Author Topic: The "Flat" Baby shower  (Read 4870 times)

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Katana_Geldar

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Re: The "Flat" Baby shower
« Reply #15 on: August 16, 2013, 05:15:21 PM »
I think this is a great idea. A lot of registries have shipping options too so you only get one delivery. It is extra, but not as much as postage. When we arrived back from our honeymoon we got a nice large pile of presents. :)

camlan

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Re: The "Flat" Baby shower
« Reply #16 on: August 16, 2013, 05:23:58 PM »
I'd expand the "flat" definition. While shipping something ahead of time and putting a picture in an envelope would work, there are a lot of baby gifts that can fit in an envelope. Maybe not a letter-sized envelope, but what about a 9.5"x12.5" manilla envelope?

Things like books or bibs or onesies or other clothing or small blankets or picture frames would all fit.

So like some bridal showers have themes--time of day, kitchen showers, etc.--I'd tell guests that the gift needs to fit into a certain size envelope. I'd make sure they were aware of the option to ship a gift and just slip a picture into the envelope. But I think it would make the shower more fun to see how creative people could be.

And I wouldn't make the shower a surprise, so that the expectant parents could plan ahead and leave a little room in their suitcases for some gifts.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


DottyG

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Re: The "Flat" Baby shower
« Reply #17 on: August 16, 2013, 05:59:02 PM »
I think this is a great idea. A lot of registries have shipping options too so you only get one delivery. It is extra, but not as much as postage.

I didn't know that.  That's a really convenient thing for people.  I'm glad stores have caught on that something like that would be helpful. :)


Poppea

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Re: The "Flat" Baby shower
« Reply #18 on: August 16, 2013, 10:15:38 PM »
First, it means that the attendees will have to spend extra money for shipping.

No they don't.  Most things can be purchased online (and a lot of people do it that way to begin with).  It's just a matter of putting the home address into the shipping info instead of the one where the shower is.  No change in shipping costs.

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Secondly, most of the fun in a shower is the opening of the gifts and looking at them.

That's fun.  But it's also not always practical if it means that a large item has to be dealt with to get it home.  The "flat" aspect of having a picture there allows for the happy couple to open something and see what they got.  But not have to then figure out how to get it home.

I seldom purchase shower presents online.

I "get" that its difficult to ship large items.  I would doubt that most guests would buy large items for this reason.  It just strikes me as dictating to guests what they should buy.  I find it distasteful when I am asked to bring a present and also something else (diapers, a book, whatever).  It just rubs me the wrong way. 

You are free to feel differently, but that doesn't mean this my feelings are wrong.
« Last Edit: August 16, 2013, 10:19:15 PM by Poppea »

snowdragon

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Re: The "Flat" Baby shower
« Reply #19 on: August 16, 2013, 10:18:04 PM »
First, it means that the attendees will have to spend extra money for shipping.

No they don't.  Most things can be purchased online (and a lot of people do it that way to begin with).  It's just a matter of putting the home address into the shipping info instead of the one where the shower is.  No change in shipping costs.

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Secondly, most of the fun in a shower is the opening of the gifts and looking at them.

That's fun.  But it's also not always practical if it means that a large item has to be dealt with to get it home.  The "flat" aspect of having a picture there allows for the happy couple to open something and see what they got.  But not have to then figure out how to get it home.

I seldom purchase shower presents online.

Nor do I - I make mine, for the most part.

Poppea

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Re: The "Flat" Baby shower
« Reply #20 on: August 16, 2013, 10:29:16 PM »
First, it means that the attendees will have to spend extra money for shipping.

No they don't.  Most things can be purchased online (and a lot of people do it that way to begin with).  It's just a matter of putting the home address into the shipping info instead of the one where the shower is.  No change in shipping costs.

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Secondly, most of the fun in a shower is the opening of the gifts and looking at them.

That's fun.  But it's also not always practical if it means that a large item has to be dealt with to get it home.  The "flat" aspect of having a picture there allows for the happy couple to open something and see what they got.  But not have to then figure out how to get it home.

I seldom purchase shower presents online.

Nor do I - I make mine, for the most part.

Right - so you would then have to take pic of gift and then ship it. 

DottyG

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Re: The "Flat" Baby shower
« Reply #21 on: August 16, 2013, 11:50:25 PM »
You are free to feel differently, but that doesn't mean this my feelings are wrong.

Don't recall saying they were.

A discussion does not mean someone is wrong.


DottyG

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Re: The "Flat" Baby shower
« Reply #22 on: August 16, 2013, 11:52:37 PM »
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It just strikes me as dictating to guests what they should buy.  I find it distasteful when I am asked to bring a present and also something else (diapers, a book, whatever).  It just rubs me the wrong way.

I think that's wrong as well. But that's not what I was envisioning the idea to be.


