General Etiquette > Techno-quette

Facing someone you blocked

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BG: A couple of years ago, a guy I went to high school with "friended" me on Facebook. Actually my memories of this guy were extremely vague, but we had friends in common and he remembered me. We started messaging on FB, and I engaged in some fairly long chats, though I was never actually "interested." Later he became too intense for me, posting every time I posted, writing great novel-length comments on everything I said, and so on. He asked me to meet up for drinks and at that point I told him I wasn't interested in a date, just to be clear. He backed off for a while but then came back again sending me some very long messages. I answered with short answers. He just wasn't getting it, so finally I defriended and blocked without explanation. I didn't think he was super creepy or stalker-ish, just perhaps a little too hopeful and annoying. End of BG,

Now: my high school reunion is coming up and how do I act towards him if he is there? What do I say if he asks me why I blocked him? Or even if he doesn't? I don't think he's done anything to warrant a cut direct (the face-to-face equivalent of a FB block) but I also don't really want to talk to him or find myself in the position of explaining.

Be polite and friendly, but not too much so.  Limit time spent with him using time-honoured evasions such as topping up your drink, going to  the ladies, seeing someone else you have to catch up with etc.

If he asks about Facebook, be somewhat vague and just comment on how often Facebook changes settings, sometimes resulting in "glitches". 

If you prefer, tell him you've decided to reserve Facebook for family only.  If he persists, possibly you could direct him to an email address you rarely use?  (I think most of us have one of these for online stuff where we don't want spam going to our regular emails.)  Easy enough to set one up if needed.

"Oh, I had to lock down my account.  Too much online nonsense, you know.  Hey look, there's that guy over there!"

Sounds good. I'll be polite but if he tries to engage in too much conversation I will suddenly need to go get another drink.

If he has the audacity to ask about Facebook, I'm torn between "Oh, I cut down my Facebook activity to close friends only" and brutal honesty: "Well, if you really want to know, I was finding your constant posting on my wall a little intense, especially since I don't even know you. Even my friends were starting to notice."

I'm thinking that if someone were to ask a question, they should be prepared to hear the answer. I may be overthinking this as he may not ask at all (he may not even be at the reunion, who knows) but I want to be prepared.

I wouldn't go the direct route only because this is a guy you will probably never see again and even if you do happen to run into him again, you can keep all on the surface. He won't be a close friend so no need to be brutally honest.


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