Author Topic: Drinks before a school meeting?  (Read 10683 times)

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snowdragon

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Re: Drinks before a school meeting?
« Reply #45 on: August 09, 2013, 02:27:05 PM »
The LW even says that no one got tipsy, so I really having a hard time seeing what was the problem.

This. I am a complete teetotaler and while I would not get in a car with someone whose had even one, going to a meeting at a school is not a problem. If letterwritter does not like how these mom conduct themselves, she'd be better off not going out with them in the future - it really does not seem to be a good fit. I wonder how she'd react to them having a drink at home while her kid was visiting, ect

MindsEye

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Re: Drinks before a school meeting?
« Reply #46 on: August 09, 2013, 02:27:30 PM »
Gosh, I sure hope that the other mother's know how much their consumption of alcoholic beverages in moderation with a meal before going to an adult meeting disgusted and scandalized the LW.   ::)

So that next time they know better than to invite her out to dinner with them.

My reaction to the LW's horrified judgement is an eyeroll and a wish that she would pull the stick out.

Also, I am a bit confused why several people have brought up the issue of teachers drinking, when the letter wasn't about teachers at all...

Hmmmmm

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Re: Drinks before a school meeting?
« Reply #47 on: August 09, 2013, 02:31:20 PM »
Huh, I guess I'm the odd man out.  I had asked how people felt about teachers drinking, because a few years ago some colleagues had a glass a wine with dinner the night of Parent/Teacher conferences.  A few of us (fellow teachers) thought they were being unprofessional.

I know very few people that would have their mental or motor abilities be materially effected by a glass of wine. So it wouldn't phase me in the least for a group of teachers to go out for dinner and a drink or too before returning back to the school for additional work.

If they drank to the point of slurring words or other noticeable behavior, then I think it would be unprofessional to have parent conferences.

Coralreef

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Re: Drinks before a school meeting?
« Reply #48 on: August 09, 2013, 02:40:51 PM »
I see nothing wrong with a drink while having a meal.  If each mother had eaten at home, who would have know they had a glass of wine or beer before going to the meeting?  The LW needs to relax.  I'm pretty sure she was not forced to order alcohol, so live and let live.


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TootsNYC

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Re: Drinks before a school meeting?
« Reply #49 on: August 09, 2013, 02:51:31 PM »
Gosh, I sure hope that the other mother's know how much their consumption of alcoholic beverages in moderation with a meal before going to an adult meeting disgusted and scandalized the LW.   ::)

So that next time they know better than to invite her out to dinner with them.

My reaction to the LW's horrified judgement is an eyeroll and a wish that she would pull the stick out.

Also, I am a bit confused why several people have brought up the issue of teachers drinking, when the letter wasn't about teachers at all...

I agree with you on the bolded. And even if they don't know, it's good that the letter-writer was so scandalized that she never wants to be around them again. Because that will mean they don't have to put up with her later.

I think the teacher thing was brought up as a sideline because we were getting bored being in such total agreement.

LadyL

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Re: Drinks before a school meeting?
« Reply #50 on: August 09, 2013, 02:54:46 PM »
As a lawyer, it is not at all odd to mix alcohol with business - in fact, it's common.  I get that teachers are "different" and I would not advocate a teacher getting bombed before a conference (and wouldn't personally drink if I were the teacher) but responsible use of alcohol is not morally wrong and does not automatically mean people are unprofessional and incapable of doing their jobs.

This. Many adults-only work activities can involve moderate alcohol consumption.

Or immoderate  >:D. I was recently at a conference run by top people in my academic discipline. The day after the big gala the host passed around a giant bottle of advil and bananas since about half he group (or more) was hungover. Our field is notorious for working and playing hard. It's not seen as unprofessional to drink some, a lot, or not at all. I realize standards are different when kids are involved but I still can't imagine being scandalized by people having one or two drinks.

DottyG

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Re: Drinks before a school meeting?
« Reply #51 on: August 09, 2013, 03:09:46 PM »
Quote
Also, I am a bit confused why several people have brought up the issue of teachers drinking, when the letter wasn't about teachers at all...

Because the thread was becoming a "snakes in a restaurantish", so a tangent was entered into it.

I love this response!   This is exactly what I was thinking! :D

Quote
And that totally frees you up to focus on the actual inappropriate behavior in the situation you described: Going to Applebee’s. Having a drink before a school meeting isn’t necessarily wrong; but having a "meal" at Applebee’s is always a mistake.

