When to Step Back from a Friendship

[PastryGoddess]

^ Probably what I am going to do.

I knew he was getting a bit fanatical when every meal time was accompanied by a picture of whatever meal replacement item he was having and raving comments about it, but I didn't realize he was selling the product and recruiting until this week.

I use the browser extension Social Fixer http://socialfixer.com/.  It will put a wrench icon up at the top left of your facebook page.  About 3/4 down the settings bar is a filtering section.  I have it set to filter both pages and profiles.  It is set to filter posts with specific words under the OTHER tab.  It is a blanket filter that covers all of my friends.  However, you can set it to only filter specific people and/or apps.

It's definitely kept some friendships intact over the past couple of years

[ladyknight1]

Well, the plot thickens.

Apparently, this new product is so amazing that 5 facebook contacts are selling it. The original couple, another couple (completely separate), and a single friend. The posts have increased with the original couple, now both are posting how amazing product is and I ended up hiding them from my feed.

Now I am getting private messages from all five of these people. I responded that I am not interested.

What bothers me is that these messages are originating from their personal account, and these messages are all the same. I am beginning to think that this company gives their representatives marketing information to copy and paste.

[Cami]

Well, the plot thickens.

Apparently, this new product is so amazing that 5 facebook contacts are selling it. The original couple, another couple (completely separate), and a single friend. The posts have increased with the original couple, now both are posting how amazing product is and I ended up hiding them from my feed.

Now I am getting private messages from all five of these people. I responded that I am not interested.

What bothers me is that these messages are originating from their personal account, and these messages are all the same. I am beginning to think that this company gives their representatives marketing information to copy and paste.

Is it woth using the "don't want to see" button to report them as spam?

[MorgnsGrl]

He's replaced one addiction (eating) with another (this diet).

I'm uncomfortable with this assumption. Eating is not an addiction, it's a requirement for living creatures.

[Goosey]

He's replaced one addiction (eating) with another (this diet).

I'm uncomfortable with this assumption. Eating is not an addiction, it's a requirement for living creatures.

Eating CAN be an addiction and is for many people. I was deducing from a pattern of behavior (obsessively pimping this diet). But it's true that my assessment of his previous relationship with food may be inaccurate.

[veronaz]

Eating CAN be an addiction and is for many people.

True.  Food adiction is sometimes called compulsive overeating.  There is even a support group - Overeater's Anonymous - that has been around a long time.

[ladyknight1]

Well, the plot thickens.

Apparently, this new product is so amazing that 5 facebook contacts are selling it. The original couple, another couple (completely separate), and a single friend. The posts have increased with the original couple, now both are posting how amazing product is and I ended up hiding them from my feed.

Now I am getting private messages from all five of these people. I responded that I am not interested.

What bothers me is that these messages are originating from their personal account, and these messages are all the same. I am beginning to think that this company gives their representatives marketing information to copy and paste.

Is it woth using the "don't want to see" button to report them as spam?

I have checked to see if a personal account can be used for business, and there is a reporting function, but I haven't taken it to that extreme yet.

[m2kbug]

Originally I was just going to say to hide their posts over unfriending.  Now you're getting emails.  I would just hide their posts, and write back and ask to please remove me from any contact list about this product.  I am not interested in purchasing any, but I'll keep you in mind.  After that, unfriend and be prepared to explain why.  If something like this could ruffle feathers and create rift, either ignore the posts or email, or accept the fact this friendship might just spiral out for unfriending them.  They're the one that created the problem, but you're probably going to be the bad guy.  Hopefully this is just a phase that will stop.  Hopefully other people are also mentioning they don't appreciate the spam on their FB.  Perhaps you would just like to wait it out for now.

[squeakers]

I wonder if your friends have been hijacked? http://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/2012/01/31/hcg-diet-spam-attack-hits-facebook-users-spreads-rapidly/

ETA: the comments tell people how to get rid of a rogue app if that is what has happened.

[ladyknight1]

This is a specific MLM weight loss and performance product company. What I did last night was post on my wall that I would be hiding posts from contacts that were repeatedly posting about whatever product. I am not on facebook to be a marketing target or a customer.

I received two messages from one of the couples that they were just trying to supplement their income and they would not bother me again. I replied back that I hope selling this product works out for them. DH (who knew them both first) is tired of the marketing too. He reminded me that couple only contacts us when they want something and now they want to sell this product.

[Raintree]

I am opposed to constant sales tactics from people who are supposed to be friends, but I also understand that he may be wrapped up in the hype generated by the organization.

Or he's spent a significant chunk of money on product and he's desperate to recoup his loss after discovering that no, "all his friends and family" are NOT eager to become his regular customers, contrary to what the company told him.

As for private messages about products, I generally just ignore those. If it's from someone who was otherwise a good, real-life friend, I'd probably give them one "not interested, but good luck!" response.

[WestAussieGirl]

I would definitely take one giant step back. I've had a number of family and friends get involved with various MLM schemes and there is no getting through to them. You just have to wait it out. Eventually the shine wears off and you get your friend back.

It sounds like you are doing all the right things but I'd expect it to continue for a while yet.

[joraemi]

I was wondering if it is e-hell approved to post something on Friend's wall to the effect of:

Hey Friend!  This product must *really* be great!  Your posts about it are outnumbering posts about your family 4 to 1!  Glad it's working for you.

(Or whatever number...)

I can't decide if that's PA or not...

[dlws92]

I was wondering if it is e-hell approved to post something on Friend's wall to the effect of:

Hey Friend!  This product must *really* be great!  Your posts about it are outnumbering posts about your family 4 to 1!  Glad it's working for you.

I don't know if it is PA but it does come across as an internet foul.  Taking the issue to their public FB page instead of just sending a private message is a bit like going to a party at their house and calling them out on it in front of their friends.   I really like what the OP did about posting on HER FB page that she was going to hide the feeds of over enthusiastic sales people.  I think I'm going to hijack that method to deal with people in my newsfeed constantly arguing politics.

[ladyknight1]

It has helped, I have been unfriended by one of the 5 people. Oh, well!