Author Topic: Using food for designated purpose  (Read 5052 times)

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CocoCamm

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Re: Using food for designated purpose
« Reply #15 on: August 15, 2013, 04:53:09 PM »
Definitely bring this up with someone in charge. In the meantime stop contributing as the folks who you are trying to help aren't even reaping the benefit.

And you are not being petty, not by a long shot. The only one's being petty are the people who are being snotty about your contributions.

Knitterly

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Re: Using food for designated purpose
« Reply #16 on: August 15, 2013, 04:55:03 PM »
Try buying the cookies and putting them on your own platter so they look homemade.  ;)

Or just stop contributing, but please tell the pastor why.  Someone may need to step in and deal with this snobbishness.

nolechica

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Re: Using food for designated purpose
« Reply #17 on: August 15, 2013, 04:56:47 PM »
You might also want to get a consensus from the working group on this, not just your personal decision. 

CocoCamm

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Re: Using food for designated purpose
« Reply #18 on: August 15, 2013, 05:18:51 PM »
Try buying the cookies and putting them on your own platter so they look homemade.  ;)

Or just stop contributing, but please tell the pastor why.  Someone may need to step in and deal with this snobbishness.

I can't remember what show it's from but I distinctly remember a scene where a female was scraping off the top of an oreo so she could pass it as homemade  ;D

*inviteseller

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Re: Using food for designated purpose
« Reply #19 on: August 15, 2013, 05:50:01 PM »
I had the thought of packing up store bought cookies like they were home baked too..but that seems dishonest for a church thing  :).   I would stop sending anything in as it is obvious the people who aren't working are into playing little PA games about home baked vs store baked.   We had a thread a few months ago about church committee ladies who were rigid about what was right and if you didn't follow their rules, well you just weren't good enough for them.  I would speak to the pastor too..even organize a group of the snubbed ones for this meeting.  When these little power games are allowed to go on, it destroys the church.

magician5

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Re: Using food for designated purpose
« Reply #20 on: August 15, 2013, 05:57:46 PM »
It's not about "good enough", it's about power. This sort of thing plays out in many churches within altar guilds, women's circles, etc. And it is seen outside church in everything from book clubs to homeowner's associations.

Many of the suggestions above are good ... if it happened to me, I'd opt for stopping my contributions, and letting the pastor know that some members of the group had edged you out. You can't be the only person this has happened to.
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AzaleaBloom

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Re: Using food for designated purpose
« Reply #21 on: August 15, 2013, 06:29:53 PM »
Thanks, all, for your advice.  :)

Sadly, this topic has been discussed to death in the group.  (no pun intended!)  The associate pastor is generally present at all meetings, and she saw no issue of store-bought goods.

It's one of those things where it's not like we're told to our faces "No, your food isn't good enough."  It's more like "Oh, gee, we just didn't have room for your contribution!"  I think the reason they only want home-baked food is because there's a mentality of "if you just buy it from the store, you really don't care."  Which makes no sense to me, because I know people who do buy store bought food because they care too much to subject people to their cooking.   ;D 

As far as bringing something like fruit, we used to do that sort of thing.  The problem was that it got to the point where the group was starting to be expected to provide entire lunches or to serve large meals provided by caterers.  Again, going back to the "work" and "doesn't work" thing, it got to the point where it was the same people having to provide or serve these huge meals, and they, understandably, got tired of it.  So, it was decided (after a LONG discussion) that we would only provide very light refreshments, and we're very clear as to what they will be.  Obviously the family can have a reception hosted by another group (such as if the person belonged to a circle) or hire a caterer who serves, but if they ask us to do the reception, it's supposed to be very low key.

Anyway, thanks again!  I'm glad to know I'm not just being petty.  In the future, if I cannot attend the service (and thus make sure my food is put out), I will not contribute food.  Clearly they have more than enough and do not require my donations.

gmatoy

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Re: Using food for designated purpose
« Reply #22 on: August 15, 2013, 06:50:06 PM »
I would stop contributing.  If it were the "leftovers" from the service that went to the Fellowship hour, I don't think I would object.  But your whole contribution, because it doesn't meet some arbitrary standard of excellence?  Full stop. 

And who can say that store bought is less that homemade?  If I judge by one sister's cooking skills, you're better off shopping in the dogfood aisle.

I know people who will not not eat homemade food because they do not know the condition of the kitchen in which it was prepared. You might want to point that out the next time you drop off the food.

