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Author Topic: Sticky Situation Regarding Baby Gift  (Read 5678 times)

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Re: Sticky Situation Regarding Baby Gift
« Reply #15 on: August 15, 2013, 08:02:07 PM »
Well I suggest you keep in mind that this is not a gift just for the wife, it would be for the child and the son as well who you don't mention not liking. I would also remember that the son is just as responsible for not sending you a thank you note after the wedding as his wife is. That said you have no obligation to make them anything. If you want to give a gift, give what you feel comfortable giving whether it is a handmade keepsake or a toy from target.


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Re: Sticky Situation Regarding Baby Gift
« Reply #16 on: August 15, 2013, 08:08:27 PM »
This is a little difficult, because you clearly don't want to put much effort into someone so nasty and who won't appreciate the hard work and attention you put into it.  I think since this has become sort of a tradition, I would lean in the direction of doing the same thing for Son and his new and upcoming arrival.  My motivation would be that if I don't, I could make an already prickly rel@tionship even more prickly, and I also feel like in not providing the same type of gift is punishing the baby for something they have no control over.

You're itching to use up some fabric.  I would maybe just work a easier and faster pattern.  I might not put the same level of time and effort into it, but I think I would try to keep it even-stevens.  I would hope Son would appreciate this gift, and later on in life, the baby has a handmade blanket by Aunti Stoutgirl like his cousins have. 

This would be the last time I would probably go to any lengths to do anything really super nice for this woman. I don't think you are under any obligation either.  You certainly don't want to put your heart and soul into something that will be unappreciated, but I think I would probably stick to the tradition I have created.  Perhaps present this gift to Son alone, or maybe the grandparents or one of the sisters could hang onto this gift until the child is older and then hand it over. 


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Re: Sticky Situation Regarding Baby Gift
« Reply #17 on: August 16, 2013, 05:43:50 PM »
I would try to focus on the dad and the baby to be and make a lovely gift.
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.


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Re: Sticky Situation Regarding Baby Gift
« Reply #18 on: August 17, 2013, 12:40:17 PM »
I've changed my mind about 3 times reading through the comments.  But I also have a question.  OP, you said you made nice gifts for "their firstborns".  Do the daughters each have one child, or has there been another?  If so, did you give anything homemade for a second child?   If not, would you plan to make something for any new kids?

I'm asking because if this is about giving a homemade gift just to the firstborn, I'd suck it up, forget the rudeness of them not thanking you, and make something.  However, if you've set a pattern with the others, or plan to, it might make more sense to opt out of that now.  I wouldn't want to set myself up to keep going through this for people who wouldn't use the items or don't appreciate them.  And I'm sure you could find something nice they'd use, like an engraved spoon, etc.


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Re: Sticky Situation Regarding Baby Gift
« Reply #19 on: August 17, 2013, 12:49:01 PM »
They (husband AND wife) didn't acknowledge or thank you for the wedding gift?  That would cross them off of my gift giving list for the future.  So I think you would be absolutely fine not giving them anything.

If you can't go that far, then I would buy them a generic, non-meaningful gift from a store.  I wouldn't put much thought into it, like maybe some diapers or onesies.  That way, when they don't THANK you for the gift, you won't have invested much in it so maybe you won't be as hurt.


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Re: Sticky Situation Regarding Baby Gift
« Reply #20 on: August 17, 2013, 12:52:27 PM »
However, we did not receive one for the handmade wedding gift and we have never seen it displayed at their house.

They aren't into hand made. Just get something from the registry and don't worry about it.

If you do make something, give it with the expectation that you may never see it used. (I rarely used the decorative blankets I received. I used the heck out of the more simply made and sturdy one which my Mom specified was to be put on the floor as a play space  :) )


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Re: Sticky Situation Regarding Baby Gift
« Reply #21 on: August 21, 2013, 02:29:54 PM »
Thank you everyone for the responses.  To respond to the question of if only firstborns got a gift, yes only the firstborn. 

Something that I forgot to mention regarding the wedding gift, I didn't make it but my Mom did and it was from all of us.  There were over 400 people invited to the wedding, so there is bound to be a few forgotten thank yous.  That is what I am hoping what happened, though I have my doubts.  My Mom is still upset about it.

It looks like the vote goes to making a gift, but not with a lot of time or emotional value.  I think that is what I will be doing, for the sake of the friendship.  I liked how it was mentioned that this gift can be considered an "investment" in the friendship.  But this is the only gift they will receive from me.  I think afterwards, I will make a blanket that is more time consuming and donate it to a children's hospital where it is more needed and appreciated.  Thanks again everyone!


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Re: Sticky Situation Regarding Baby Gift
« Reply #22 on: August 21, 2013, 05:20:02 PM »
If there were 400 guests at their wedding it's a bit uneasonable to think that every sinle gift they received would be loved/displayed/used all the time. Their taste may just not tend towards homemade quilts. That's OK. Not writing a thank-you is not OK of course.

I wouldn't make a second hand-made quilt, if they don't seem to like the first one. Buy something if you want to, and be done with it. Don't make something and resent every second you spend doing it. That won't make you feel any better about this family.