Author Topic: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?  (Read 5693 times)

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Thipu1

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #15 on: August 21, 2013, 09:25:43 AM »
Is it just me or does a potluck for 200 people sound like an exercise in maddness?

The few potlucks I've been to have been about 25 people, tops.

Also, I don't see anything wrong with bringing a few good, rotisserie chickens to a potluck.  At one potluck I attended, someone brought a big platter of sushi and I know she didn't make that herself. 

Kiara

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #16 on: August 21, 2013, 09:37:04 AM »
She lost me the second she said it didn't matter if you were a vegetarian...cook the meat if asked.

Um, no.

Venus193

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #17 on: August 21, 2013, 09:57:36 AM »
Is it just me or does a potluck for 200 people sound like an exercise in maddness?

The few potlucks I've been to have been about 25 people, tops.

Also, I don't see anything wrong with bringing a few good, rotisserie chickens to a potluck.  At one potluck I attended, someone brought a big platter of sushi and I know she didn't make that herself.

It is. 

My last company had a potluck Christmas; it was 30 people or so.

Sharnita

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #18 on: August 21, 2013, 10:02:52 AM »
I've been to church potlucks for 200 (or more) people. As far as a vegetarian cooking meat, I'd say generally "no", although if they made the choice for health reasons then it shouldn't be a problem.

amylouky

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #19 on: August 21, 2013, 10:14:12 AM »
She lost me the second she said it didn't matter if you were a vegetarian...cook the meat if asked.

Um, no.

Yeah, that one got me, too. I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't expect a vegetarian to grill the burgers at a potluck. Even if it isn't for ethical reasons, sometimes people can get sick from the smell of meat if they aren't used to eating it. I do think, however, that if a vegetarian were asked to grill the burgers, they should definitely offer to do something else rather than just say, "Sorry, can't.."

Goosey

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #20 on: August 21, 2013, 10:26:12 AM »
Is it normal to expect the guests to cook the meat?

ladyknight1

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #21 on: August 21, 2013, 10:29:01 AM »
Yes, this sounds like something for a specific group. The largest pot luck I have attended was about 100 people, and other than making sure young children and their parents went first, before the ravenous pre-teens and teenagers, everything went smoothly. I think that if any cooking goes on during a potluck, it is in a slow cooker or warmer.

I think store bought items are okay, as long as the person does not always contribute one bag of chips and a container of dip, or two two-liter sodas (examples from work and a social club). It begins to feel like they are taking advantage for many, not my opinion, but one I have heard many times.

I find it in very poor taste to take more than one plate of food before everyone has gone through, we ended up having to approach a co-worker that wanted to make a plate for her spouse during the first pass (he doesn't work here) at every event. She is also one of the front of the line people every time.

snowdragon

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #22 on: August 21, 2013, 10:33:11 AM »
I think first come first serve, and make sure you leave enough for everyone should be the rule. It seems wrong to say to singles and teens who come alone that "you are good enough to provide food, but not good enough to have an equal chance at being first - and there for the prime dishes, because you are alone." Is wrong and very rude.

ladyknight1

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #23 on: August 21, 2013, 10:37:37 AM »
Unfortunately in our case, if the teens go through first, there is not much left for anyone else. Since their families are contributing the dishes at these events, we let special guests go first (the families since they don't normally attend the club activities), and then all the teens.

The teens decided to do it that way, so the little ones can be out of the way and fewer chances of accidents. Also, the first few times, when the teens went through first, there were no proteins left, they had taken more than one portion.

DaisyG

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #24 on: August 21, 2013, 10:38:21 AM »
There also may be a safety issue with a vegetarian cooking the meat as they may not know when it's done (which is a concern with things like chicken).

My church stopped having potlucks when we got to 300. Now the church pays a company to cater with salads and grilled burgers and sausages. I stopped attending these events after queuing for over an hour (to let children and elderly people through first) and then finding there was nothing I could eat (as a veggie myself) except plain rice. At which point I left and went to a nearby supermarket.

Sharnita

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #25 on: August 21, 2013, 10:44:32 AM »
I am.not sure I agree that "condiments don't count". Somebody brings ketchup, mustard, relush, chopped onion, bbq sauce- I do think I am going to count that. I probably will count it if somebody brings all the paper plates, napkins, silverwear, cups too.

Winterlight

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #26 on: August 21, 2013, 10:54:22 AM »
I grew up in a potluck kind of place- my shul always does them for big events.

1 & 2. Yes.
3. Usually the host supplies them, but I don't think they can't count.
4 & 5. Yes, you should help, but making the vegetarian cook burgers is ridiculous.
6. Somebody's got to be first in line. And usually people didn't start lining up till the food was out.
7-10. Yes. But lose the snippy attitude, author.

11-14. Yes
15. Depends on the potluck. Some we did dishes there, some we didn't. I guess the rule is to know which kind it is.
16. Isn't there usually some kind of sign-up?
17-20. Yes.
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Bexx27

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #27 on: August 21, 2013, 11:02:54 AM »
As baglady said, this sounds like an event put on by an organization rather than a regular friends/family potluck gathering. My DD's annual school picnic used to work this way. The school supplies the meat, each family brings a side dish or dessert, and one adult from each family signs up for a shift either cooking meat or helping with setup/cleanup. It is certainly annoying when people don't do their part. One year DH was stuck at the grill for 3 shifts instead of 1 because the 2 other parents didn't bother to cover their shifts. For the past 2 years the school has gotten pre-cooked chicken platters instead of asking parents to grill the meat.

I agree that everyone needs to bring something to a potluck, but I can never relate to complaints about not having enough food. I've never been to a potluck that didn't have a ton of leftovers. I actually think it's fine for some people to bring things like condiments and plates as long as there's some basic coordination and you don't end up with 50 bottles of ketchup and no hot dogs. I attended a potluck earlier this summer where no one had brought paper plates and the host was scrambling to find and wash dishes. It also depends on the invitation; if you're specifically told to bring a dish, then bring a dish.

Most of her points make sense, but I strongly disagree that vegetarians should have to cook meat.
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pierrotlunaire0

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #28 on: August 21, 2013, 11:36:09 AM »
There also may be a safety issue with a vegetarian cooking the meat as they may not know when it's done (which is a concern with things like chicken).


That was my thought as well.  Also, a meat dish (Swedish meatballs, for example) which requires mixing meat and non-meat ingredients may be difficult for the vegetarian.  You can't taste to make sure the seasoning is correct.
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NyaChan

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #29 on: August 21, 2013, 11:42:07 AM »
If there weren't so many references to beer in that list, I'd post this at our masjid's community center.  We get people who come, eat, socialize, and then leave without lifting a finger to help the old faithfuls with the setting up or cleaning up.  My mom got fed up with it at our last Eid and went to each group saying "Please clean up your plates from the table - here is a trash bag."