Author Topic: Housewarming Shower/Party - Ugh!  (Read 4105 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Winterlight

  • On the internet, no one can tell you're a dog- arf.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9433
Re: Housewarming Shower/Party - Ugh!
« Reply #30 on: August 21, 2013, 12:03:31 PM »
For housewarmings I do bread and salt or wine. I am not buying big ticket items- that is the homeowner's job.
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

sparksals

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 17262
Re: Housewarming Shower/Party - Ugh!
« Reply #31 on: August 21, 2013, 12:05:24 PM »
This is dictionary definition of: GIFT GRAB.

KimodoDragon

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 53
Re: Housewarming Shower/Party - Ugh!
« Reply #32 on: August 21, 2013, 12:07:17 PM »
Less than two years ago, the couple got married.  So less than two years ago, they received big ticket household items, plus gift cards and checks for buying anything that was still needed.  (I'm ignoring the baby gifts since that is a totally different category of stuff.)  If this couple lived on their own, together or separately, like most modern couples do, then they already had a lot of household stuff.  How much more stuff do they really need?

This is not a housewarming.  It is a house shower.  This needs to be stamped out now.  Friend should send only regrets.  If she is invited to the new house for a normal occasion, then she can bring the traditional wine or flowers.

This was my point.  You said it much better than I! 

POD.

Scuba_Dog

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3343
Re: Housewarming Shower/Party - Ugh!
« Reply #33 on: August 21, 2013, 12:22:10 PM »
Less than two years ago, the couple got married.  So less than two years ago, they received big ticket household items, plus gift cards and checks for buying anything that was still needed.  (I'm ignoring the baby gifts since that is a totally different category of stuff.)  If this couple lived on their own, together or separately, like most modern couples do, then they already had a lot of household stuff.  How much more stuff do they really need?

This is not a housewarming.  It is a house shower.  This needs to be stamped out now.  Friend should send only regrets.  If she is invited to the new house for a normal occasion, then she can bring the traditional wine or flowers.

Total agreement!  (Although - the wedding and baby shower stuff doesn't even factor in for me.)

What ever happened to buying your own things - and if you can't, saving up for them until you can?  Furnish your own house, buy your own coffee maker and towels. 
"If you are going through hell, keep going."
Winston Churchill

MindsEye

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1017
Re: Housewarming Shower/Party - Ugh!
« Reply #34 on: August 21, 2013, 12:38:57 PM »
Are these people moving into this house straight from Mom's basement?  Shouldn't they already have furniture, pots, pans, towels, coffee maker, cookbooks, silverware, etc?  There is no rule that says they can't move their old stuff into the new house.

lowspark

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3090
Re: Housewarming Shower/Party - Ugh!
« Reply #35 on: August 21, 2013, 12:44:32 PM »
A housewarming was not intended ever to be a "Furnish my house shower," as his appears to be.

This

I would decline the invitation as its purpose seems to be gifts and I wouldn't want to give yet another gift.
And pretty much this.

I agree that the proximity to the wedding & baby shower has no bearing on the case other than that they are fresh in the memory since they're so recent. But giving a list of needed gifts for a housewarming is not OK in my book.

Now, the OP said her friend likes these people so it's up to her if she wants to overlook this blatant faux pas and attend the party, bringing either a token gift like a bottle of wine or nothing -- in other words, what she would have normally brought if no mention of gifts had been on the invitation.

I would either do that or not go, totally depending on how I feel about these people and their role in my life.

DottyG

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 18204
Re: Housewarming Shower/Party - Ugh!
« Reply #36 on: August 21, 2013, 01:23:25 PM »
The only things, even as a single woman, I needed when I got my apartment was furniture, and I hope to goodness they didn't register for that.

Sadly, I know of someone that did register for those kinds of things for her wedding.  Along with 6 tvs and some other stuff.


Who is tarnation needs six TVs?!

LOL!  Heck if I know!  Trust me, the registry was passed around at work so that everyone's jaw could drop a bit at it! :D

(Not to say that having 6 tvs in your home is wrong - I know that some people do have tvs in multiple rooms of their house, so 6 isn't an unheard of number.  But you don't register for all of them for your wedding.  It seems like there may be higher priorities than immediately getting 6 tv sets.)


Daydream

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 253
Re: Housewarming Shower/Party - Ugh!
« Reply #37 on: August 21, 2013, 02:07:44 PM »
I don't think your friend should worry about looking like a "jerk" for giving a gift card in that amount.  I can see why that might seem small if the couple and all of their friends and family are wealthy.  Maybe that's the case here.  But for me and most people I know well, that would be considered a nice housewarming gift.

Last Christmas, someone gave me a bottle of white wine.  This person drinks wine with their dinner most nights, and raved about how it was one of their favorites.   I hardly every drink alcohol, so it took about six months for me to use it when I decided to make a recipe that called for it.  I also served it to drink with the meal and it was delicious, so I made a note of the name. 

