Author Topic: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.  (Read 8875 times)

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Winterlight

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #45 on: August 12, 2013, 07:36:45 PM »
As a bellydancer, I'd see nothing wrong with children in the audience. It's quite usual.

A stripper? Forget it. Especially with my mom there. *cringes*
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LifeOnPluto

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #46 on: August 12, 2013, 11:17:13 PM »
Add me to the list of people who say that having a stripper at a family birthday party sounds hideously inappropriate.

Sammycat, I personally think you would have been fine excusing yourself for the 15 minutes the stripper was there, and helping with the kids (or having a cup of tea in the kitchen, or whatever). And you definitely aren't obliged to help pay for the stripper!

baglady

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #47 on: August 12, 2013, 11:28:27 PM »
Bellydancing is art. Stripping is ... well, stripping.

I have nothing against adult entertainment, but it has its place, and a multigenerational party is not it! If I were the GOH at this party, there's no way I could relax and enjoy the show, wondering if some kid might wander in at an inappropriate moment. Or wondering how uncomfortable it was making Grandma/Grandpa. Adult entertainment is one of those know-your-audience things, and if you haven't vetted the audience on being OK with it, then it is the better part of valor not to do it.
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LeveeWoman

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #48 on: August 12, 2013, 11:31:57 PM »
As a bellydancer, I'd see nothing wrong with children in the audience. It's quite usual.

A stripper? Forget it. Especially with my mom there. *cringes*

But, this is not about your art.

This is about a man who will bump-and-grind his pelvis.


NyaChan

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #49 on: August 13, 2013, 12:05:21 AM »
The potential for this entertainment to cause problems is staggering.  Imagine Jr. wants his mom or dad and escapes the kids room, opens the door and YIKES we've got a grown man exposing himself in front of a minor.  I think this sort of thing is better suited to an adults only party. 

Marbles

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #50 on: August 13, 2013, 12:52:14 AM »
Some friends of mine used to do an annual racy Halloween party that was invite-only and always specified no children on the invitation. Until the last time.

I was going through costume pictures we took at the party and was told that one of the people in the picture was 16. I was livid. The hosts allowed a minor into the party without letting the rest of us know.

To top it off, the hosts hired strippers (a first for them), so the party went from racy to explicit. They held the show downstairs so that those who were not into it could hang out upstairs. (A number of us skipped the show.) Knowing that they had upped the ante in terms of visible flesh, while allowing a minor to join the festivities. The potential repercussions to friends who were teachers and in other positions of trust could have been career-ending. Fortunately, nothing came of it, but no one I know is ever going to one of these again.

m2kbug

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #51 on: August 13, 2013, 04:13:38 AM »
Without reading any other replies...four pages!....my thought is to just leave prior to stripper time.

This really isn't my cup of tea either, even back when I was young and single and childless.  It's just not my "thing," and certainly not my "thing" with children and a husband in tow!  ;D 

Despite the hassle around the transportation of the other kid, I would probably leave anyway and find something to do for an hour, maybe grab some coffee and pie at the local eatery. 

Whatever the venue or entertainment that is being offered, you, as a guest, are being told to cover the cost of the party and the entertainment, and this is wrong.  Add a little insult to injury, this entertainment is not something you or your husband particularly wish to participate in, let alone the kids.  No thank you!

I think I would just say we're going to leave at about 8:45, before the stripper, I hope you all have fun, and leave it at that.  If this $10 is a mandatory contribution, skip the party all together.  "Thank you for the invitation, we are unable to attend."

I realize there is an inconvenience with the kid and his job, but assuming this kid has had this job for awhile now, it's not a very new inconvenience, but rather normal and expected.  It would be  nice if you could hang out with your friends/family while you wait at the same time, but it's just not going to work out that way this time.  If the host puts pressure on you to pay up, then you need to politely decline, and go about life and transportation as you normally would.

Bijou

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #52 on: August 13, 2013, 04:12:50 PM »
If someone surprised me with a male stripper at a party honoring me, and there were kids in the house, no matter which room, I would stop him in his tracks, thank him for coming, tell him the better gift would be for him to just join the party as a guest and forget the stripping.   
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #53 on: August 13, 2013, 05:49:28 PM »
As a bellydancer, I'd see nothing wrong with children in the audience. It's quite usual.

A stripper? Forget it. Especially with my mom there. *cringes*

But, this is not about your art.

This is about a man who will bump-and-grind his pelvis.

I believe that's what she meant, that there IS a difference between bellydancing and stripping.

Amusingly enough though, once I was doing some bellydancing as exercise (and for fun) and my middle child told me "Mom, it is unappropriate for you to dance like that!!!" I wasn't even wearing anything revealing, just a t-shirt and a skirt.
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squeakers

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #54 on: August 13, 2013, 10:55:59 PM »
If you are uncomfortable with the schedule of events you decline the event.  If you have already RSVPd "yes" and then found out about something that you find offensive was planned.. well, the event was changed and you can say "no, not what I said "yes" to, sorry." In your case you were forewarned so leaving before the "fun" starts is just one of those things that happens during a long party.

I wonder if the stripper will be going completely nude or if it's a "for fun" kind like a clown stripping to funny undies and and clown shoes. Or basically seeing someone dancing in a swimming suit.

The odds of the kids staying out of wherever the entertainment is going to happen goes down the more kids involved.  But one can hope that whatever they see doesn't scar them for life. Me seeing a stripper bumping on any of my relatives could do that to me right now (not counting my husband because BTDT and it was for his birthday and at a strip club.)
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johelenc1

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #55 on: August 15, 2013, 01:26:05 AM »
When is this party?  I can't wait to hear how this turns out.  OP - be sure to at least follow up with the people who do stay at the party to find out what happened!

LibraryLady

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #56 on: August 15, 2013, 10:50:52 AM »
A short digression:

For my husband's 40th  - his co-workers had a belly-dancer come to his office to dance for his birthday.  His face was as red as her scarves.  To top it off, she was the wife of a VP for Tom Brown Drilling (well known company in Midland at the time) and we knew her.  It was pretty funny but Joe nearly killed me for suggesting it  >:D

sammycat

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #57 on: August 15, 2013, 10:24:07 PM »
When is this party?  I can't wait to hear how this turns out.  OP - be sure to at least follow up with the people who do stay at the party to find out what happened!

The party is this Saturday night/tomorrow.

I'll definitely post an update, although unless the birthday girl, her DH or our mutual friends (assuming they are invited) post some photos or comments to facebook, I'll likely not know the outcome.

CocoCamm

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #58 on: August 15, 2013, 10:32:37 PM »
Something tells me this party will be quite a hot topic of discussion amongst the guests for some time :)

Oh Joy

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Re: I don't want to see the stripper, thank you.
« Reply #59 on: August 16, 2013, 04:13:59 AM »
As a bellydancer, I'd see nothing wrong with children in the audience. It's quite usual.

A stripper? Forget it. Especially with my mom there. *cringes*

But, this is not about your art.

This is about a man who will bump-and-grind his pelvis.

I believe Winterlight was adding to the discussion in earlier posts where others were contrasting these types of performances.