Author Topic: Sharing pics of customers' messy table  (Read 7997 times)

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*inviteseller

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Re: Sharing pics of customers' messy table
« Reply #60 on: August 08, 2013, 08:29:24 AM »
They just did a story about this on GMA.  As someone who has done her time as a waitress, yes, we do have to clean up after the customers, but when you allow your kids to make absolutely unnecessary messes, you (general) are the rude one.  If your child has no concept how to act in public, do not inflict that child on the rest of us who have kids who do know how to act. 

I went to lunch with a close friend, my 2 kids (12 &1 at the time) and her 2 kids (7 &2 at the time) and I was never so embarrassed ..the 2 year old was throwing all her food and if she didn't like what she was fed, she spit it over the side of her high chair.  The 7 year old was eating small ears of corn on the cob from the salad bar and threw his finished cobs on the floor, jammed food in his mouth then spit it everywhere, yelled for the waitress by screaming "hey Lady get over here!!! I want something.".  What did mom do?  She said "that is how 2 year olds act about food, and boys are just so rambunctious!"  I was mortified!  My 1 year old had no food on the floor and my older DD was almost in tears from embarrassment.  I cleaned up as much as possible and then found the waitress and gave her a $20 because I eat at this place all the time and didn't want that to taint me.  Needless to say, I have NEVER had another meal in public with them again, but my older DD who went on vacation with them a few years ago said they haven't improved.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Sharing pics of customers' messy table
« Reply #61 on: August 08, 2013, 09:23:57 AM »
I think asking a patron to leave who has a child throwing a tantrum and stomping crumbs into the carpet is fine. To me her FB post was "a thanks to all my considerate customers, after seeing this mess, I appreciate you even more." I didn't see it as trying to call out the moms.

Psychopoesie

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Re: Sharing pics of customers' messy table
« Reply #62 on: August 08, 2013, 09:52:33 AM »
Noticed an article where the mother is named (sorry if someone's already posted).

http://www.today.com/moms/crumb-controversy-mom-angry-after-cafe-owner-kicks-out-messy-6C10867938

The mother's saying that the owner approached her about the mess, not the noise.

Cafe owner would not have been rude to politely ask someone to leave if their kid is having a meltdown or throwing food around. I've certainly been in cafes where the environment has been made extremely unpleasant by parents who haven't addressed their kids' noisy or rowdy behaviour (unrelenting screams, etc).

I can't see much mess from the pic though.  Have made more mess myself by accident - the other week I knocked over an empty glass which shattered across half the cafe floor as luck would have it. Told one of the staff straight away and they were lovely about it. I was so embarrassed.

I'm inclined to see the cafe owner's FB post as rude as well as unnecessary. It should be possible to thank valued customers without putting other customers down. Feels mean and intentionally shaming to me.

Having said that - the whole incident has been blown out of proportion.



ettiquit

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Re: Sharing pics of customers' messy table
« Reply #63 on: August 08, 2013, 10:06:07 AM »
I guess I'm not getting what the cafe owner hoped to gain from this. The mess really wasn't that bad, and without the context of the screaming child, she comes off as being a bit OCD. I would probably not go to her store because I'd be afraid of making more of a mess than what's "acceptable" and end up being called out on FB (anonymously or not, it would still be embarrassing).

I mean, what did she want the response to be?

Yvaine

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Re: Sharing pics of customers' messy table
« Reply #64 on: August 08, 2013, 10:06:56 AM »
I'm inclined to see the cafe owner's FB post as rude as well as unnecessary. It should be possible to thank valued customers without putting other customers down. Feels mean and intentionally shaming to me.

I agree that it was unnecessary, and it might well have been a bad business decision, but I'm having trouble seeing it as shaming since there was no name attached to it. No one except the mother had any way of knowing who made that mess. And instead of privately steaming, or reconsidering whether her family had been a pain, the mother attached her own name to it and effectively shamed herself.

cheyne

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Re: Sharing pics of customers' messy table
« Reply #65 on: August 08, 2013, 10:15:44 AM »
Why do we all assume that children are going to be messy or loud or have meltdowns?  There have been several posts here about appropriate venues for kids where they can do the above and everyone should expect it.  Why is this so?  When did we decide that it is OK for kids to make messes for others to clean, have meltdowns that others must listen to, and generally disturb others?  What happened to discipline?  Why should I or anyone else have to deal with you NOT dealing with your kid(s)?*

Brava to the shop owner who is addressing these behaviors in her business.  My son is stationed in the general area that this occured.  When DH and I go to visit DS, I will be sure to seek out and patronize this coffee shop.

