Author Topic: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?  (Read 7646 times)

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heartmug

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #30 on: August 21, 2013, 12:26:21 PM »
I am.not sure I agree that "condiments don't count". Somebody brings ketchup, mustard, relush, chopped onion, bbq sauce- I do think I am going to count that. I probably will count it if somebody brings all the paper plates, napkins, silverwear, cups too.

POD.  Now if someone just shows up with a bottle of ketchup, um No.  But I have provided the ketchup, mustard, mayo, bbq sauce, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and pickles for a potluck whose main dish was hamburgers.

Also, I agree about bring more than enough for your family size.  At our dd's school events about 5 years ago they had to start announcing "if you have 4 kids bring more than the person with 1 kid" or something to that effect at the dessert potluck on the last day of school.  I thought that was common sense.
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Joeschmo

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #31 on: August 21, 2013, 01:01:50 PM »
My comment didn't save earlier.

But I'd make an addition. If you know you're not well, stay home. I was at a potluck where one of the guests ended up having hepatitis. All the guests had to get hep shots the next day. That rule should be common sense, but it apparently isn't.


Not a fun memory of the otherwise fun event.

Chronic illness is isolating enough.  To my knowledge unless you're parties include handling each others feces for type A or coming into contact with each others blood or engaging in unprotected sex for type B or C you are highly unlikely to spread hepatitis.  If I am wrong please let me know where to find the info you did because I couldn't find any indicating spread through casual contact. 

jaxsue

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #32 on: August 21, 2013, 01:06:01 PM »
I grew up in Baptist churches in the midwest. Since dancing, drinking, and smoking weren't allowed, we went all out for potluck dinners!  :) Aside from the jello-with-mayo dishes (who thought that up, I want to know), they were awesome.

Then I found out that not every potluck is done that well. I remember the small church I attended in Florida, where magically, a certain family would triple in size every time there was a potluck dinner. And they didn't bring anything!

A potluck (or DOG - dinner on the ground, in the south), done well, is a wonderful thing.

jaxsue

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #33 on: August 21, 2013, 01:06:24 PM »
She lost me the second she said it didn't matter if you were a vegetarian...cook the meat if asked.

Um, no.

I'd never ask a vegetarian to cook meat.

jaxsue

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #34 on: August 21, 2013, 01:07:16 PM »
Is it just me or does a potluck for 200 people sound like an exercise in maddness?

The few potlucks I've been to have been about 25 people, tops.

Also, I don't see anything wrong with bringing a few good, rotisserie chickens to a potluck.  At one potluck I attended, someone brought a big platter of sushi and I know she didn't make that herself.

I used to attend a Pres church with almost 1,000 members. They tried to do potlucks. It just didn't work. Too many people, not enough food, too much chaos.

jaxsue

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #35 on: August 21, 2013, 01:07:57 PM »
Is it normal to expect the guests to cook the meat?

I've never been to a potluck that required cooking meat. Everyone brought their food already prepared.

jaxsue

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #36 on: August 21, 2013, 01:10:53 PM »
I think first come first serve, and make sure you leave enough for everyone should be the rule. It seems wrong to say to singles and teens who come alone that "you are good enough to provide food, but not good enough to have an equal chance at being first - and there for the prime dishes, because you are alone." Is wrong and very rude.

My dad was a minister and made the rules for our church's potluck dinners. First, the elderly went through, then people with very young children. Then, families (and single people were a family). Teens were with their family or a friend's family, generally. If they weren't, they just went through with the family group. The chances of a 15-yr-old bringing a dish were nil, if memory serves me.

It worked well.

jaxsue

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #37 on: August 21, 2013, 01:11:44 PM »
Regardless of the group, regardless of the event,  it seems to be a law of nature that 10 percent of the members will wind up doing 90 percent of the work.

Sadly, true.

darkprincess

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #38 on: August 21, 2013, 01:24:47 PM »
My comment didn't save earlier.

But I'd make an addition. If you know you're not well, stay home. I was at a potluck where one of the guests ended up having hepatitis. All the guests had to get hep shots the next day. That rule should be common sense, but it apparently isn't.


Not a fun memory of the otherwise fun event.

Chronic illness is isolating enough.  To my knowledge unless you're parties include handling each others feces for type A or coming into contact with each others blood or engaging in unprotected sex for type B or C you are highly unlikely to spread hepatitis.  If I am wrong please let me know where to find the info you did because I couldn't find any indicating spread through casual contact.

Unfortunately some types of Hepatitis is spread in potlucks because someone doesn't wash their hand after using the restroom. If the first person in line at a potluck makes dish A (without properly washing their hands) everyone who eats dish A will be exposed. Then the person (without properly washing their hands) might touch each serving utensal, which is then touched by everyone else in line, and they are all now exposed. http://hepatitis.about.com/od/hepatitisa/a/HAVspread.htm

Joeschmo

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #39 on: August 21, 2013, 01:40:03 PM »
My comment didn't save earlier.

But I'd make an addition. If you know you're not well, stay home. I was at a potluck where one of the guests ended up having hepatitis. All the guests had to get hep shots the next day. That rule should be common sense, but it apparently isn't.


Not a fun memory of the otherwise fun event.

