Author Topic: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.  (Read 7945 times)

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Thipu1

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #30 on: August 12, 2013, 11:14:02 AM »
Thank the Deity that DS16's shift was changed.  That gives you time to attend the party and wish the Birthday Girl well but leave before things get uncomfortable.

Having it in a private home with children present is just wrong. Asking guests to pay for the 'entertainment' just compounds the problem.

Several decades ago, I attended a lunchtime Birthday party in the office for a supervisor.  The party included a male stripper.  Most of us didn't know what was coming and beat a hasty retreat when the show started.  I can assure you all that heads rolled in the office after THAT one.       

Outdoor Girl

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #31 on: August 12, 2013, 11:15:08 AM »
Serendipitous shift change, that was.

I feel sorry for all the husbands at this party!  I know very few straight men who would be comfortable watching a male stripper.  Although those same men would be all over it if it were a female stripper.   ::)

This plan has 'Trainwreck' stamped all over it.  A stripper at a party that includes children?  Yeah, no.
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DavidH

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #32 on: August 12, 2013, 11:43:20 AM »
In my experience, strippers at parties are typically at single sex parties with friends around the same age.

I can't think of a less suitable environment than a party with children and spouses.  They need to find a place to have the children go, and assuming a heterosexual crowd, under the best assumption, about half of the audience won't be very interested in the stripper.  And watching a stripper with your parents and grandparents would seem to change the mood entirely. 

Ironically, the $10 seems to me the least offensive since contributing to the party instead of bringing a gift doesn't seem like a big deal to me.  Kind of like a registry, you don't have to like the item you pick, you know the HC wants that item.  If you have moral objections, that's a different issue entirely. 

workerbee

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #33 on: August 12, 2013, 12:05:29 PM »
I'm in agreement with most of the others that this is just.....weird. I get that some people might think this is funny, but there is a time and place, and this one is not appropriate.

Maybe (best case scenario!) this is a "joke" stripper where he comes in dressed as a gorilla or something and proceeds to strip down to a bathing suit.

I would probably find some excuse to be in the bathroom or helping with the dishes - just quietly excuse myself. Not because I have any moral objection but because I'm just not interested. Kind of like if everyone insisted on watching a sporting event that I cared nothing about.

Two Ravens

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #34 on: August 12, 2013, 12:26:23 PM »
In my experience, strippers at parties are typically at single sex parties with friends around the same age.

I can't think of a less suitable environment than a party with children and spouses.  They need to find a place to have the children go, and assuming a heterosexual crowd, under the best assumption, about half of the audience won't be very interested in the stripper.  And watching a stripper with your parents and grandparents would seem to change the mood entirely. 

Ironically, the $10 seems to me the least offensive since contributing to the party instead of bringing a gift doesn't seem like a big deal to me.  Kind of like a registry, you don't have to like the item you pick, you know the HC wants that item.  If you have moral objections, that's a different issue entirely.

I have heard about these parties before. The guys were out in the garage, drinking beer and looking at cars, the ladies were with the "entertainment" in the living room, and all the kids were upstairs under the watchful eye of a babysitter watching movies. No chance encounters or anything like that...

(from what I heard, the stripper was rather alarmed when he got to the house and was met by all the guys drinking beer, and was visibly relieved to be directed to the living room...  ;))

guihong

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #35 on: August 12, 2013, 12:30:42 PM »
Strippers aren't my thing, either, but I took my mother to see the Chippendales (not one, but a troupe of strippers!) for her 70th birthday.  It was something on her bucket list  ::).  Mom had a much better time than I did, and got a little "happy" from ordering drinks so the handsome waiter would keep coming back ;).   She wasn't the type to clutch her pearls, though.

As for the party-hooray for shift changes, though even if I didn't have a kid at that party, I too would be too worried about inadvertent sightings of Santa Claus to even enjoy it (if I enjoyed strippers).



BeagleMommy

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #36 on: August 12, 2013, 12:35:48 PM »
Glad that the shift change made it easy for you to leave.  I would not want to pay for a stripper at someone's party.  I don't care if others choose to do this, but I just won't.

OP, you could always say "Oh, I already bought a gift for Birthday Girl, but good luck with your plan."

KimodoDragon

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #37 on: August 12, 2013, 01:26:02 PM »
This reminds me of an awful invitation I received three years ago - an invite to a BABY SHOWER that included "entertainment" from a male stripper.   The actual invite had an insert with a picture of a bowtie and g-string with the words "OH BABY"!  I shook my head and threw the invite in the nearest trash can.  It was ridiculous.  I'd heard through the grapevine that out of 50 invites sent, 12 people showed up.

LeveeWoman

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #38 on: August 12, 2013, 01:45:42 PM »
This reminds me of an awful invitation I received three years ago - an invite to a BABY SHOWER that included "entertainment" from a male stripper.   The actual invite had an insert with a picture of a bowtie and g-string with the words "OH BABY"!  I shook my head and threw the invite in the nearest trash can.  It was ridiculous.  I'd heard through the grapevine that out of 50 invites sent, 12 people showed up.