*general you, we, everyone


TootsNYC

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Re: Sharing pics of customers' messy table
« Reply #66 on: August 08, 2013, 10:26:43 AM »
All I keep thinking is "How could the mother have cleaned up the mess if she was asked to leave?" I think the owner can pick one thing - either they were thrown out because of a screaming child OR they should have picked up their mess before they left. Posting about the mess on fb after asking them to leave seems petty to me.

I would tend to avoid that cafe if I lived in that town because what if I spill my coffee ? Will I be on the receiving end of a passive aggressive vaguebook?

She wasn't ever asked to clean up the mess. She was criticized (anonymously) for *allowing the mess to happen in the first place.*

When my DD was younger than or so, we went to a little cafe near my mom's. DD wanted to eat her soup herself. I watched her carefully, and had her lean over her bowl, and held my own spoon underneath for dribbles. It became clear she didn't need help, so I then just watched closely.
   When she brought us the check, the waitress was sort of cool, then looked at the floor and warmed up immediately. She even said, "we saw her eating by herself,and we were sure there was going to be SUCH a mess, but there isn't one at all!"
   (We'd had crackers as well, and I'd taught her how to crumble them into her bowl. There were plenty of crumbs on the *table,* which I then brushed onto a plate, so that mess was already contained.)
   My point is, it's possible to eat out with a child and keep the from making a huge mess. *THAT* is the expectation--not that you clean up. But that you don't make a huge mess in the first place.

And none of us were there, and I don't think we can actually trust the accounts of either of the two sides--they're too vested in making themselves look good.

But I can't imagine the owner hasn't had a mess or two to clean up before. If this one pushed a button for her, it *might* have been because the adults had a cavalier attitude toward it.

Psychopoesie

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Re: Sharing pics of customers' messy table
« Reply #67 on: August 08, 2013, 10:31:11 AM »
I'm inclined to see the cafe owner's FB post as rude as well as unnecessary. It should be possible to thank valued customers without putting other customers down. Feels mean and intentionally shaming to me.

I agree that it was unnecessary, and it might well have been a bad business decision, but I'm having trouble seeing it as shaming since there was no name attached to it. No one except the mother had any way of knowing who made that mess. And instead of privately steaming, or reconsidering whether her family had been a pain, the mother attached her own name to it and effectively shamed herself.

Agree that with a name to the FB shot, it would have been more shaming (more witnesses). Even without anyone else knowing her identity, I still see the FB post as shaming.  Because the mother knew she was the one the pic referred to negatively, who was being held up as an example of a bad customer. If it was me, I'd have been mortified.

If the mother felt that characterisation was unjust, challenging the post was an obvious next step. I don't see that the mother shamed herself - she stood up for herself (and potentially other parents of small children who might want to use the cafe). That's probably how she sees it, anyhow.

I can't say for sure what actually happened. Agree with TootsNYC that "...none of us were there, and I don't think we can actually trust the accounts of either of the two sides--they're too vested in making themselves look good."

 :)

Shoo

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Re: Sharing pics of customers' messy table
« Reply #68 on: August 08, 2013, 10:35:30 AM »
I'm inclined to see the cafe owner's FB post as rude as well as unnecessary. It should be possible to thank valued customers without putting other customers down. Feels mean and intentionally shaming to me.

I agree that it was unnecessary, and it might well have been a bad business decision, but I'm having trouble seeing it as shaming since there was no name attached to it. No one except the mother had any way of knowing who made that mess. And instead of privately steaming, or reconsidering whether her family had been a pain, the mother attached her own name to it and effectively shamed herself.

Exactly.  And I have to question whether it was a bad business decision.  Sure, lots of people across the country have chimed in to give their opinion, but the people of this town, the people I know, aren't as critical of the cafe as you might think.  A LOT of people are really fed up with unruly children and are on the side of the cafe owner.  This is a small town and everybody knows everybody, and all that.  What I've heard is that this business is now on the radar for a lot more people than before.

Roe

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Re: Sharing pics of customers' messy table
« Reply #69 on: August 08, 2013, 11:10:36 AM »
I guess I'm not getting what the cafe owner hoped to gain from this. The mess really wasn't that bad, and without the context of the screaming child, she comes off as being a bit OCD. I would probably not go to her store because I'd be afraid of making more of a mess than what's "acceptable" and end up being called out on FB (anonymously or not, it would still be embarrassing).


This is exactly why I think the owner/manager was an idiot to post it on FB.  I wouldn't go to the cafe. I might do something that gets me on FB!  What if I don't tip to her liking? What if I wear a funny outfit? What if I accidentally spill my soup?   Yeah, I'd steer clear of her cafe, for sure.   