CluelessBride

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Re: The "Flat" Baby shower
« Reply #23 on: August 17, 2013, 12:06:48 AM »
What about just providing the GOH's shipping address with a note that says something like, "If you'd like to ship a gift directly to Jack and Jill, their mailing address is: ________ "  or even possibly "Since Jack and Jill will be traveling to the shower, if you'd like to ship something directly to them their mailing address is:  ________"


That leaves it open for guests to gift what they want, but also reminds them that the couple will be traveling and will need to transport gifts.* Plus, it gives people who want to ship the address. I find that I often don't have addresses for out of town friends because I correspond mostly over phone and email and many of them move around somewhat frequently. I also prefer not to gift something that might be a burden, so I'd want to either get them something small in size or buy something and ship. So I'd consider having the address right there really convenient.

*More than once I've casually mentioned something about shipping vs. bringing a gift for the recipient's convenience to a third party and have had them remark about what a great idea it was and that they'd never considered that. So I'm not sure it is necessarily something that occurs to people unless they know someone who has had difficulty transporting gifts.

Poppea

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Re: The "Flat" Baby shower
« Reply #24 on: August 17, 2013, 12:12:53 AM »
What about just providing the GOH's shipping address with a note that says something like, "If you'd like to ship a gift directly to Jack and Jill, their mailing address is: ________ "  or even possibly "Since Jack and Jill will be traveling to the shower, if you'd like to ship something directly to them their mailing address is:  ________"


That leaves it open for guests to gift what they want, but also reminds them that the couple will be traveling and will need to transport gifts.* Plus, it gives people who want to ship the address. I find that I often don't have addresses for out of town friends because I correspond mostly over phone and email and many of them move around somewhat frequently. I also prefer not to gift something that might be a burden, so I'd want to either get them something small in size or buy something and ship. So I'd consider having the address right there really convenient.

*More than once I've casually mentioned something about shipping vs. bringing a gift for the recipient's convenience to a third party and have had them remark about what a great idea it was and that they'd never considered that. So I'm not sure it is necessarily something that occurs to people unless they know someone who has had difficulty transporting gifts.

This is perfectly polite.

Katana_Geldar

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Re: The "Flat" Baby shower
« Reply #25 on: August 17, 2013, 03:50:22 AM »
First, it means that the attendees will have to spend extra money for shipping.

No they don't.  Most things can be purchased online (and a lot of people do it that way to begin with).  It's just a matter of putting the home address into the shipping info instead of the one where the shower is.  No change in shipping costs.

Quote
Secondly, most of the fun in a shower is the opening of the gifts and looking at them.

That's fun.  But it's also not always practical if it means that a large item has to be dealt with to get it home.  The "flat" aspect of having a picture there allows for the happy couple to open something and see what they got.  But not have to then figure out how to get it home.

I seldom purchase shower presents online.

I "get" that its difficult to ship large items.  I would doubt that most guests would buy large items for this reason.  It just strikes me as dictating to guests what they should buy.  I find it distasteful when I am asked to bring a present and also something else (diapers, a book, whatever).  It just rubs me the wrong way. 

You are free to feel differently, but that doesn't mean this my feelings are wrong.
No one is dictating what to buy, just making it easier for the couple.

m2kbug

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Re: The "Flat" Baby shower
« Reply #26 on: August 17, 2013, 07:54:48 AM »
I feel like this is dictating what or how people are allowed to give as a gift, and I would not be pleased at having to pay for shipping fees.  These people are choosing to have a shower on the other end of the country, and they can figure out how to transport the gifts themselves.  This is not the responsibility of the guests.  They can bring along an empty suitcase. 

Katana_Geldar

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Re: The "Flat" Baby shower
« Reply #27 on: August 17, 2013, 08:16:46 AM »
So...it's considered rude to help a young couple out by shipping gifts to thir home? It's rude to be..helpful?

Poppea

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Re: The "Flat" Baby shower
« Reply #28 on: August 17, 2013, 11:08:17 AM »
Quote
It just strikes me as dictating to guests what they should buy.  I find it distasteful when I am asked to bring a present and also something else (diapers, a book, whatever).  It just rubs me the wrong way.

I think that's wrong as well. But that's not what I was envisioning the idea to be.

Asking someone to also take a picture of the gift and then also pay for shipping is dictating to the guests.  I cannot understand your prior statement that shipping wont cost the guests anything.  If I was planning to buy a gift at a store I would not pay a cent for shipping.  If I ship something I will pay at least $10 extra.

Poppea

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Re: The "Flat" Baby shower
« Reply #29 on: August 17, 2013, 11:14:53 AM »
So...it's considered rude to help a young couple out by shipping gifts to thir home? It's rude to be..helpful?
The OP is not offering to pay for the shipping expenses.  Her mother is wondering if it is rude for her to create the expectation that her other guests must pay for the couples shipping expenses.

Its not rude to help out a couple (OP did not state whether they are young or not).  It IS rude to expect anyone else to pay for others expenses.

Its rude to expect a guest to buy a gift and then ALSO pay for the shipping.  Its expected to bring a gift to a baby shower.  Its is not the norm to also pay for shipping said gift.  Imposing additional expectations on guests is rude. 

ETA - OP I think your concern is whether some guests would find this rude.  The answer is that yes some would.  Other would not.  It might be smart to check with some of your mothers actual friends.  Social norms can vary widely in different communities and among different socioeconomic and ethnic groups. 
« Last Edit: August 17, 2013, 11:18:57 AM by Poppea »