Author Topic: Getting what you want through annoyance  (Read 13398 times)

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kherbert05

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Re: Getting what you want through annoyance
« Reply #75 on: August 16, 2013, 06:32:59 AM »
No, no, no--you guys need to go read the article first.

This isn't about hovering so close that you're actively annoying people.

Here's a description:
Quote
“The body language of the Kindly Brontosaurus is respectful and nonthreatening,” she says. “There’s a humility, so you allow the other person to feel empowered. Since you’ve made them feel like king of the jungle, they’re more receptive to you.”


The technique:
Quote
you nod empathically, say something like “Well, I’m sure we can find a way to work this out,” and step just to the side of the agent’s kiosk.

Here is where the Kindly Brontosaurus rears amiably into the frame. You must stand quietly and lean forward slightly, hands loosely clasped in a faintly prayerful arrangement. You will be in the gate agent’s peripheral vision—close enough that he can’t escape your presence, not so close that you’re crowding him—but you must keep your eyes fixed placidly on the agent’s face at all times. Assemble your features in an understanding, even beatific expression. Do not speak unless asked a question. Whenever the gate agent says anything, whether to you or other would-be passengers, you must nod empathically.


Go read the article. THEN criticize it.
I read the article - the author is no better than a thief. She admits to being an unethical ss who steals services.


Quote
The Kindly Brontosaurus once shepherded me past a power-crazed downtown Manhattan bouncer into a Go-Betweens concert in 2001, a feat that was all the more remarkable considering I didn’t have a ticket.[/size] The Kindly Brontosaurus once coaxed a formidable guard at the Hermitage in Saint Petersburg to allow a friend and me into a closed area of the museum. The Kindly Brontosaurus once politely ushered me past a queue of about 1,000 people to get into a sardine-packed celebrity reading at the Union Square Barnes and Noble.


I'm with the posters that say people doing this should get 1 warning to go sit down and  wait their turn. If they don't - they should be escorted off the property by security and banned. If something like the incidents in the quote happen the "Artist" should be banned and the employee fired. For the concert she should have been arrested for theft of services if possible. For the Hermitage - arrested on suspicion that she and her friend were casing the museum some time in a Russian lock up would have probably cured her of this annoying rude behavior.

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shhh its me

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Re: Getting what you want through annoyance
« Reply #76 on: August 16, 2013, 07:46:03 AM »
Who has that kind of time - to just stand there and stare at someone?

   I think I would break out in laughter at someone doing this.  but it would be kinda creepy.

A person at an airport waiting on standby :)

I don't think the body language author suggests will get people on her side but it will keep "gatekeepers" from feeling threatened, harassed, antagonized, or otherwise feel the need to have her removed. It will make them uncomfortable though.   

ettiquit

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Re: Getting what you want through annoyance
« Reply #77 on: August 16, 2013, 08:15:59 AM »
Sadly, I looked at the picture and all I could see was some of the creatures in the The Dark CrystalSkeksis.

This is perfect.

mrs_deb

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Re: Getting what you want through annoyance
« Reply #78 on: August 16, 2013, 09:55:41 AM »
However, I don't think the behavior is at all threatening, just annoying.  Standing to the side silently is not a threat.  I think calling security because someone is standing close by would be quite an overreaction.  I also don't think that I am obligated to sit down just because some airline employee tells me to.  They do not have any authority as to whether I sit or stand.  I am not talking about TSA, I'm talking about random airline employees.  They do not get to tell me what to do, other than "please step aside so I can help the next customer".  That is ok.  Telling me that I need to sit, no.  I will sit if I feel like it, or I will walk around, use the restroom, or grab a bagel.  I am in NO WAY obligated to "obey" them.  They don't have that kind of authority.

No offense, you are incorrect. If you are acting squirrely, they are supposed to call airport security or the police and not just suck it up "because you don't have any authority." If you can't understand and obey "please sit down" (read "please calm down and go do something constructive elsewhere"), you (general you) aren't likely to obey safety instructions once up in the air either.

Miranova is right.  You do not have to "obey" the gate agent and "go sit down" somewhere.  And not doing so does not mean you are acting squirreley.  And considering what we are talking about, I don't understand why you would think something would translate to "calm down." The basic nature if what is being talked in the article is to be very calm.

