Correct Clothing for the occasion - a plea for saving my sanity.

[PurpleFrog]

I feel your pain! Luckily, DH has agreed to my minimum requirements, which is to have a dark suit with the choice of a coloured or white shirt and a suitable tie, plus sports coats in both black and brown that may or may not be worn with jeans, plus a pair of trousers that are not jeans. He also understands the difference between "casual" clothes i.e. not formal clothes, and "leisure clothes" i.e. stuff he wears in his leisure time.

http://askandyaboutclothes.com/clothing/style-tips/cracking-the-dress-code

Thanks I shall pass on the link.

I'm a guy that used to struggle with the being over- or under-dressed, but I've figured out a pretty easy system:

1) Casual (around the house, fishing, out running errands): Jeans or Khaki cargo-pants with t-shirt or polo shirt.
2) A bit less casual (Dinner with the in-laws, the evening service at my church, work): Black or Khaki slacks (like Dockers), polo shirt or casual sweater.
3) Somewhat formal (morning service at my church, clients at work): Black slacks or the pants from my suit (no suspenders), shirt & tie (I have a half dozen shirts and about 10 different ties).  No jacket unless it's cold out.
4) Formal: Suit pants with suspenders, Shirt & Tie, Jacket.

I disagree with Msulinski about black.  A black suit paired with shirts and ties in a variety of colors can be very flexible and appropriate for a wide variety of situations and environments.

MrTango I'm cutting this out and sticking it inside the wardrobe! Thank you so much.

I'm not sure why everyone thinks that I said men can't dress themselves. Certainly there are those who can. What I said (or at least what I intended to say), is that I don't believe that men whose wives/girlfriends/mothers dress them end up  very good. I realize that a lot of the time this happens out of necessity, when some men (as in the OPs case) refuse to put any effort in their appearance.

Msulinski: Nowhere did I say that he refused to put in any effort, I said he couldn't understand the subtle variations for events and locations. I find your assumption quite offensive. As to the black issue it is the predominant colour for work suits in the UK.

Anyone remember Garanimals clothing line?  When I was a kid you just had to match the tags, and you knew it would coordinate,  Sometimes I kind of wish they would make an adult version. 

Kind of off topic but the creator of that line is color blind. So he designed the clothes that way so he would know which ones went together. I think that's pretty awesome.
[/quote
They really do need this for adults. DH is red-green colour blind, I don't mind him asking I colours clash/the shade of the same colour are the same etc, I just wish he could grasp styles.

OP, if you'd like a reference for your DH, I'd suggest the Art of Manliness website. Its dress and grooming section has a lot of helpful information.

Again a great source to pass on.
Thank you WillyNilly and Xandreae, I shall certainly try this, its currently arranged by colour to try to combat that, but its obviously failing LOL

OP, if you'd like a reference for your DH, I'd suggest the Art of Manliness website. Its dress and grooming section has a lot of helpful information.

Another great source thanks.

Thank you all, there's some great sources he can use to educate himslef, and some great ideas I can use to help him with out having to drag him through the process by his ear!

[msulinski]

I missed this one. I agree that navy looks good with just about anything. A navy suit with a white, light blue, mid-blue, pink etc shirt looks great. I don't think the same can be said for black. Also, navy suits allow more versatility in terms of shoe color. Black, brown and burgundy shoes all look good with navy. For black suits, you are pretty much stuck with black shoes.

My brain just exploded.  I disagree vehemently.  The only shoes that look good with navy, are navy.  Or cream/white, but on men this can look a bit pimp.

I'm not sure I am even allowed to post in this thread anymore, but since posters keep responding to my posts, I guess I'll reply.

I just can't see how you think that the only shoes that look good with navy suits are navy. That is silly. Navy suits are classic businesswear for men. Navy shoes are not. I know of every few manufacturers who even make navy shoes. Go into a decent men's shoe store and look at dress shoes. You will see black, brown, and, to a lesser extent, burgundy. You will have a hard time finding a navy pair in a conservative style appropriate for business. What color shoes do you think all of those men are wearing when they wear their navy suits?

