Author Topic: What does Cut Direct mean?  (Read 4186 times)

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mspallaton

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What does Cut Direct mean?
« on: August 19, 2013, 12:13:44 PM »
I looked through this board and people have mentioned the "cut direct".  I have a general idea what it means (it seems somewhat self explanatory), but I couldn't find a definition anywhere.  What does it generally entail to give someone the cut direct?

RingTailedLemur

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Re: What does Cut Direct mean?
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2013, 12:19:31 PM »
It means you no longer acknowledge someone in any way.  No contact, no speaking, don't even look at them.  It's like shunning.

Yvaine

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Re: What does Cut Direct mean?
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2013, 12:20:02 PM »
The cut direct is when you look right at someone and don't acknowledge them at all (cut indirect is where you pretend you haven't even noticed them). http://www.bartleby.com/81/4523.html

But often confused with "cutting someone out of your life" which is different.

amylouky

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Re: What does Cut Direct mean?
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2013, 12:20:17 PM »
It's supposed to mean giving someone no acknowledgement when you run into them, ie, pretending as if they weren't there.

On here, it's taken on the meaning of cutting off contact with someone, or cutting them entirely out of your life.

rose red

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Re: What does Cut Direct mean?
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2013, 12:29:04 PM »
Yeah, it's when you don't acknowledge them even if they are right in front of your face. It's like you say "Hi" to all the other people in the room except that person.

VorFemme

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Re: What does Cut Direct mean?
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2013, 12:45:41 PM »
They are socially invisible to you.  You don't speak to them, you don't acknowledge them in any form or fashion.

It's the etiquette version of a weapon of mass destruction - they are not THERE, you don't run over them or knock into them (because that would usually cause more drama than it would avoid) - you make it plain that you don't "see" them - but you don't happen to walk through where they are standing either.  You can pretend that where they are is a place that you don't want to step - like chewing gum on the floor or a "slippery when wet" sign by a mop & bucket. 

If you are talking to someone else and they come up and try to join the conversation - you don't hear them, you don't see them, and you don't respond to them.   I suppose if they pull out a weapon and threaten to kill someone - you'd be allowed to holler for security or defend yourself & others - but other than an emergency.....they aren't a part of your (social) world any more. 
« Last Edit: August 19, 2013, 06:39:39 PM by VorFemme »
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DottyG

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Re: What does Cut Direct mean?
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2013, 01:55:05 PM »
One note:  A cut direct is a severe cut.  As such, it is thrown around EHell more often than it should be.  Some posters don't realize just how severe it actually is intended to be.  One of the other cuts (indirect, sublime or infernal) would be more suitable for most of the situations encountered here.

As commented by Agnes H. Morton (1892), "The “cut direct” is the rudest possible way of dropping an acquaintance; and is allowable only in the case of some flagrant offender who deserves public and merciless rebuke. Ordinarily, the result sought— of ending an undesired acquaintance—is attained by a persistently cold courtesy, supplemented by as much avoidance as possible; drifting apart, not sinking each other’s craft without warning."

Also, "One thing to understand about the cut direct is that it is a public shaming. Not answering your door, replying to a letter, or answering the phone—these are not examples of a cut direct. A cut direct is looking at someone straight on and pretty much pretending you don’t see them*. You are informing those present that they are unworthy of your acknowledgment. Pretty harsh." 

 
 
*  A post above is an example of how this cut is not understood completely.  It is not avoiding looking at them.  It is, rather, looking at them straight on and pretending you don't see them.
 
 
« Last Edit: August 19, 2013, 02:02:37 PM by DottyG »

veronaz

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Re: What does Cut Direct mean?
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2013, 02:05:28 PM »
Quote
If you are talking to someone else and they come up and try to join the conversation - you don't hear them, you don't see them, and you don't respond to them. 

Right, and you don't talk about them - directly. on FB. text, email, etc.  Nothing.  They cease to exist.  If someone brings their name up, yuu don't reply.  Even if you find out they have said something heinous about you and the facts are nothing close to the truth, you don't discuss the matter or the person at all.

This can be very hard to do - BTDT.  It's tempting to try to correct the misinformation, but much better to (at most) raise an eyebrow, say "hmmm" then change the subject.  This will throw other people off somewhat, but they will get the message.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2013, 02:10:19 PM by veronaz »

mspallaton

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Re: What does Cut Direct mean?
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2013, 02:07:19 PM »
One note:  A cut direct is a severe cut.  As such, it is thrown around EHell more often than it should be.  Some posters don't realize just how severe it actually is intended to be.  One of the other cuts (indirect, sublime or infernal) would be more suitable for most of the situations encountered here.

As commented by Agnes H. Morton (1892), "The “cut direct” is the rudest possible way of dropping an acquaintance; and is allowable only in the case of some flagrant offender who deserves public and merciless rebuke. Ordinarily, the result sought— of ending an undesired acquaintance—is attained by a persistently cold courtesy, supplemented by as much avoidance as possible; drifting apart, not sinking each other’s craft without warning."

Also, "One thing to understand about the cut direct is that it is a public shaming. Not answering your door, replying to a letter, or answering the phone—these are not examples of a cut direct. A cut direct is looking at someone straight on and pretty much pretending you don’t see them*. You are informing those present that they are unworthy of your acknowledgment. Pretty harsh." 

