Many of you will remember my many posts a few years agabout my former BFF Marie. Long and short, she decided that my wedding was not as important as hers, her feelings, or really anything that didn't involve her directly, and I let my emotions get carried away, and a 16 year frendship pretty much imploded. Since then we maintained a relationship
of: we chat through text somewhat often, and just see one another on occasion, and we are much happier this way. Yay!
This past February my DH and I discovered that Little One was on the way! We are due just before Halloween and are thrilled! This is the first baby on both sides in many years and we are all beyond thrilled!
We began telling family shortly after, and a little while after told friends. Marie was among those told. She expressed excitement for me and DH and said that we must be very excited as this has been on our (chiefly DH as he is now in his mid 30's) minds for a while. I thanked her and that was that. It should be noted that Marie and her DH are not really child people, so I didn't expect too much enthusiasm. Marie felt that because of her mother's immaturity (ironic, I know) that she was shouldered with being responsible for her three little brothers too much growing up so she felt that was enough "child raising" for her. I do agree with her on this, as I witnessed it. Nonetheless, I felt that our conversation was nice and friendly.
About a month after this conversation, MArie sent me a text that said something along the lines of: "BabyGirl, you should be really proud of me!" I replied, "Ok...why is that?" She said " I contained my jealousy!"
I asked what she was talking about, and she said "Well, since my DH and I were married over a year before you and MrBabyGirl, I really thought we'd have the first baby, soooo I admit that while I was excited I was a little bummed at first but I kept it too myself!"
My flabber was definitely gasted. I didn't know what really say so I said somethin along the lines of "Good for you/Awesome/Yay" and then bean dipped. But it was really bizarre to say the least. I never thought of it as a race to have kids...especially since she was pretty vehement about not wanting them! But I digress.
Fast forward to mid June....I get a text from Marie...of her ultrasound. She and her DH are due in January. OOOOOOOOOOOk. send my congratulations appropriately and be sure to conceal my confusion. I digress again.
Now comes the issue. I see her Grandma every so often as we live in the same town. Grandma knows I am pregnant, and obviously knows her granddaughter is too. Her Grandma has no idea what went down between us a few years ago. It wasn't really anyone's business, and it was painful enough for us to deal with without including input from third parties. but now Granny is gushing about how excited she is about these babies and how we MUST have a double shower.
Um, no. The idea of that makes me sick to my stomach. Like I said, Marie and I can be in the same room together, but I prefer small doses and limit it to the occasional lunch or coffee visit. My fear is that Granny will push this. I'm sure MArie would be all for it, but I'm not exactly sure how to phrase my regrets without divulging exactly why. I don't really feel like this would be an approprate time or place( none would really) to let all the drama resurface, especially when it's no one else's business.
If I phrase along the lines of: "That sounds nice, Granny, but I really think that the (2-3) showers that my family is planning is quite good for me, you should really enjoy your granddaughter's celebration with family!" I'm afraid that she will suspect something because prior to said wedding issues a few years ago, we ALWAYS went to each other's family functions. I know I don't really owe Granny any explanations, but I'm trying to find a way to ensure that none of the drama will resurface, at least not from me since I wouldn't put it past Marie to bring it up.