Author Topic: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.  (Read 9206 times)

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sammycat

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #15 on: August 12, 2013, 01:51:03 AM »
This could definitely go under the "none of your business" category, but for me, I would be really tempted to let the BD girl know they were inviting children and a stripper to her home. 

It's not being held at her home. It's her parents or sister's house or something. I wouldn't consider myself close enough to her anyway to say anything to her about this beforehand.  She's well aware of the party, and the guestlist, just not the stripper part.

She has 2 children of her own. The stripper part is supposed to last about 15 minutes. I'll have to take other guests' word on that, as hopefully we'll be long gone by that point.

snowdragon

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #16 on: August 12, 2013, 02:11:33 AM »
She has 2 children of her own. The stripper part is supposed to last about 15 minutes. I'll have to take other guests' word on that, as hopefully we'll be long gone by that point.

  Someone needs to warn folks that this could get real sticky for them.  In many areas having a stripper in a house with kids, could lead to all sorts of unpleasant problems, should anyone complain - or if the kids go to school and let this slip.

crella

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #17 on: August 12, 2013, 02:44:54 AM »
Wow. The birthday girl may have expressed interest in seeing a male stripper somewhere along the line, but I'd bet she never meant to have one at a family style party with older relatives, children etc. I guess her friends mean well, but still...it's not a great choice for this particular party. They can't assume she'll be thrilled with a stripper when her own kids and husband are there.

If you know the organizers well enough, could you express your misgivings?

sammycat

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #18 on: August 12, 2013, 06:00:10 AM »
UPDATE.

DS16 has just informed me his shift got changed and instead of working 5-10pm he is now working 6-9pm. So problem solved! We now have a genuine excuse to leave just before the stripper (and DH can duck out just before 6 and drop DS at work as it's very close by).

I've never been so glad of a shift change in all my life!  :P

As for notifying the birthday girl beforehand,  I don't feel that is my place. It's being organised by her sister or cousin (I can never remember which), whom I've only met a few times. I just have to trust she knows what she's doing....

Birthday girl and I have some mutual friends (it really is a small world), who I presume will have at least been invited, so it'll be interesting to see if any photos turn up on facebook.

Indigosails

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #19 on: August 12, 2013, 08:12:08 AM »
I wonder if there will be a mass exit of guests at 8:30. 

secretrebel

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #20 on: August 12, 2013, 08:16:52 AM »
I would respond saying:
"I won't be joining the stripping part of the festivities and won't be able to contribute towards that activity. I hope you all have fun though and I look forward to seeing you at the party."

Piratelvr1121

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #21 on: August 12, 2013, 09:36:16 AM »
I keep imagining some little kid running into the room to find their mother (needs drink, tattling, potty training kid needs help) and getting an eyeful of something they shouldn't.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Margo

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #22 on: August 12, 2013, 10:05:44 AM »
I'm glad it's resolved for you.

I think if that had not happened, it would have been fine for you to send your regrets - it's a bait and switch.

Even now I would probably let the sister/cousin know that you will be leaving before the stripper comes and won't be contributing, as you don't feel comfortable about that type of entertainment at a family-friendly party.  That way, she knows that you won't be contributing to the cost and  that you will be leaving early, and if she gets any other, similar responses she may consider rescheduling the stripper to a different occasion.


Sophia

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #23 on: August 12, 2013, 10:08:07 AM »
I am 43 and I am squicked out by the idea of being in the same building as my mother while she is watching a stripper.  There are many things I would rather not know about my parents. 

MommyPenguin

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #24 on: August 12, 2013, 10:09:32 AM »
Sounds like the update went great!  Perfect!  I was going to suggest bringing a few books to read in case you have to park somewhere to wait for your son.  :)

When I was in high school, a friend of mine had a stripper for her 18th birthday.  I don't know if she was in on it, but she didn't plan it.  Like in your circumstance, others in the group organized it and paid for it (I assume).  I didn't know until my mom dropped me off at the party.  Myself, and another boy and girl who had moral reasons not to watch the show just went upstairs and hung out in another room until it was over.  I think we watched TV, I don't remember for sure.  The boy (I know because I dated him later) and I were also not yet 18, so I'm not sure if it would even had been legal for us to watch?  No idea how that works.  I don't know if the girl was or not, but I think she was.  Anyway, nobody had a problem with our removing ourselves upstairs.  I think enough of the people sort of realized that a stripper isn't something that everybody is comfortable with, so they weren't really surprised that a few of us didn't want to see it.  And the three of us were known as being somewhat more religiously conservative than the rest, so it probably didn't surprise them who it was, either.  :)

*inviteseller

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #25 on: August 12, 2013, 10:26:03 AM »
I am by no means a prude..but this just sounds...icky!  If I was given that information after the fact, I would decline because I would NOT want my kids in the house if this was going on (as others have said, unless they lock them in a room, one could wander out) and as someone who has seen male strippers (my friends idea for my bachorlorette party, and it was fun!) they don't just stand there and take their clothes off.  Thankfully we were in the back, but I saw these guys dancing and simulating certain things on some women.  Not an activity when grandma and great aunt Ruth are sitting there!  Add in asking everyone to pay for something they may find distasteful for whatever reason (I wouldn't pay!) is presumptuous.  So glad your son's schedule got changed, but they may still ask you for the money before you leave.

whiskeytangofoxtrot

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #26 on: August 12, 2013, 10:42:48 AM »
I am 43 and I am squicked out by the idea of being in the same building as my mother while she is watching a stripper.  There are many things I would rather not know about my parents.

Pre-cise-ly why I didn't attend my sister's bachelorette party. Even seeing a few photos later made me feel like i needed to bathe  :o.

OP, glad the timing worked out for you- whew!

FoxPaws

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #27 on: August 12, 2013, 10:55:20 AM »
I wonder if anyone has thought to inform the stripper that there will be children in the vicinity. It would be too funny a shame if he had to immediately turn around and leave upon finding out there were underage guests on the premises.

I don't have anything against strippers, but this is - in my opinion - very poorly thought out.

Sammycat, glad you dodged a bullet.
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Goosey

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #28 on: August 12, 2013, 11:01:48 AM »
I am 43 and I am squicked out by the idea of being in the same building as my mother while she is watching a stripper.  There are many things I would rather not know about my parents.

Pre-cise-ly why I didn't attend my sister's bachelorette party. Even seeing a few photos later made me feel like i needed to bathe  :o.
Pictures at a bachlorette party??  :P Somebody needed their camera taken away.

Everybody has their boundaries. Like others, I hope that they're going to have the kids safely away, because that's really something Jr doesn't need to see at this point in their life.

But I'm not going to judge any adults for having different boundaries with their relatives than I do. Live and let live.

I'd say anyone is totally okay not participating and there should be no question why. And I also think the "give us $10!" is rude.

Winterlight

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #29 on: August 12, 2013, 11:02:30 AM »
I wonder if anyone has thought to inform the stripper that there will be children in the vicinity. It would be too funny a shame if he had to immediately turn around and leave upon finding out there were underage guests on the premises.

I don't have anything against strippers, but this is - in my opinion - very poorly thought out.

Sammycat, glad you dodged a bullet.

That's a good point.

I am 43 and I am squicked out by the idea of being in the same building as my mother while she is watching a stripper.  There are many things I would rather not know about my parents. 

POD. Just...no.
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