Author Topic: Correct Clothing for the occasion - a plea for saving my sanity.  (Read 9941 times)

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PurpleFrog

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In order to stop me from beating my husband with a pair of jeans I'm throwing myself on the mercy of EHell.

Can anyone recommend a good guide on what clothing is appropriate for an occasion/event. My DH seems to be getting less and less able to judge which type of clothing is the correct choice, and has now seemingly forgotten that there is anything beween Jeans and and a suit. He also struggles to define office clothing as opposed to outside work type clothing. I'm pretty sure when we met he was less clueless and is just getting dumber.

The latest example is thatI recently celebrated a milestone birthday, and we are going away together overnight. Plans include dinner at a very nice restraunt. DH decides to pack black jeans as 'blue jeans wouldn't be OK'. This is a very upscale restraunt, jeans are not OK full stop. Second choice, his black trousers he uses for work (think suit type) :/ it seems in his world these are the only two options in black as his next question is; 'Should I buy cream ones then?'. Arrgh (not that cream would be an issue, Just the idea that thé Could not thé style was the issue)

Of course he only spring these things on me after getting ready/packing/at 11pm on a sunday night when everything is shut. He's also the first to criticize others fir wearing somthing inappropriate (ime the guest who rocked up to our wedding in blue jeans and a tshirt) I'm sick of chasing round after him to check he owns/will be wearing somthing suitable, while he promplynpurges the information before the next event.

Basically I want a 'clothing types or dummies' guide. Or I shall just lock him in a cupboard.
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Bethalize

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Re: Correct Clothing for the occasion - a plea for saving my sanity.
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2013, 04:52:09 AM »
I feel your pain! Luckily, DH has agreed to my minimum requirements, which is to have a dark suit with the choice of a coloured or white shirt and a suitable tie, plus sports coats in both black and brown that may or may not be worn with jeans, plus a pair of trousers that are not jeans. He also understands the difference between "casual" clothes i.e. not formal clothes, and "leisure clothes" i.e. stuff he wears in his leisure time.

http://askandyaboutclothes.com/clothing/style-tips/cracking-the-dress-code

bopper

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Re: Correct Clothing for the occasion - a plea for saving my sanity.
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2013, 10:05:56 AM »
Go shopping with him and help him pick out some clothing that is between jeans and a suit.
When you go somewhere, tell him "Why don't you bring those khaki's and your sport coat.  That would look very sharp."

msulinski

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Re: Correct Clothing for the occasion - a plea for saving my sanity.
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2013, 10:15:05 AM »
One word of advice for menswear - please stay away from black in general. Black is almost never the correct/best color to wear to most events. Black suits are generally not worn in the business world in most places (US, Canada, UK, Continental Europe). Dark gray and navy are preferable and more versatile. I suppose you can get away with a black suit at an evening event.

Also, try to avoid black pants worn alone or with a sport jacket. Black is generally a formal color, and black pants on their own are part of a rather casual outfit. Mid gray and tan are better choices. Black sport coats aren't great for the same reasons. Navy is better.

MrTango

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Re: Correct Clothing for the occasion - a plea for saving my sanity.
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2013, 10:21:40 AM »
I'm a guy that used to struggle with the being over- or under-dressed, but I've figured out a pretty easy system:

1) Casual (around the house, fishing, out running errands): Jeans or Khaki cargo-pants with t-shirt or polo shirt.
2) A bit less casual (Dinner with the in-laws, the evening service at my church, work): Black or Khaki slacks (like Dockers), polo shirt or casual sweater.
3) Somewhat formal (morning service at my church, clients at work): Black slacks or the pants from my suit (no suspenders), shirt & tie (I have a half dozen shirts and about 10 different ties).  No jacket unless it's cold out.
4) Formal: Suit pants with suspenders, Shirt & Tie, Jacket.

I disagree with Msulinski about black.  A black suit paired with shirts and ties in a variety of colors can be very flexible and appropriate for a wide variety of situations and environments.

msulinski

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Re: Correct Clothing for the occasion - a plea for saving my sanity.
« Reply #5 on: August 20, 2013, 10:34:11 AM »
Regarding black, I'm not sure where you live, but in the US, almost no one wears black suits to work. They are also not very versatile, especially compared to navy or charcoal. Black is very severe, looks bad in daylight, and can wash out many complexions.

