away from my own!
There were times when DH and I would go out for a nice dinner at a nice place only to have to suffer someone else's children who were trying to interact with us over the booth divider, or running around the restaurant from table to table while their parents just let it happen. We would leave when that would happen.
Do I expect that children should be crumb free? No, I don't. But, if I know my kids are going to make a mess, maybe I will take them outside to sit and eat there where the mess is not such a big deal. And if they are carrying on making noise, definitely, I would take them out.
I don't think there is anything wrong with establishing certain behavioral standards for children in certain public places.