OP ~~ Just curious. Is this a matter of your father really, really LOVING his great-great nephew and wanting to witness in person this religious rite of baptism, or is this more that your father thinks of it as a family reunion of sorts and just wants to see other members of his family. This has nothing to do with the baby, he just wants to visit with other family members.
What I think she's actually trying to say is "I didn't receive an invitation and I'm okay with that. I'd normally never attend an event without being invited, however, my elderly father has been invited, wants to go, and needs me to drive him. He's really pressuring me to go anyway and he's been trying to get other relatives to invite me. This makes me extremely uncomfortable and I don't know what to do?" This is exactly how I feel. I am a very shy person and I would not feel comfortable making any phone calls to a relative and putting them on the spot to invite me. My father is not shy and wouldn't think twice about putting someone on the spot to get what he wanted. Earlier this year I had to talk him out of calling the parents of the bride(late mom's side of family) to ask if he could bring a date when his invite did not include a + one.
You need to contact the parents or grandparents of the baby and ask who is coming up to get your father so he can attend. If you are your father's main source of transport for such events, you need to make sure that he has safe transportation back and forth. There is no reason he should not have to forego attendance just because you didn't received an invitation. Why should he suffer due to their etiquette faux pas?
Actually this might be the best way to go....however it is not on me to do this, it should be on my father. He is 86, but not an invalid or incompetant, he lives on his own.
I do believe that they want him there, just no one bothered to think it all the way through. When I hosted my mom's 80th over 10 years ago I made sure to work out transportation for any of the elderly guests that I thought might have transportation issues. I guess not everyone thinks of that.
Would it be possible for you to drop off Dad and dink around in the area for a while before picking him back up again? Even if said dinking is reading a book in a local park? I think that's what I'd do in the circs. I knew someone was going to suggest that. It is an hour and a half drive ONE WAy from my house...so not really practical.