General Etiquette > Dating

Stood Up

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sparkplug:
So tonight I've been stood up. I recently joined an online dating site and exchanged a few messages with a guy who seemed like a good match. On Monday night he asked me if I would be interested in meeting up for a drink Thursday night. Tuesday, I responded back that I'm free and gave him my phone number so he could call or text me with a time and place. Yesterday, he replied back that he would call me today to work out the details. I never got the call, and I turned down two invites out with friends tonight because I had agreed to go out with him.

It's now after 7 and I'm seething. Looking at his profile, he was last on the site at 4 pm this afternoon, so I don't think he forgot about our plans. How hard is it to call someone or send a one-line message saying you can't make it tonight? What should I do? The mature adult side of me says to ignore it, but I also want to make it known that this was not okay. Is it too snarky to send a message that reads "Thanks for wasting my time tonight."?

gramma dishes:
I wouldn't.  It would just boost his ego instead of making him feel bad.  Just mark him off the "potential" list.  He's not worth your time or one tiny iota of space in your brain.

Is it too late to catch up with your friends?

Miss Unleaded:

--- Quote from: sparkplug on August 08, 2013, 10:19:20 PM ---...
 How hard is it to call someone or send a one-line message saying you can't make it tonight? What should I do? The mature adult side of me says to ignore it, but I also want to make it known that this was not okay. Is it too snarky to send a message that reads "Thanks for wasting my time tonight."?

--- End quote ---

Don't ignore it, but also don't message him about it either. Personally I'd block his account and forget about him.  If someone can't be bothered to keep a first date, when they're supposed to making their best impression, it doesn't bode well for future prospects.  Be grateful he's showing you what a disrepectful boor he is so early on in the acquaintance and move on to other men who are more considerate of your time.

VorFemme:
Unless he contacts you about a car accident that destroyed his cell phone - or stranded him in an area with NO cell phone service - he is NOT going to get a second chance.

Virg:
I agree with the spirit of VorFemme's post.  I'd suggest not responding in any way, but I wouldn't block him just yet, because there are actually a few legitimate reasons that could excuse him.  For an example, if you found out your mom was injured in an accident, wouldn't it take a little while for "oh, shoot, I stood up that person I met on that dating site" to rise to the top of your priority list?

I'd leave him unblocked but unanswered for a few days, and if he comes back to you then you can judge his excuse.  If he doesn't respond in a few days, then Miss Unleaded is probably right so block him and be done.

Virg

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