Erich L-ster

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Re: Sharing pics of customers' messy table
« Reply #70 on: August 08, 2013, 11:57:41 AM »
I think there's a big difference between an accident and just plain letting yourself or your kid be a slob.

If you knock over a glass or drop a crumb by accident, it only takes a second and you don't keep doing it. If you keep dropping crumbs over the course of minutes with no regard to trying to keep the crumbs over a plate, you are a slob.

MommyPenguin

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Re: Sharing pics of customers' messy table
« Reply #71 on: August 08, 2013, 12:05:50 PM »
I have four kids, and rarely take them out to eat.  But I have on occasion, to family friendly places.  So I can say with experience that it is *really* difficult to clean small crumbs off carpet without a vacuum or something along that sort, but it's very easy to get up quickly with a vacuum.  If they have a tile floor, you can wet a napkin and sort of sweep everything into a pile and scoop it up, but you can't do that effectively on carpet.  That amount of mess, while it looks like a lot, doesn't necessarily imply to me that a child was deliberately crumbling up their scone and dumping it on the floor, just that they were dropping crumbs when they took bites, and probably not holding over the table as well as they should have.  In general I'm somewhat on the side of the moms here, at least based on that picture and the emphasis on the issue being the mess.  I agree with the others, too, that if they were asked to leave *before* they were finished, how would they have made even a token effort to clean up the mess?  They were told to get out.  I'd be impressed if they could have gotten everything off the floor, but they might have made an effort to clean up if they'd been given time to do so.

I think that places that use carpet do need to keep in mind that it makes it very difficult for anybody without special tools to clean things off the floor.  Dropped utensils, napkins, and trash, sure.  But crumbs?  Not so much.

turnip

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Re: Sharing pics of customers' messy table
« Reply #72 on: August 08, 2013, 12:21:53 PM »
Why do we all assume that children are going to be messy or loud or have meltdowns?  There have been several posts here about appropriate venues for kids where they can do the above and everyone should expect it.  Why is this so?  When did we decide that it is OK for kids to make messes for others to clean, have meltdowns that others must listen to, and generally disturb others?  What happened to discipline?  Why should I or anyone else have to deal with you NOT dealing with your kid(s)?*

Brava to the shop owner who is addressing these behaviors in her business.  My son is stationed in the general area that this occured.  When DH and I go to visit DS, I will be sure to seek out and patronize this coffee shop.

*general you, we, everyone

Counter-question - when did we decide that kids shoouldn't be allowed out in public until they can behave like small adults?   Kids are part of society, I don't mean to keep my confined to my home until I can guarantee they won't spill crumbs or get upset. 

When any of us choose to go out in public, that means we have to deal with the public.  Why don't people who are excessively sensitive to noises or messes stay at home?

mich3554

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Re: Sharing pics of customers' messy table
« Reply #73 on: August 08, 2013, 12:37:39 PM »
Why do we all assume that children are going to be messy or loud or have meltdowns?  There have been several posts here about appropriate venues for kids where they can do the above and everyone should expect it.  Why is this so?  When did we decide that it is OK for kids to make messes for others to clean, have meltdowns that others must listen to, and generally disturb others?  What happened to discipline?  Why should I or anyone else have to deal with you NOT dealing with your kid(s)?*

Brava to the shop owner who is addressing these behaviors in her business.  My son is stationed in the general area that this occured.  When DH and I go to visit DS, I will be sure to seek out and patronize this coffee shop.

*general you, we, everyone

Counter-question - when did we decide that kids shoouldn't be allowed out in public until they can behave like small adults?   Kids are part of society, I don't mean to keep my confined to my home until I can guarantee they won't spill crumbs or get upset. 

When any of us choose to go out in public, that means we have to deal with the public.  Why don't people who are excessively sensitive to noises or messes stay at home?

About the time when people decided children should be taken everywhere adults are.  I can't ever remember being taken to a cocktail party as a child, yet the last few I've been to there were many children there.  I've watched a waiter carrying a heavy tray of drinks nearly trip over a free ranging toddler during a cocktail party because the parents didnt seem to think that this was a problem.

When we were taken out as children, we knew that the fastest way to get removed from the situation is to misbehave.  Going to a nice place, whether it was a cafe, a restaurant, a museum, or an event was enough of a treat that we minded to the nth degree so we could partake.

Goosey

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Re: Sharing pics of customers' messy table
« Reply #74 on: August 08, 2013, 12:37:59 PM »
I dont think people are asking kids to act like small adults. We're asking adults to act like parents.