I know someone that's on a school board and was going to (what he knew was going to be) a very trying, difficult board meeting.  While he typically has an afternoon drink, he didn't have one that day.  He knew he needed every bit of his brain for what was to come.  And that, I think, was very wise.  He was, in effect, going to work - not just to a meeting.  I will say, though, that he sure needed one when he got home!  Apparently, it was more trying than he'd even anticipated!




darkprincess

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Re: Drinks before a school meeting?
« Reply #52 on: August 09, 2013, 03:10:45 PM »
I think there was no problem with anyone drinking. It sounds like it was all done in a responsible way.
When it comes to teachers, my opinion has to do if the teachers were working. Where I live the teachers do not get paid to go to the evening activities. If they are there it is because they are volunteers. As long as the teacher was not tipsy I see no problem for them to have a drink with dinner before they attend an unpaid, non required, voluntary event.

I have actually been a parent in a similar situation. The parent who was concerned about us other parents having a glass of wine told us her concern while we ate. It turned into a interesting discussion about how alcohal effects people in relation to the amount of alcohal, empty vs full stomach, time after drinking, type of alcohal, etc. After the discussion and as we were walking accross the street to the meeting the parent said she still thinks we are all inappropriate. >:D We smiled, changed the subject, and she was never invited to dinner with us before meetings again.

zyrs

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Re: Drinks before a school meeting?
« Reply #53 on: August 09, 2013, 03:17:17 PM »
This is, as others have mentioned, really a non-issue.  But it does sound awfully familiar.

My favorite teacher in junior high scandalized my mother once.  Everyone went out after a PTA meeting and I guess my favorite teacher had a martini and smoked a cigarette using a cigarette holder.  Mom told me about it and all it did was increase my crush on her (my favorite teacher) even more.

bonyk

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Re: Drinks before a school meeting?
« Reply #54 on: August 09, 2013, 03:36:11 PM »
Also, I am a bit confused why several people have brought up the issue of teachers drinking, when the letter wasn't about teachers at all...

I brought it up, because I wanted to hear people's opinion on the topic:

Huh, I guess I'm the odd man out.  I had asked how people felt about teachers drinking, because a few years ago some colleagues had a glass a wine with dinner the night of Parent/Teacher conferences.  A few of us (fellow teachers) thought they were being unprofessional.

miranova

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Re: Drinks before a school meeting?
« Reply #55 on: August 09, 2013, 03:39:01 PM »
I would have ZERO problem with a teacher having a drink with dinner, even if they were headed to a conference.  It's a total non issue as far as I'm concerned.  I also see nothing wrong with them having a long work lunch with a few margaritas on teacher planning day (no students).  So many other professions have dinners where the wine flows all night long, I'm not going to hold teachers to a higher standard as long as they aren't watching kids while tipsy.

Sharnita

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Re: Drinks before a school meeting?
« Reply #56 on: August 09, 2013, 04:02:48 PM »
Too much caffeine can have an adverse affect on behavior but imagine deciding it was unprofessional for a teacher to have a coffee or soda with dinner or tojudge a parent for drinking an espresso before going to a school function.

I have dealt with drunk parents and high parents and that is unacceptable bit these parents weren't altered.

kherbert05

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Re: Drinks before a school meeting?
« Reply #57 on: August 09, 2013, 04:09:03 PM »
My first reaction was Lady you know you are in Austin right not the bible belt. I bet she would be scandalized by a group of teachers from my school that go to happy hour. There are teachers still teaching at my school, who taught when it was a firing offence for a teacher to be seen drinking in public.


Now here getting a DWI can mean losing your teaching licence depending on the circumstances and if you report the arrest to your district. (repeat offences, someone being hurt, children (not students but their own kids) being in the car can mean losing your teaching licence)




One thing I love about our kids and cops officer is he draws the line between legal and illegal very clearly. He will even tell the kids that if he is off duty and out with his family they might see him drinking a beer. He is an adult, it is OK.
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*inviteseller

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Re: Drinks before a school meeting?
« Reply #58 on: August 09, 2013, 04:17:34 PM »
This mom would have been scandalized by us PTA moms.  When we had committee meetings at each others houses, the wine flowed.  None of us got drunk, but we were socializing while we came up with great ideas for our committees, so it was no big deal about a bottle being brought out.  The first time I had dinner with the members of the PTA board after being elected treasurer they told me it was a no kids/spouses allowed time and we <gasp> had wine with our meal.  I do know some parents of some kids at my DD's schools who came to events under the influence..these were people with known problems to begin with.  But a bunch of moms having a drink with dinner before an evening school activity that is parents only?  Bet the teachers all had drinks with their dinners too!

delabela

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Re: Drinks before a school meeting?
« Reply #59 on: August 09, 2013, 05:18:44 PM »
A glass of wine before a school meeting sounds like taking appropriate measures.   ;)

You know, I would have no problem if my child's teacher had a beer with dinner prior to an evening meeting, but if I was the teacher I probably wouldn't do it.  Mainly because to me, that's a "hey it's time to relax" signal, and I would probably seriously hate going to work later.  And I'd certainly not be ok with a teacher being "altered" when meeting with me.  But to me a beer/glass of wine with dinner is normal.