Author Topic: The Letters  (Read 2529 times)

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pinkflamingo

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The Letters
« on: August 16, 2013, 05:26:19 PM »
I just became aware of this situation involving two friends, we'll call them Simon and River because, why not?

Once upon a time, Simon became very upset with River and sent her a letter detailing her flaws and giving suggestions as to how she might improve her life and behavior. Understandably, this ended what had once had been a close friendship, although it was growing more distant before the time the letter was sent.

Fast forward to a year later--Simon sends River another letter apologizing for his cruel words but reiterates that he does not wish a friendship.

I have two questions:

1. If you were Simon, would you have sent the apology letter? (I know you all are too polite to have sent the first letter, but for the sake of argument, let's assume you did.)

2. If you were River, how would you respond to the apology letter?

Amara

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Re: The Letters
« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2013, 05:28:26 PM »
1. That was not an apology letter. That was a "toss my rejection in your face again" letter. He was rude.

2. I wouldn't. Who wants to be friends with a lout?

MrTango

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Re: The Letters
« Reply #2 on: August 16, 2013, 05:30:02 PM »
1) You answered your own question, but even if I was just thinking of the practicality of the situation without giving a thought to politeness: I most likely wouldn't send it.  I'd be more likely to simply walk away and not contact the other person again.  In fact, I'd assume that cutting myself off from them would be less painful for them than opening up old wounds.

2) The letter would end up in the trash bin and that would be the end of it.  I wouldn't send any response.

Twik

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Re: The Letters
« Reply #3 on: August 16, 2013, 05:40:45 PM »
That was not an apology, it was a "didn't you hear me? I'm not going to be your friend! Let me know how much this hurts you!" letter.
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Tea Drinker

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Re: The Letters
« Reply #4 on: August 16, 2013, 05:44:36 PM »
Either ignore the second letter, or reply with "Do not contact me again. If you do, I will consider it harassment and take appropriate action." Both because I wouldn't want further contact, and because it makes clear that she's not waiting for this clown to see the error of his ways/forgive her/change his so-called mind.
Any advice that requires the use of a time machine may safely be ignored.

DottyG

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Re: The Letters
« Reply #5 on: August 16, 2013, 06:02:06 PM »
1)  No

2)  Inwardly roll my eyes and think, "Ah, but Simon, you don't understand!  You wanted me to improve my life.  And I did by distancing myself from someone that was bringing me down."


veronaz

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Re: The Letters
« Reply #6 on: August 16, 2013, 06:15:21 PM »
Ditto to what Tea Drinker and DottyG said.

I have a feeling Simon might write again.  If so, I would send back, unopened, attach a note "Not interested. Stop or I will file a harassment complaint."

Jones

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Re: The Letters
« Reply #7 on: August 16, 2013, 06:23:11 PM »
Was Simon the type of child who, upon being told he can't have sweets for dinner, stomped to his room shouting he would just go to bed hungry? Then stomps out 15 minutes later shouting "Didn't you hear me? If I can't have what I want then I'll just starve!"

Because really, that's the type of ill behavior described.

I'd toss the letter with a sigh and have ice cream with a BFF for dinner.

Curious Cat

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Re: The Letters
« Reply #8 on: August 16, 2013, 06:28:06 PM »
Ditto to what Tea Drinker and DottyG said.

I have a feeling Simon might write again.  If so, I would send back, unopened, attach a note "Not interested. Stop or I will file a harassment complaint."

Seriously, some people just can not get the hint that their opinion is neither wanted nor welcome.  Good advice.

Roe

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Re: The Letters
« Reply #9 on: August 16, 2013, 06:28:35 PM »
That was not an apology, it was a "didn't you hear me? I'm not going to be your friend! Let me know how much this hurts you!" letter.

Yep!  I'd either ignore or respond with "Don't ever contact me again."

Lady Snowdon

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Re: The Letters
« Reply #10 on: August 16, 2013, 08:34:32 PM »
1. No.  Bringing up how much I don't want to be friends with a person is even more cruel than the original wording of the letter.

2. Ignore and file it in the circular file.  Or possibly take a picture and send it to passiveaggressivenotes.com so the Interwebz can laugh at it.  But no response to Simon, for sure.

gramma dishes

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Re: The Letters
« Reply #11 on: August 16, 2013, 10:14:02 PM »
That was not an apology, it was a "didn't you hear me? I'm not going to be your friend! Let me know how much this hurts you!" letter.

Exactly!!!   >:(

gramma dishes

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Re: The Letters
« Reply #12 on: August 16, 2013, 10:17:19 PM »

...   Inwardly roll my eyes and think, "Ah, but Simon, you don't understand!  You wanted me to improve my life.  And I did by distancing myself from someone that was bringing me down."

LOL!  Love it!  But I'd preface it with a huge sigh.   ;)

Audrey Quest

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Re: The Letters
« Reply #13 on: August 16, 2013, 11:37:11 PM »
I have two questions:

1. If you were Simon, would you have sent the apology letter? (I know you all are too polite to have sent the first letter, but for the sake of argument, let's assume you did.)

Of course I would, for the same reason I sent the first letter-I am a creep who attracts people who like to be insult

Quote
2. If you were River, how would you respond to the apology letter?

If I were River I would reply that I had greatly improved my life by not having a creep as a friend.

DottyG

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Re: The Letters
« Reply #14 on: August 16, 2013, 11:54:05 PM »

...   Inwardly roll my eyes and think, "Ah, but Simon, you don't understand!  You wanted me to improve my life.  And I did by distancing myself from someone that was bringing me down."

LOL!  Love it!  But I'd preface it with a huge sigh.   ;)

:)