Chronic illness is isolating enough.  To my knowledge unless you're parties include handling each others feces for type A or coming into contact with each others blood or engaging in unprotected sex for type B or C you are highly unlikely to spread hepatitis.  If I am wrong please let me know where to find the info you did because I couldn't find any indicating spread through casual contact.

Unfortunately some types of Hepatitis is spread in potlucks because someone doesn't wash their hand after using the restroom. If the first person in line at a potluck makes dish A (without properly washing their hands) everyone who eats dish A will be exposed. Then the person (without properly washing their hands) might touch each serving utensal, which is then touched by everyone else in line, and they are all now exposed. http://hepatitis.about.com/od/hepatitisa/a/HAVspread.htm

I was aware of the hand washing issue which still isn't reason to stay home as long as you follow basic hygiene.  Thank you for mentioning this though because I think my post was oversimplified.  I was offended because I've lived with a family member with Hep C and worked in home with a client with Hep B and the stigma of having hepatitis was bad enough without being told they need to stay at home.

Minmom3

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #40 on: August 21, 2013, 01:41:36 PM »
I think the larger the head count, the more sternly structured a pot luck needs to be.  When we had our annual 4-H potluck, our 'dime-a-dip', what you brought was dictated by your place in the alphabet.  What that section of the alphabet brought rotated over the years, so nobody was stuck bringing the same kind of thing year after year.  So, A-F brought a main course to feed X number of people, plus serving utensils.  G-N brought a side, hot or cold or baked, plus serving utensils.  O-whatever brought deserts, plus utensils to serve AND any necessary chilling needs and if it had to be served in a bowl, you had to bring X number of bowls too.  A smaller designated group would bring drinks, and the club supplied the plates, eating utensils (if you didn't choose to bring stainless from home), and cups for drinks.  Nobody HAD to cook, a store bought or restaurant bought item was fine, as long as it fit your category.  It being 4-H, it was expected and demanded that everybody help set up and clean up, and people/families who ducked out of this were spoken to later on.  I've been to very few work potlucks, but that's where I've seen the worst cheaters show up and pig out, and where the food categories are way off balance.
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snowdragon

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #41 on: August 21, 2013, 01:45:26 PM »
I think first come first serve, and make sure you leave enough for everyone should be the rule. It seems wrong to say to singles and teens who come alone that "you are good enough to provide food, but not good enough to have an equal chance at being first - and there for the prime dishes, because you are alone." Is wrong and very rude.

 

My dad was a minister and made the rules for our church's potluck dinners. First, the elderly went through, then people with very young children. Then, families (and single people were a family). Teens were with their family or a friend's family, generally. If they weren't, they just went through with the family group. The chances of a 15-yr-old bringing a dish were nil, if memory serves me.

It worked well.

As a Single I would have resigned from your church then and there.  And I would not be shy about answering why or taking my dish home with me ( since I don't use disposables, I would not leave a good ceramic dish behind )  Expecting one group to always have the leavings of others, is rude.

KenveeB

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #42 on: August 21, 2013, 01:47:42 PM »
I think first come first serve, and make sure you leave enough for everyone should be the rule. It seems wrong to say to singles and teens who come alone that "you are good enough to provide food, but not good enough to have an equal chance at being first - and there for the prime dishes, because you are alone." Is wrong and very rude.

 

My dad was a minister and made the rules for our church's potluck dinners. First, the elderly went through, then people with very young children. Then, families (and single people were a family). Teens were with their family or a friend's family, generally. If they weren't, they just went through with the family group. The chances of a 15-yr-old bringing a dish were nil, if memory serves me.

It worked well.

As a Single I would have resigned from your church then and there.  And I would not be shy about answering why or taking my dish home with me ( since I don't use disposables, I would not leave a good ceramic dish behind )  Expecting one group to always have the leavings of others, is rude.

That was my first thought as well. That doesn't sound very welcoming!

DottyG

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #43 on: August 21, 2013, 02:03:41 PM »
Joeschmoe, I didn't want to get the thread derailed on medical stuff, but I did send a PM that explains things a bit more.
 
My post earlier was just a personal example of something that happened that illustrated a point I was trying to make.  But I wasn't saying that chronically ill people need to be sequestered.  You are correct in your reply.
 
 
« Last Edit: August 21, 2013, 02:05:49 PM by DottyG »

lowspark

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Re: Potluck Etiquette Opinions?
« Reply #44 on: August 21, 2013, 02:07:02 PM »
I didn't get this article at all. None of what she describes sounds like any pot luck I've ever been to and I've been to (and hosted) tons.

A pot luck is normally a reasonably manageable number of people/families (200? No way!) who bring prepared dishes to share. Everyone plops their dish on the table with a minimum (if any) amount of prep on the scene and within 15 minutes of meeting time, we start eating.

Cooking meat? Asking vegetarians to grill burgers? Volunteer shifts?
Never heard of any of that.

The biggest pot lucks I've been to were when my kids were cub scouts. End of year Pack pool party involved about 30-35 families IIRC. And yeah, people would bring fried chicken from the Popeye's down the street from the pool. And storebought cookies. And much more elaborate stuff too. But no one seemed to mind. There was tons of food and nobody went hungry. And no one cooked, grilled or volunteered to work. We all just pitched in. That's what a pot luck really is.