[msulinski]

Here is a lighthearted article from the Mail. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2399341/Would-YOU-let-man-pack-holiday-cases-We-did--ended-gardening-clothes-make-knickers.html

Husbands were asked to pack themselves and their wives for a week's trip to a sunny destination.  The men seemed very thoughtful, but didn't know exactly which clothes their wives actually would wear.  One guy didn't pack any knickers for his wife, another packed a years old maternity dress because it had been an evening dress, and one packed his wife's hair straighteners "because they looked important."

The article does stereotype gender roles a bit, but I thought the guys really tried to do a good job in a sweet way.

Interesting article. There is no way I would pack for my wife. I'm sure I would get some things right, but I would also forget some important things. I can (and do) pack for myself just fine. If my wife had to pack for me, I'm sure she would forget some things for me, as well.

[MariaE]

I missed this one. I agree that navy looks good with just about anything. A navy suit with a white, light blue, mid-blue, pink etc shirt looks great. I don't think the same can be said for black. Also, navy suits allow more versatility in terms of shoe color. Black, brown and burgundy shoes all look good with navy. For black suits, you are pretty much stuck with black shoes.

My brain just exploded.  I disagree vehemently.  The only shoes that look good with navy, are navy.  Or cream/white, but on men this can look a bit pimp.

Just goes how subjective taste is, because my brain just exploded at reading about your brain explosion I'd never recommend navy shoes to go with a navy suit (and even less cream/white shoes).

[Goosey]

I don't think brown shoes work with navy (warm color vs. cool color) but black shoes definitely do.

And red shoes :-D

[MariaE]

I don't think brown shoes work with navy (warm color vs. cool color) but black shoes definitely do.

And red shoes :-D

I don't necessarily disagree, but isn't red a warm colour too?

But then, red shoes are always appropriate

[Goosey]

I don't think brown shoes work with navy (warm color vs. cool color) but black shoes definitely do.

And red shoes :-D

I don't necessarily disagree, but isn't red a warm colour too?

But then, red shoes are always appropriate

Depends on the shade of red. There are definitely warm reds and cool reds.

[msulinski]

I don't think brown shoes work with navy (warm color vs. cool color) but black shoes definitely do.

And red shoes :-D

I don't necessarily disagree, but isn't red a warm colour too?

But then, red shoes are always appropriate

Depends on the shade of red. There are definitely warm reds and cool reds.

We aren't talking about menswear anymore, are we?

[Goosey]

I don't think brown shoes work with navy (warm color vs. cool color) but black shoes definitely do.

And red shoes :-D

I don't necessarily disagree, but isn't red a warm colour too?

But then, red shoes are always appropriate

Depends on the shade of red. There are definitely warm reds and cool reds.

We aren't talking about menswear anymore, are we?

Why do you say that?

[msulinski]

I don't think brown shoes work with navy (warm color vs. cool color) but black shoes definitely do.

And red shoes :-D

I don't necessarily disagree, but isn't red a warm colour too?

But then, red shoes are always appropriate

Depends on the shade of red. There are definitely warm reds and cool reds.

We aren't talking about menswear anymore, are we?

Why do you say that?

The red shoes. Unless we are talking about burgundy/merlot, most men don't wear red shoes, at least to work. I do see some women wearing red shoes from time to time, even in a conservative office environment.

[Goosey]

I don't think brown shoes work with navy (warm color vs. cool color) but black shoes definitely do.

And red shoes :-D

I don't necessarily disagree, but isn't red a warm colour too?

But then, red shoes are always appropriate

Depends on the shade of red. There are definitely warm reds and cool reds.

We aren't talking about menswear anymore, are we?

Why do you say that?

The red shoes. Unless we are talking about burgundy/merlot, most men don't wear red shoes, at least to work. I do see some women wearing red shoes from time to time, even in a conservative office environment.

They could wear red ties/accents. So, not necessarily just talking about shoes.

[VorFemme]

Classic "navy blue" - military uniforms are worn with highly polished black shoes.

And since VorGuy grew up with a military father & went into the military - he is not always clear on what the "uniform of the day" equivalent is when wearing civvies instead of picking a uniform (four levels' - battle dress/fatigues for manual labor, shirt & uniform pants without jacket for office & indoor work, shirt, tie, jacket, & uniform pants for formal events such as most ceremonial events (weddings, funerals, change of command, etc. - "Sunday best" equivalent - or possibly Easter Sunday Best), and the mess dress (or uniform with white tux shirt for lower paid & younger ranks not likely to have the funds for the full mess dress uniform) for all formal events - where civilians might wear a tux, cocktail dress, or evening dress. 

