Maybe there's just too much food at the funeral gatherings. I'm not defending the Home Cooking Goddesses, but since they're the ones present at the events and the ones setting out the food, it's understandable that they put out their own food first, and then perishable food.
Would it be possible for the Working Women to make their contributions to other events, such as the Fellowship, instead of the funeral buffet? It wouldn't be a distinction based on judgement, but one based on practicality. Equal but separate, and it eliminates the potential for feeling judged and excluded.