A couple of months later when I wanted to make that dish again, I went to buy the wine and found that it cost $6!  I never would have guessed it was that inexpensive and it was a very nice gift indeed.  So a $20 gift card is worth more than three bottles of that wine.

Of course, I also think it's fine for the friend to just not attend the housewarming at all.

I understand that it can be overwhelming to keep buying gifts for the same couple over a short span of time.  I know a young woman, "Susan," who had a baby and broke up with the child's father shortly after baby was born, started dating someone else and was expecting her second baby to be due close to the first child's second birthday.   The children are the same gender.  Susan and her boyfriend were living with relatives but were able to move out into their own apartment shortly before the second baby was due.  They also decided to get married at the courthouse with only their parents and grandparents present, but sent out an announcement with photos via email.

Within about a six or eight week span, they had the following events:  Baby shower for the second baby  ("Because it's my boyfriend's first baby!"), oldest child's second birthday party, housewarming party, and wedding.  I don't remember the actual order of those events and I didn't attend any since they live a four-hour drive away.  I sent a gift for the birthday party along with one gift to serve as a combo housewarming/wedding present, and sent the newborn a present either before or after the shower since I was going to send them one anyway. 

This couple had their first anniversary a few months ago and sent out a group email asking that since their friends and family know they didn't have a "real wedding" or honeymoon, maybe we could chip in $50 each so they could have a honeymoon now?

I don't think that worked out well, because about a month after that, they sent out another email stating that since that seemed too much for most people to contribute, maybe we could each give $10 because they really need better pots and pans.  LOL

I was already trying to figure out what amount in toy store gift cards I wanted to send for each child's birthday when I received that first email, and that's all I sent.

fountainof

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 567
Re: Housewarming Shower/Party - Ugh!
« Reply #38 on: August 21, 2013, 03:59:38 PM »
Quote
This couple had their first anniversary a few months ago and sent out a group email asking that since their friends and family know they didn't have a "real wedding" or honeymoon, maybe we could chip in $50 each so they could have a honeymoon now?

I don't think that worked out well, because about a month after that, they sent out another email stating that since that seemed too much for most people to contribute, maybe we could each give $10 because they really need better pots and pans.  LOL
That is too funny.  Some people just don't get it.

z_squared82

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 288
Re: Housewarming Shower/Party - Ugh!
« Reply #39 on: August 21, 2013, 04:10:11 PM »
The only things, even as a single woman, I needed when I got my apartment was furniture, and I hope to goodness they didn't register for that.

Sadly, I know of someone that did register for those kinds of things for her wedding.  Along with 6 tvs and some other stuff.


Who is tarnation needs six TVs?!

LOL!  Heck if I know!  Trust me, the registry was passed around at work so that everyone's jaw could drop a bit at it! :D


My family raised our collective eyebrow at one of my cousin's registries. They registered at The Red Bullseye and had things like baby books, scrapbooking paper, bottled water and frozen chicken. I almost bought her the chocolate syrup they registered for as a bachelorette party gift.  ;)

(Turns out Cousin thought she would use the baby books in her counseling practice, she wanted to make a scrap book of the wedding activities and they registered while they were hungry.)

snowdragon

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2200
Re: Housewarming Shower/Party - Ugh!
« Reply #40 on: August 21, 2013, 04:11:16 PM »
Quote
Baby shower for the second baby  ("Because it's my boyfriend's first baby!"), oldest child's second birthday party, housewarming party, and wedding.  I don't remember the actual order of those events and I didn't attend any since they live a four-hour drive away.  I sent a gift for the birthday party along with one gift to serve as a combo housewarming/wedding present, and sent the newborn a present either before or after the shower since I was going to send them one anyway.

  I see you know my brother's stepson and his Fiancee.  To make it worse with them - we only see the stepson when we go to a restaurant he manages - or gifts are in order.  Any other time, he does not even acknowledge us - and could not be bothered to so much as send an email when my dad died.  I am not sending a gift to the newest occasion.

NyaChan

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3944
Re: Housewarming Shower/Party - Ugh!
« Reply #41 on: August 21, 2013, 06:01:58 PM »
My all time "favorite" is the couple that registered for men's green underwear.

earthgirl

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 149
Re: Housewarming Shower/Party - Ugh!
« Reply #42 on: August 22, 2013, 10:02:19 AM »


(Turns out Cousin thought she would use the baby books in her counseling practice, she wanted to make a scrap book of the wedding activities and they registered while they were hungry.)

We got a lot of comments about the fact that we put a Snickers bar on our wedding registry.  My husband was overjoyed when my uncle actually sent it to us.

I confess to having a wedding shower, housewarming, and baby shower all within 16 months.  That's the way my life happened.  But we were embarrassed when people showed up with gifts to the housewarming, we had not been expecting it -- we called it a housewarming but really meant, "Come see our new place!"