It also limits the choices of shirts. You pretty much have white and maybe light blue. A lot of other colors don't look great with black. Same with ties. Would you wear a brown tie with a black suit? Charcoal and navy dial down the severity and allow for more color combinations that look good.

With black pants or a suit, you have one option for shoes: black. Brown shoes with black pants looks terrible.

WillyNilly

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Re: Correct Clothing for the occasion - a plea for saving my sanity.
« Reply #6 on: August 20, 2013, 10:42:03 AM »
Sounds like your DH is in need of slacks - not jeans or cargos, but not suit pants, slacks are somewhere in between. They are appropriate for "summer Fridays" at work, dinners out, holidays/church occasions, etc. Plug mens slacks into google and hit "images" and show your husband and say "this!" (https://www.google.com/search?q=mens+slacks&client=Flamingvixen-a&hs=yXo&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=on4TUsz4FIbUyQGXxYG4Bg&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1366&bih=664)

Personally I used to hate the word "slacks" it sounded so old fashioned but as I've aged I have come to realize its awesome to have a specific word to be able to use with men like my husband to describe what to wear, because unlike with girlfriends saying "you know, nice pants" didn't ever garner the appropriate reaction on his part.

Mens slacks can be bought at department stores (JC Penny, Macy's, Sears, etc) or brand specific places like Gap, Express, Ralph Lauren. One can probably find them at Target, but there they might be styled a bit more casually, closer to cargos, so just beware. Sometimes they can even be found at warehouse stores like BJs or Costco.

Zizi-K

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Re: Correct Clothing for the occasion - a plea for saving my sanity.
« Reply #7 on: August 20, 2013, 10:48:43 AM »
Regarding black, I'm not sure where you live, but in the US, almost no one wears black suits to work. They are also not very versatile, especially compared to navy or charcoal. Black is very severe, looks bad in daylight, and can wash out many complexions.

It also limits the choices of shirts. You pretty much have white and maybe light blue. A lot of other colors don't look great with black. Same with ties. Would you wear a brown tie with a black suit? Charcoal and navy dial down the severity and allow for more color combinations that look good.

With black pants or a suit, you have one option for shoes: black. Brown shoes with black pants looks terrible.

Um, I live in the US and in my (academic/design) circles, I rarely see anything but black. The US is a big country - be careful about making such sweeping generalizations.

daisy1679

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Re: Correct Clothing for the occasion - a plea for saving my sanity.
« Reply #8 on: August 20, 2013, 11:25:31 AM »
Regarding black, I'm not sure where you live, but in the US, almost no one wears black suits to work. They are also not very versatile, especially compared to navy or charcoal. Black is very severe, looks bad in daylight, and can wash out many complexions.

It also limits the choices of shirts. You pretty much have white and maybe light blue. A lot of other colors don't look great with black. Same with ties. Would you wear a brown tie with a black suit? Charcoal and navy dial down the severity and allow for more color combinations that look good.

With black pants or a suit, you have one option for shoes: black. Brown shoes with black pants looks terrible.

Um, I live in the US and in my (academic/design) circles, I rarely see anything but black. The US is a big country - be careful about making such sweeping generalizations.

I live in the US too, and black seems to be the most popular suit color I've seen around here. As far as what colors to wear with it, I find black far more versatile (and shades of black, like charcoal). I never wear navy because almost nothing looks good with it but white.

As far as the OP goes, a pair of khakis and a pair of black dress pants can go a long way for a man when paired with a nice collared shirt. Khakis for an earlier event, black for a night one. It's pretty much the standard dress uniform among all the men I know.
« Last Edit: August 20, 2013, 11:28:01 AM by daisy1679 »

Twirly

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Re: Correct Clothing for the occasion - a plea for saving my sanity.
« Reply #9 on: August 20, 2013, 11:30:06 AM »
Regarding black, I'm not sure where you live, but in the US, almost no one wears black suits to work. They are also not very versatile, especially compared to navy or charcoal. Black is very severe, looks bad in daylight, and can wash out many complexions.