 
 
*  A post above is an example of how this cut is not understood completely.  It is not avoiding looking at them.  It is, rather, looking at them straight on and pretending you don't see them.

Thank you for the response.  I had no idea it was such a long established term -- I thought it was a term from this board actually.  I'm curious if you know what the indirect, sublime and infernal, would be?

I asked a question on the family and children board and noticed that one person (probably partially in jest) said my DF was a candidate for sainthood for not giving my FSMIL the cut direct already.  While she is pretty nasty, that seems like overkill now that it has been explained.  It would be nice to have some more distance though, so I'm wondering if any of those other cuts would apply.

DottyG

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Re: What does Cut Direct mean?
« Reply #9 on: August 19, 2013, 02:10:47 PM »
Cut indirect is to look another way and pass without appearing to observe him (this is what the poster above was referring to).

Cut sublime is to look up until the person is out of sight.

Cut infernal is to look down (for instance, at your shoes) until the person is out of sight.

These cuts have been around for centuries now.  They're not from EHell.
 




 

DottyG

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Re: What does Cut Direct mean?
« Reply #10 on: August 19, 2013, 02:12:43 PM »
my DF was a candidate for sainthood for not giving my FSMIL the cut direct already.  While she is pretty nasty, that seems like overkill

Absolutely.  Unless she is beyond dispicable.  A cut direct would be very inappropriate in this situation.


Hmmmmm

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Re: What does Cut Direct mean?
« Reply #11 on: August 19, 2013, 02:19:31 PM »
One note:  A cut direct is a severe cut.  As such, it is thrown around EHell more often than it should be.  Some posters don't realize just how severe it actually is intended to be.  One of the other cuts (indirect, sublime or infernal) would be more suitable for most of the situations encountered here.

As commented by Agnes H. Morton (1892), "The “cut direct” is the rudest possible way of dropping an acquaintance; and is allowable only in the case of some flagrant offender who deserves public and merciless rebuke. Ordinarily, the result sought— of ending an undesired acquaintance—is attained by a persistently cold courtesy, supplemented by as much avoidance as possible; drifting apart, not sinking each other’s craft without warning."

Also, "One thing to understand about the cut direct is that it is a public shaming. Not answering your door, replying to a letter, or answering the phone—these are not examples of a cut direct. A cut direct is looking at someone straight on and pretty much pretending you don’t see them*. You are informing those present that they are unworthy of your acknowledgment. Pretty harsh." 

 
 
*  A post above is an example of how this cut is not understood completely.  It is not avoiding looking at them.  It is, rather, looking at them straight on and pretending you don't see them.

I agree with this. You can cut someone out of your life without doing a cut direct.

Imagine this scenario. Uncle Bob has done something which caused you to want to completely cut him out of your life which you have done. Unfortunately this means you no longer have a relationship with Aunt Sue either. You encounter them at a funeral.

Bob: Hello, Hmmmm
You: Bob
Aunt Sue: Hmmm, I've missed seeing you, how is your DH?
You: Aunt Sue, it's nice to see you, sorry it is under these circumstances. DH is doing well
Bob: That's good. You need to come visit.
You: Aunt Sue, Bob, please excuse me. I need to speak to Aunt Agatha.

With a cut direct, you would completely look past the fact that Bob was standing next to Aunt Sue. You would not acknowledge him if he spoke to you. With a cut direct, it is very uncomfortable for all other parties witnessing the cut, and in this case your Aunt Sue. Which is why a cut direct is so severe.

Tea Drinker

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Re: What does Cut Direct mean?
« Reply #12 on: August 19, 2013, 02:33:18 PM »
The classic "cut direct" would be ignoring the person if possible, and if they came over and talked to you, to say "Sir/Ma'am, I do not know you" and walk away.

If you do that in a public place, people are likely to notice and maybe even comment. It will be known that you aren't speaking to him/her, whereas you can cut someone out of your life and mostly just not mention that you have an Aunt Sally.
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pierrotlunaire0

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Re: What does Cut Direct mean?
« Reply #13 on: August 19, 2013, 04:16:39 PM »
If it becomes impossible to pretend that you do not see the person (for example, they run up to you and attempt to grab you in a bear hug), that is when you use:  "I do not know you!" as if they were a stranger trying to cop a feel.

It is the nuclear weapon of etiquette in that there is no acceptable fiction to cover it: Oh, she didn't see me; or She's been busy with work and that is why she doesn't return my calls.

The person is dead to you.  (Cue ominous music)

I have done it exactly once, and it was when a coworker complained to the brand new head of the department about the entire staff.  According to coworker, I was only hired because of my sexual skills.  I know because brand new head wanted me to present my credentials as if I were a new hire.

That coworker then tried to act as if we were pals, but I got a different job shortly thereafter, and gave him the cut direct the next time I ran into him.
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mspallaton

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Re: What does Cut Direct mean?
« Reply #14 on: August 19, 2013, 04:26:50 PM »
Thank you all for the advice and explanation.  I know very little about formal etiquette, having not been taught, so while the basics (like being polite to your fellow man etc...) are easy - some of the language, nuances and formalities still escape me.

I especially appreciate all the examples and the explanation of the other forms of cuts.  With those details, it is clear that any kind of cut would be way beyond appropriate in my DF's situation, but it is good to know those things exist for when relationships truly become toxic.