I have been known to tell him that me wearing "GOOD dress - Sunday Best" does not mean that his slacks and a polo shirt are the same level of formality - he doesn't always believe me - but he doesn't pack anything for vacation to go "out to dinner" in except slacks and a polo shirt.  The other things are shorts, jeans, t-shirts, swimsuit, and a couple of Hawaiian shirts....no dress shirts at all and he wouldn't even think of packing a tie on vacation unless we were going to one of the steak restaurants where part of the ambiance is that any ties are cut off and nailed to the ceiling - which looks like an "ugly tie context" competition.

I love black - but not everyone looks good in it - which is why shirts that are NOT black can be worn with black, brown, kakhi, camel, idigo denim, or any number of other colors that are more flattering to ones' coloring, if black doesn't work.

The only red shoes I've seen guys lately wear were for very young guys (kids) and had cartoon characters on them......

[Klein Bottle]

My ex was a horrible dresser, also.  He would never change clothes when he came home from work, so many a nice shirt I bought him wound up with grease stains or grass stains.  I just finally quit buying him anything.  He is also built oddly, with broad shoulders and a largeish belly, so that pull-over shirts hit him above his navel and looked really stupid, as he refused to see he needed a larger size.  One time we were in Toronto to see a show, and he dressed in a nice suit he'd brought...and nasty old Hush Puppy loafers without socks.      He had not packed dress shoes and by the time I realized it, we were running late for the show, no time to go shopping.  He is famous for wearing jeans and sneakers to church and funerals, etc.  Being with him was really embarrassing sometimes, and he refused to listen to my advice.

This man also hated to shave, so he often went around with that three-day beard growth thing.  OK in the eighties when Don Johnson sported it, not OK for him or for modern times.

I don't know what to advise, but you have my complete empathy and understanding!

[Yvaine]

I missed this one. I agree that navy looks good with just about anything. A navy suit with a white, light blue, mid-blue, pink etc shirt looks great. I don't think the same can be said for black. Also, navy suits allow more versatility in terms of shoe color. Black, brown and burgundy shoes all look good with navy. For black suits, you are pretty much stuck with black shoes.

My brain just exploded.  I disagree vehemently.  The only shoes that look good with navy, are navy.  Or cream/white, but on men this can look a bit pimp.

I'm not sure I am even allowed to post in this thread anymore, but since posters keep responding to my posts, I guess I'll reply.

I just can't see how you think that the only shoes that look good with navy suits are navy. That is silly. Navy suits are classic businesswear for men. Navy shoes are not. I know of every few manufacturers who even make navy shoes. Go into a decent men's shoe store and look at dress shoes. You will see black, brown, and, to a lesser extent, burgundy. You will have a hard time finding a navy pair in a conservative style appropriate for business. What color shoes do you think all of those men are wearing when they wear their navy suits?

My ex told me that there is a Dude Fashion Rule that you can't wear brown with navy, which surprised me because I think (just instinctively, without referring to any fashion rules) that the colors look good together. That, along with some other rules he had about ties and such, convinced me that there are Dude Fashion Rules I simply don't know. He always wore high-water pants, though, so who knows.

[auntmeegs]

My ex was a horrible dresser, also.  He would never change clothes when he came home from work, so many a nice shirt I bought him wound up with grease stains or grass stains.  I just finally quit buying him anything.  He is also built oddly, with broad shoulders and a largeish belly, so that pull-over shirts hit him above his navel and looked really stupid, as he refused to see he needed a larger size.  One time we were in Toronto to see a show, and he dressed in a nice suit he'd brought...and nasty old Hush Puppy loafers without socks.      He had not packed dress shoes and by the time I realized it, we were running late for the show, no time to go shopping.  He is famous for wearing jeans and sneakers to church and funerals, etc.  Being with him was really embarrassing sometimes, and he refused to listen to my advice.

This man also hated to shave, so he often went around with that three-day beard growth thing.  OK in the eighties when Don Johnson sported it, not OK for him or for modern times.

I don't know what to advise, but you have my complete empathy and understanding!

How interesting!  We were married to the same person!!!!