...

You may not like the technique in the article but an arguing that passengers have to obey gate agents isn't true.  And, not going and sitting down is not rude.  One still has a few freedoms left in airports.

Yeah, very few :-).  I'm on Team TeamBhakta here - airport employees will call Security on your dupa pretty darn fast these days if you don't do what they want.  Not saying it's right, just saying it's true in my experience.

Not that they've called Security on me!  Let me be clear about that!  I've just seen it happen.

MrTango

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Re: Getting what you want through annoyance
« Reply #79 on: August 16, 2013, 10:13:15 AM »
However, I don't think the behavior is at all threatening, just annoying.  Standing to the side silently is not a threat.  I think calling security because someone is standing close by would be quite an overreaction.  I also don't think that I am obligated to sit down just because some airline employee tells me to.  They do not have any authority as to whether I sit or stand.  I am not talking about TSA, I'm talking about random airline employees.  They do not get to tell me what to do, other than "please step aside so I can help the next customer".  That is ok.  Telling me that I need to sit, no.  I will sit if I feel like it, or I will walk around, use the restroom, or grab a bagel.  I am in NO WAY obligated to "obey" them.  They don't have that kind of authority.

No offense, you are incorrect. If you are acting squirrely, they are supposed to call airport security or the police and not just suck it up "because you don't have any authority." If you can't understand and obey "please sit down" (read "please calm down and go do something constructive elsewhere"), you (general you) aren't likely to obey safety instructions once up in the air either.

Miranova is right.  You do not have to "obey" the gate agent and "go sit down" somewhere.  And not doing so does not mean you are acting squirreley.  And considering what we are talking about, I don't understand why you would think something would translate to "calm down." The basic nature if what is being talked in the article is to be very calm.

...

You may not like the technique in the article but an arguing that passengers have to obey gate agents isn't true.  And, not going and sitting down is not rude.  One still has a few freedoms left in airports.

Yeah, very few :-).  I'm on Team TeamBhakta here - airport employees will call Security on your dupa pretty darn fast these days if you don't do what they want.  Not saying it's right, just saying it's true in my experience.

Not that they've called Security on me!  Let me be clear about that!  I've just seen it happen.

Agreed.  If I were a ticket agent at an airport and a customer was hanging around close enough to observe others' transactions, I would see that behavior as suspicious enough to warrant a call to security.  (It doesn't matter what her intent is, either.  Security or Airport Police can determine her intent after they've removed her from the situation.)

Zizi-K

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Re: Getting what you want through annoyance
« Reply #80 on: August 16, 2013, 10:13:22 AM »
I inadvertently did a version of the "kindly brontosaurus" about 10 years ago. I was in my very early twenties, and about to go on my first trip abroad. The trip had two parts - first to one European country to visit a friend doing a study abroad, and then on a visit to a second European country to visit family. My immediate family was going to fly and meet me in the second country. Literally two days before my departure, my mom dug out my passport and we realized that it had expired. The closest place to get it renewed was at a major city 5 hours drive away. So my dad and I packed up and left super early in the morning, and went to try and renew it. We got there as soon as it opened (just!), submitted the materials and were sent to a room to wait. And wait. And wait. There was a woman behind bullet-proof glass, and when I got there I explained to her how this was an emergency for me, and any help she could give me was super appreciated, etc. Then I sat down. But I was wracked with anxiety, desperately hoping this woman would help me. I didn't do this consciously, but I kept my eyes on her the whole time and probably had my hands in a "prayerful" or "supplicant" gesture - because I was praying that every minute my passport would appear! Finally, I think she got a bit fed up with me (even though I was sitting across the room and on the other side of the glass), and she said "Oh, OK, I'll just go down and see if its ready." She came back, and it was!

Then, I literally had to race to the airport in major city, hop on a flight back to my home city airport, and then immediately get on the plane to my first European destination (just squeaked by before the boarding gates closed). If she hadn't given me my passport at that very moment, it all really wouldn't have happened.