It also limits the choices of shirts. You pretty much have white and maybe light blue. A lot of other colors don't look great with black. Same with ties. Would you wear a brown tie with a black suit? Charcoal and navy dial down the severity and allow for more color combinations that look good.

With black pants or a suit, you have one option for shoes: black. Brown shoes with black pants looks terrible.

That's so interesting! Black is a regular if not default color for slacks and suits in every office I've ever worked in in San Francisco and Philadelphia.  It's so funny how we can have such different experiences in the same country.

I totally disagree about only white or blue looking good with black pants, I think every color but brown works really well. And actually that combo can even look really smart and modern if done correctly, I've seen it quite a few times. My husband wears black pants to work almost exclusively, with a variety of colorful shirts and ties. Plus he only owns black shoes so that is never a concern!

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msulinski

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Re: Correct Clothing for the occasion - a plea for saving my sanity.
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2013, 11:49:22 AM »
To clarify, I am speaking from a menswear perspective, and it may have nothing to do with what women wear. I mentioned it because this thread is about what a man should wear in various environments. I am trying to provide some guidance about what looks good. I truly don't mean any offense by this, but I think a man can only look so good when he is dressed by his wife/girlfriend/mother.

OP, I would urge you to seek men's style advice outside of this forum, as you are not likely to get any adivce from well-dressed men. The previously-mentioend askandyaboutclothes.com and styleforum.net are good places to go.

MrTango

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Re: Correct Clothing for the occasion - a plea for saving my sanity.
« Reply #11 on: August 20, 2013, 12:46:52 PM »
I am trying to provide some guidance about what looks good. I truly don't mean any offense by this, but I think a man can only look so good when he is dressed by his wife/girlfriend/mother.

You may not have intended it, but this remark does offend me.

I actively seek out input from my wife regarding what to wear for certain events, and I don't think that in any way makes me look less good than if I'd decided entirely on my own what to wear.

SlitherHiss

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Re: Correct Clothing for the occasion - a plea for saving my sanity.
« Reply #12 on: August 20, 2013, 01:01:45 PM »
I am trying to provide some guidance about what looks good. I truly don't mean any offense by this, but I think a man can only look so good when he is dressed by his wife/girlfriend/mother.

You may not have intended it, but this remark does offend me.

I actively seek out input from my wife regarding what to wear for certain events, and I don't think that in any way makes me look less good than if I'd decided entirely on my own what to wear.

I don't know what circles you run in, msulinski, but most of the men (and boys, for that matter) that I know are pretty conscious of their appearance. They dress themselves well. Sometimes, there are misfires, but then again, there are misfires among the women and girls I know, too. (Myself, especially.) The only one I know who has regular input from his wife is literally colorblind.

As women, and as wives, I think we do everyone (ourselves included) a massive disservice by buying into the "dumb hubby" stereotype. There will always be people of both sexes who have trouble figuring out what to wear; whether out of habit, learned helplessness, simple ignorance, or some combination thereof. Let's not make this a sexist thing.

WillyNilly

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Re: Correct Clothing for the occasion - a plea for saving my sanity.
« Reply #13 on: August 20, 2013, 01:13:59 PM »
I am trying to provide some guidance about what looks good. I truly don't mean any offense by this, but I think a man can only look so good when he is dressed by his wife/girlfriend/mother.

You may not have intended it, but this remark does offend me.

I actively seek out input from my wife regarding what to wear for certain events, and I don't think that in any way makes me look less good than if I'd decided entirely on my own what to wear.

Yeah I absolutely would not have married my DH (or dated any boyfriends before him) if he could not dress himself well.
I do think sometimes people (men and women alike) need a bit of help in figuring out what is appropriate for an occasion - if one has never been to a networking event, or formal brunch, or community rally, or rock concert, or whatever they might need a bit of help from friends and family on what they should wear, but I expect any adult to be able to put together a flattering and appropriate outfit once they know the perimeters of an event.

cass2591

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Re: Correct Clothing for the occasion - a plea for saving my sanity.
« Reply #14 on: August 20, 2013, 01:26:45 PM »
msulinski, many men I know have a better sense of appropriate dress than I do. Sartorial splendor, or lack thereof, is not gender specific.

It would serve you well to stay away from stereotypes here because people will call you on it.
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