Yvaine

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Re: Using food for designated purpose
« Reply #23 on: August 15, 2013, 07:19:46 PM »
because I know people who do buy store bought food because they care too much to subject people to their cooking.   ;D 
[/quote

We've met?  ;D

VorFemme

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Re: Using food for designated purpose
« Reply #24 on: August 15, 2013, 07:46:04 PM »
I've run into good cooks and I've run into people who could pour a glass of ice water (using a bag of ice from the store and bottled water) and it would be undrinkable.  I'm still not sure how they did it....it's not like they poured chopped raw onion out of the glass before putting ice and water in it....and I saw them wash their hands.....

I can only conclude that they either didn't run the dishwasher that they got the glass out of - so it was dirty, they had stopped it before it finished the rinse cycle so the glass had a film of detergent & bleach on it, or they hadn't washed their hands & I was tasting something that they'd handled in the kitchen a few minutes earlier.



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shhh its me

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Re: Using food for designated purpose
« Reply #25 on: August 15, 2013, 07:50:06 PM »
I've run into good cooks and I've run into people who could pour a glass of ice water (using a bag of ice from the store and bottled water) and it would be undrinkable.  I'm still not sure how they did it....it's not like they poured chopped raw onion out of the glass before putting ice and water in it....and I saw them wash their hands.....

I can only conclude that they either didn't run the dishwasher that they got the glass out of - so it was dirty, they had stopped it before it finished the rinse cycle so the glass had a film of detergent & bleach on it, or they hadn't washed their hands & I was tasting something that they'd handled in the kitchen a few minutes earlier.

I have a foaming hand soap that really sticks to my hands , after washing my hand and rinsing I picked up a bit of mushroom to nibble on it overwhelming tasted of soap.  I discovered I had to rinse my hand for minutes to handle food if I used this soap. 

Softly Spoken

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Re: Using food for designated purpose
« Reply #26 on: August 15, 2013, 08:05:02 PM »
Even if one of the working people were a gourmet cook they shouldn't feel obligated to make something from scratch and not doing so doesn't make them a bad/uncaring person. You do/give what you can.

This actually reminds me a little of the "it's not like it's work" thread - no one has any idea what someone else's life is like and should make no assumptions or judgements about their time, money, priorities, energy, competence, etc.

No one should dictate anyone else's charity.

OP, the people in your group should not be weighing and measuring the value of each other's generosity, that is the antithesis of the care and goodwill your group is supposed to be providing to the community. >:(

...that is what Good Softly feels on the matter. Evil Softly suggests that for the next event you offer to contribute scratch bakery ingredients to those sanctimonious members with more time on their hands and let them show off their supposedly morally superior baking skills. But I'm afraid that would be rather PA/rude and quite impious...  >:D
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DottyG

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Re: Using food for designated purpose
« Reply #27 on: August 15, 2013, 08:36:23 PM »
The associate pastor is generally present at all meetings, and she saw no issue of store-bought goods.

Then she needs to step up and do her job in overseeing the church.  It's her job to explain to these people that they don't rule the roost and that they need to stop turning away the efforts of volunteers who are trying to help - otherwise, they're going to find that they're the only ones doing all the work.  And they're not going to like that.

An associate pastor is not there to just sit there in the background.  They are supposed to be there representing the church and helping the church function smoothly.


shhh its me

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Re: Using food for designated purpose
« Reply #28 on: August 15, 2013, 08:41:34 PM »
The associate pastor is generally present at all meetings, and she saw no issue of store-bought goods.

Then she needs to step up and do her job in overseeing the church.  It's her job to explain to these people that they don't rule the roost and that they need to stop turning away the efforts of volunteers who are trying to help - otherwise, they're going to find that they're the only ones doing all the work.  And they're not going to like that.

An associate pastor is not there to just sit there in the background.  They are supposed to be there representing the church and helping the church function smoothly.

I think the pastor needs to be made aware.  No one is coming out and saying "these weren't homemade s we didn't use them" . They are saying "oh, look leftovers these came be used for the fellowship tomorrow"  ITs not unreasonable that the pastors don't know its the same people whose contributions are not even being offered at the wake , its always the store bought contributions that are "left over".   I think OP can bring it up at the next meeting while the pastor is there " there seems to be an overabundance of..." 
« Last Edit: August 15, 2013, 08:59:49 PM by Merry Mrs Martin »

baglady

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Re: Using food for designated purpose
« Reply #29 on: August 15, 2013, 08:58:39 PM »
I wouldn't ask for your contribution back. I would just stop contributing.
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