So - my takeaway is that the kindly brontosaurus *might* be useful in those cases when the person really *does* have it in their power to help you, but they deal with so many people there is really no good reason why they should help you over other people. I don't think I could consciously choose to do it - my personality and demeanor probably wouldn't allow that unless I really was desperate and needed help.

jaxsue

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Re: Getting what you want through annoyance
« Reply #81 on: August 16, 2013, 12:01:20 PM »
Looking at this picture in the article, this whole posture thing the one woman is doing doesn't really help my opinion of it.

There's just something unnerving about someone staring at you like this:



It's like trying to achieve the Jedi mind trick without actually waving one's hand.

Just looking at that picture is annoying! Seriously, if someone looked at me like that I'd be very unhappy with them. And they wouldn't get what they wanted!

jaxsue

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Re: Getting what you want through annoyance
« Reply #82 on: August 16, 2013, 12:03:33 PM »
Looking at this picture in the article, this whole posture thing the one woman is doing doesn't really help my opinion of it.

There's just something unnerving about someone staring at you like this:

She looks like one of those customers who'll walk away later and loudly say "Female dog...."  :P

She looks slightly deranged.

ITA!  :)

Allyson

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Re: Getting what you want through annoyance
« Reply #83 on: August 16, 2013, 12:05:13 PM »
Now I"m imagining this conversation happening, if she does this at the expense of other people.

"Sorry, I know that you were entitled to the special pass. But, somebody came by, and acted just like a herbivorous dinosaur! What was I supposed to do? I had to give it to them!"

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Getting what you want through annoyance
« Reply #84 on: August 16, 2013, 12:14:03 PM »
Now I look it again, the woman in that pose also looks somewhat patronizing.
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Layla Miller

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Re: Getting what you want through annoyance
« Reply #85 on: August 16, 2013, 12:16:58 PM »
What if this idea catches on on a large scale?  I just had this horrible image of an entire herd of kindly brontosauruses (brontosauri?) standing creepily in front of a desk.  It'll be like the children of the corn or something.  Eek.
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Coralreef

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Re: Getting what you want through annoyance
« Reply #86 on: August 16, 2013, 01:19:47 PM »
What if this idea catches on on a large scale?  I just had this horrible image of an entire herd of kindly brontosauruses (brontosauri?) standing creepily in front of a desk.  It'll be like the children of the corn or something.  Eek.

LOL.... ;D  Good one.

Especially creepy if at close range.  If the dinosaur is standing 2 feet away from the ticket agent (since we're at the airport) and being in the way of other travellers, yeah, a visit to the security office will be in its future.


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Yarnspinner

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Re: Getting what you want through annoyance
« Reply #87 on: August 16, 2013, 01:24:51 PM »
Who has that kind of time - to just stand there and stare at someone?

   I think I would break out in laughter at someone doing this.  but it would be kinda creepy.

I wondered that, too, especially when some of these "Kindly Brontosaurs" clearly believe their time is more important than anyone else's.

darkprincess

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Re: Getting what you want through annoyance
« Reply #88 on: August 16, 2013, 02:03:19 PM »
I have had people do this to me. I work in a location that has security issues, less than an airport but still taken seriously. At least three times a year my workplace gets put on lockdown.

We are told that if someone is making us feel uncomfortable we are to call security. It is important to be safe. When people do this I feel very uncomfortable. I also suggest that they have a seat and I will help them when and if I can. I have had to ask people to please step back because they are too close and should not be able to see what is on my computer screen. When they are to the side of my desk they are blocking my exit which makes me trapped. If I am on the phone and they are that close they are overhearing my phone conversations, which is not o.k.. The article suggests that they should nod their head in agreement to what I say. When they do this I know that they are listening to my conversations. Most people who start to do this will sit down when I ask them. The people who don't, end up having a conversation with security. Sometimes the security person who shows up is a police officer. They are then escorted out of my office.

The problem with this technique is that while they do not have to sit down or even leave, standing to the side of desk, purposely listening and overhearing conversations, and staring at someone is intimidating. If your worksite has to be prepared for bomb threats, shooters, civil disobediance, or is a healthcare site and has to protect the patients information than a kindly dinosaur may seem very suspicous and may result in a less than desired outcome.

BeagleMommy

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Re: Getting what you want through annoyance
« Reply #89 on: August 16, 2013, 03:29:12 PM »
I'm reminded of Gru's words.  "The appearance of the please makes no difference."

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