Author Topic: But I haven't been invited  (Read 26789 times)

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kareng57

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Re: But I haven't been invited
« Reply #135 on: August 22, 2013, 11:57:38 PM »
While the church service is open to anyone, the party after is usually an invitation type event especially because it is usually a restaurant or catered event.


For our kids, it was not a restaurant/catered event - I did it myself from home.  It was a casual finger-food lunch reception for grandparents, godparents and a few other special people.  If everyone at the had church decided that it would be okay to follow us home it would have been disastrous.

Danika

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Re: But I haven't been invited
« Reply #136 on: August 22, 2013, 11:58:08 PM »
Thanks for the update! I'm glad that you didn't act on the assumption that your father was correct that you were invited. I'm glad that he's found another ride so that he won't hound you.

And because I can't help myself because your father sounds so much like my mother and my uncle, I have to just say the following three words: Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It explains why people like him so much that he's fun and interesting to be around. It also explains why he has zero appreciation for all the time and effort you and your cousin are often willing to put in to help him.

lkdrymom

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Re: But I haven't been invited
« Reply #137 on: August 23, 2013, 06:27:28 AM »
Yes my father is a tad narcissistic, but thankfully he is not as bad as his mother who I am sure had a gold medal in NPD.

lkdrymom

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Re: But I haven't been invited update 138
« Reply #138 on: April 05, 2014, 04:57:37 PM »
Just a small update. Invitation for baby's first birthday just arrived in the mail.  Is it wrong of me to think I am only invited just so my father has a ride?

Texas Mom

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Re: But I haven't been invited update 138
« Reply #139 on: April 05, 2014, 05:15:27 PM »
Just a small update. Invitation for baby's first birthday just arrived in the mail.  Is it wrong of me to think I am only invited just so my father has a ride?

You're probably spot on.

It appears they've learned a little bit of etiquette, though.   ;)

Is it convenient for you to take him?

lakey

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Re: But I haven't been invited
« Reply #140 on: April 05, 2014, 05:58:11 PM »
"Re: But I haven't been invited
Reply #121 on: August 21, 2013, 07:51:49 AM
Quote
I actually find it unusual that one would need to be "invited" to a baptism.  Every baptism I've attended has been word-of-mouth and anyone who wishes to attend, may do so. "

In the Catholic Church anyone can attend any church service including weddings, funerals, and baptisms.
However, you do not go to the wedding receptions and baptism parties unless invited.
In our area parishes provide a lunch after funerals. One of the difficult parts of planning my mother's funeral was trying to estimate how many people would come, so that the ladies who prepare the lunch would know how much to provide.


Danika

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Re: But I haven't been invited update 138
« Reply #141 on: April 05, 2014, 09:55:16 PM »
Just a small update. Invitation for baby's first birthday just arrived in the mail.  Is it wrong of me to think I am only invited just so my father has a ride?

Based on the history, I would think the same thing.

My advice is if you really really want to go, bring a gift, and your father and go. But if you don't feel like it, send your regrets and don't listen to anyone, including your father, because they can find other ways for him to get there.

sammycat

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Re: But I haven't been invited update 138
« Reply #142 on: April 05, 2014, 10:45:47 PM »
Just a small update. Invitation for baby's first birthday just arrived in the mail.  Is it wrong of me to think I am only invited just so my father has a ride?

Based on the history, I would think the same thing.

My advice is if you really really want to go, bring a gift, and your father and go. But if you don't feel like it, send your regrets and don't listen to anyone, including your father, because they can find other ways for him to get there.

Exactly what I was going to say.  :)

OP, remove your father from the equation for the decision making process and decide from there.

lkdrymom

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Re: But I haven't been invited
« Reply #143 on: April 06, 2014, 10:39:48 AM »
I will probably go mainly to avoid listening to my father's drama. The date does not conflict with anything I have going on and since I am out of work, household chores are all caught up so my weekends are free.  However I don;t have much enthusiasm for going as it seems like a gift grab (the party is at a fire hall) and I really feel I am only invited so my father has a ride.  And as another poster said...at least they seemed to have gained a bit of ettiquette.

Just seems over the top for a first birthday to actually have it in a rented hall. For both my kids I just had immediate family (grandparents, my husband's brothers and sisters and a two of my friends as I don't have any brothers or sisters). I didn't invite MY aunts and uncles and distant cousins.

Mary Lennox

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Re: But I haven't been invited
« Reply #144 on: April 06, 2014, 11:13:08 AM »
Just seems over the top for a first birthday to actually have it in a rented hall. For both my kids I just had immediate family (grandparents, my husband's brothers and sisters and a two of my friends as I don't have any brothers or sisters). I didn't invite MY aunts and uncles and distant cousins.

Just because you did it one way, doesn't make it wrong for them to do it their way.

lkdrymom

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Re: But I haven't been invited
« Reply #145 on: April 06, 2014, 03:05:16 PM »
I know and if I was someone they saw on a regular basis I could see being invited.  To me inviting someone you normally wouldn't see to a first birthday seems like a bit much. A college or high graduation party, yes...1st birthday party not so much. But everyone does things differently.

lady_disdain

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Re: But I haven't been invited
« Reply #146 on: April 06, 2014, 03:22:01 PM »
They can't win, can they? You are ok with not being invited but you won't take your father in that case. If you are invited, you complain that you are only invited to give him a ride.

gramma dishes

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Re: But I haven't been invited
« Reply #147 on: April 06, 2014, 03:43:04 PM »
They can't win, can they? You are ok with not being invited but you won't take your father in that case. If you are invited, you complain that you are only invited to give him a ride.

I don't think Lkdrymom is complaining.  I think she is simply stating the facts as she sees them -- and I suspect from her past experience with these people that she is probably absolutely correct.

Danika

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Re: But I haven't been invited
« Reply #148 on: April 06, 2014, 04:32:28 PM »
They can't win, can they? You are ok with not being invited but you won't take your father in that case. If you are invited, you complain that you are only invited to give him a ride.

It sounds like they don't want to win. They want to have a chauffeur. If they really liked the OP, they'd call her more often and invite her to things without her father and she'd have more of a relationship with them. I'm not saying she couldn't reach out to them more too, if she really enjoyed their company. But if she gets the impression that she's just "the ride" who are we to say that her impression is wrong?

MindsEye

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Re: But I haven't been invited
« Reply #149 on: April 06, 2014, 04:45:22 PM »
If you think that you are only being invited so that your father will have a chauffeur, here is my advice:

1 - Go if you want to, but don't feel obligated to bring anything beyond a card as a gift (especially since you feel this is a gift grab)

Or

2 - Drop your father off at the beginning of the party and pick him up at the end, but don't feel obligated to stay if you don't want to