General Etiquette > Dating

What part of too far out of the way do you not understand?

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SCMagnolia:
My friend fixed me up with a guy she works with.  We've gone out once and had a pretty nice time.  He asked me to go with him to see his friend's band play tomorrow evening.  The band is playing at a local park about 15 miles from where I work. Yet he wants me to drive 40 miles out of my way to meet him just to ride back to the park with him to see the show.  Since I won't have time to go home after work, this means I'd have to make the trip back to my car with him and then drive about SEVENTY miles back home.  I explained this and told him that the park is very close to my work (and quite honestly would only be about 10 miles out of his way if he wanted to meet me at work to go to the show.)   He told me that he didn't know how to get to where I work, which I find inexcusable since there are such things as GPS's and Google Maps.  Plus, where I work is right off the main highway, so it's a straight shot and easy to find.  He even balked at that, saying "well, you know I hate driving on the main roads around here because traffic is so bad."  Finally, I told him that I'd just meet him at said park since it was so close by to my work.  He got all bent out of shape about how he really wanted me to ride with him to the show, and he's all kinds of insistent that I make this absolutely unnecessary drive to meet him.   I am about thisclose to telling him to forget it.  Can I still get out of this?  I really don't see much of a future with this guy if he's this clueless!

Judah:

--- Quote from: SCMagnolia on August 20, 2013, 01:44:22 PM ---I am about thisclose to telling him to forget it.  Can I still get out of this?  I really don't see much of a future with this guy if he's this clueless!

--- End quote ---

I would tell him "never mind". He's not listening to you and that would be an issue for me.

LazyDaisy:
I agree with Judah.

He's not clueless, he's selfish. He's not in the least bit concerned for your comfort or convenience, just his. People are usually on their best behavior at the beginning of dating -- so if this is his best, you probably don't want to stick around for his worst.

JenJay:
If you've otherwise liked him I'd try one more time just in case he somehow doesn't realize how far that drive would be for you.

"Okay wait, am I understanding you correctly? You want me to drive 80 miles round trip to your house and back so that you don't have to drive 10 miles extra to (your job) or meet me at the park? I appreciate that you'd like to have the drive to chat and get to know each other better, but I don't want to drive 40 miles to your place just to hop in your car and come back here, then do it all again after the concert."

If he continues to insist I'd be done with him. Somebody who is that insistent, stubborn and inconsiderate on a 2nd date is only going to get worse.

Jones:
I'd worry about any little surprises in the future and how he'd deal with them, as he can't seem to take others' needs, suggestions and plan changes into account.

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