Just when I thought I had heard it all,...

nyoprinces

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #39 on: August 12, 2013, 02:33:24 PM »
Thanks for the (very fast!) feedback.

To answer a few questions - there are no shops, cafes etc around to go to during this time, and even if there was, I doubt they'd be open at 9pm on a Saturday.

The birthday girl is unaware of this so far as I know, and I didn't find out about this till after the RSVP. I really like her (and her DH, my cousin), so would like to celebrate with her.

I'm just not sure how many people from "my" family are going; it may be primarily her family and friends (some of whom I do know).  I'm imagining her side has the babysitting thing covered so it would seem a bit odd for me/DH to go and interject into that.

Party length - it's fairly standard here for family parties to go from 5pm till whenever, so the length doesn't seem odd or worry me.

I'm thinking at this point of just leaving at 8.30pm, even though it's going to require a bit of mucking around fetching DS16 from work at 10pm (as it's virtually back near the party site).

No, having a stripper at a family birthday party is what's "a bit odd." Being uncomfortable with that and choosing to do something else, be that leaving or going to check on the kids, is the opposite of odd. I know it's a moot point now, but if someone were uncomfortable with me skipping a strip show to see what my kids were up to with the babysitter, I would think again about whether my kids should be spending time with whoever they'd arranged to babysit.

JeanFromBNA

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #40 on: August 12, 2013, 02:53:07 PM »
If somebody asks you for money, all you have to do is reply, "I already got her a blender!"

ladyknight1

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #41 on: August 12, 2013, 03:08:50 PM »
DH and I attended a birthday party for a friend two years ago, and the surprise entertainment was a belly dancer. It was very tastefully done and everyone enjoyed the entertainment. At no point was anyone asked for a contribution. Also, this party was 21 and up, with several bar stations around the home and lanai.

OP, I can't wait to hear the updates after the party.

SoCalVal

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #42 on: August 12, 2013, 03:20:08 PM »
I can't think of a less suitable environment than a party with children and spouses.  They need to find a place to have the children go, and assuming a heterosexual crowd, under the best assumption, about half of the audience won't be very interested in the stripper.  And watching a stripper with your parents and grandparents would seem to change the mood entirely.

I have one that's close but, since minor children weren't involved, wasn't as bad.

A male stripper was hired as the director's gift for one of the productions at my college theatre department.  The director's gift is always a surprise to the director (as to what it is), but the rumor regarding this one circulated throughout our department very quickly (which must've been without the instructors hearing about it or, I think, they would've shut it down immediately despite the dept being pretty laid back).  One of my friends (who was part of the production) brought a camcorder to tape the entire thing.  It occurred at school, during the lunch hour break between classes (they never scheduled classes 12pm-1pm) and took place in our smaller theatre (so everyone watching was very close to the stage.  The poor director (a female) was told to sit in a chair in the center of the room.  I wonder what she must've thought for the theatre to be full of students who weren't even part of the productions (there were some fringe-theatre students in the room as well).  Yes, I stayed to watch (I was 22 years old at the time and didn't know better as did several of my fellow theatre classmates and friends who, I'm sure, wouldn't have stayed to watch now).  We were in awe that this was actually taking place and wanted to witness how it would go down.

To her credit, the director was a good sport about it and participated but only after she tried to run out of the room and got stopped by the stripper (guts that woman has!).  I would've been humiliated to have a room full of students -- MY students! -- watching as a stripper gyrated in front of me, never mind one of my trusted students (and friend) taping it.  After it was over, my friend told me the director walked up to her and demanded the videotape (this was 20+ years ago so before the digital age).  Friend also told me, later on, that when she encountered the director's husband, he just gave Friend "the look."

After the dance was over, the ringleader (who I suspect came up with the idea) said they "wanted to give her a gift that she'd never forget" (it had no relation to the theme of the play).  I still tell that story and just shake my head wondering what in the world they were thinking (it was the actors and my friend who gave the gift so everyone was between the ages of 19 and mid-30s).



Thipu1

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #43 on: August 12, 2013, 04:49:37 PM »
DH and I attended a birthday party for a friend two years ago, and the surprise entertainment was a belly dancer. It was very tastefully done and everyone enjoyed the entertainment. At no point was anyone asked for a contribution. Also, this party was 21 and up, with several bar stations around the home and lanai.

OP, I can't wait to hear the updates after the party.

A Middle-Eastern dancer is very different from a stripper. 

A while back, a friend who was well conversant with the Egyptian style of the dance, called an agent to engage a dancer and a small ensemble for a large fund-raiser.  The agent said exactly the right thing.  Did the party prefer a 'concert' or 'cabaret' performance?  Concert was what was wanted.

The group that arrived was perfect.  It was tasteful and beautiful for all ages although some of the younger members of the audience might have been tempted to  try dancing with swords or a lighted candelabra.




 



 

ladyknight1

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #44 on: August 12, 2013, 05:03:25 PM »
^ I entirely agree, it is a different situation. i just wanted to relate that even with a belly dancing concert style performance, no children were there.