Potluck Etiquette Opinions?

[Sharnita]

But isn't that just as true for everyone? How are those things more true for some people at the potluck than others? And if the food will be cold if the caregivers are last to get through the line, isn't that also true if able bodied adults are last?

[Goosey]

But it's ok for those with out young kids or elderly folks to always have that "very little left" that you mention, all the time?  There is a limited amount  of everything. Everyone contributed - some more than other proportionately- everyone therefor should have the same chances at first,last, and middle.

If there's very little left all the time, the problem is with the AMOUNT of contributions, not who got to go first.

same could be said  in the reverse - if the teen go first and there is not enough left for the elderly - then the problem is the AMOUNT not who got to go first.

So, what's the problem? That those horrible less-abled people are getting first picks? If everyone gets to eat, everyone gets to eat. If you resent the elderly, disabled and children for having more varied choices than you, I frankly think that says a lot more about you than about an institution that values compassion and supports those who need it.

If you want first pick, your only guarantee, as a previous poster said, is a restaurant. Pot lucks are not for you.

[snowdragon]

But it's ok for those with out young kids or elderly folks to always have that "very little left" that you mention, all the time?  There is a limited amount  of everything. Everyone contributed - some more than other proportionately- everyone therefor should have the same chances at first,last, and middle.

If there's very little left all the time, the problem is with the AMOUNT of contributions, not who got to go first.

same could be said  in the reverse - if the teen go first and there is not enough left for the elderly - then the problem is the AMOUNT not who got to go first.

So, what's the problem? That those horrible less-abled people are getting first picks? If everyone gets to eat, everyone gets to eat. If you resent the elderly, disabled and children for having more varied choices than you, I frankly think that says a lot more about you than about an institution that values compassion and supports those who need it.

If you want first pick, your only guarantee, as a previous poster said, is a restaurant. Pot lucks are not for you.

Lets say at a potluck the organizers say those needing assistance, whether elderly, disabled or small kids have to go last. Would that be ok?
  Would it be ok if it continued that way for years?

[Goosey]

Because it's gracious to let those not as able as you go first. It shows empathy and humanity to acknowledge that they have it harder than you at this point and they need some support and assistance. It's supporting someone who needs it, not putting them above people on this imaginary human hierarchy of disabled vs. single people. If it's more important that you get the "best" stuff than show compassion for your fellow man who aren't as able as you, well - that really says a lot.

It's a potluck. Unless it's the last potluck before the Apocalypse, I promise you it won't be the last time you go to one. It's called a pot luck because you never know what you're going to get. If there's never enough food, that's one thing, but the idea that all the "best" things are taken by the disabled, elderly and children when they get to go in line ahead of you is eye-roll worthy.

Quoting myself. I don't think human compassion is an etiquette violation.

ETA: Also, I would encourage people with small children to go first. Hungry children are unhappy children. Unhappy children are loud children. I think it benefits everyone to make sure small kids have full bellies while others are eating up!

[Yvaine]

If you really don't want to make a gracious gesture to people who need extra assistance - well, then I'm thinking attending church functions aren't big on you todo list anyway.

I think you'll find plenty of people who believe in accommodating the less-abled even among those of us who don't go to church. 

[blahblahblah]

And if the food will be cold if the caregivers are last to get through the line, isn't that also true if able bodied adults are last?

People have pointed out that, proportionally speaking, there are generally few elderly/disabled/young kids compared to the general populace. So while a disabled person might take a bit longer to get their food, on the whole it probably takes the disabled group less time to get their food than EVERYONE in the general populace getting theirs. So no, the food will not have as much time to go cold if the able-bodied adults are last.

You know, when I board an airplane, it takes much, much, much longer for General Boarding to take their seats than it does for preboarding passengers.

Hungry children are unhappy children.

Ugh, yes. Let the little ones get their food first, I'd rather that than listen to them whine about how hungry they are.

 

[Visiting Crazy Town]

But it's ok for those with out young kids or elderly folks to always have that "very little left" that you mention, all the time?  There is a limited amount  of everything. Everyone contributed - some more than other proportionately- everyone therefor should have the same chances at first,last, and middle.

If there's very little left all the time, the problem is with the AMOUNT of contributions, not who got to go first.

same could be said  in the reverse - if the teen go first and there is not enough left for the elderly - then the problem is the AMOUNT not who got to go first.

So, what's the problem? That those horrible less-abled people are getting first picks? If everyone gets to eat, everyone gets to eat. If you resent the elderly, disabled and children for having more varied choices than you, I frankly think that says a lot more about you than about an institution that values compassion and supports those who need it.

If you want first pick, your only guarantee, as a previous poster said, is a restaurant. Pot lucks are not for you.

Lets say at a potluck the organizers say those needing assistance, whether elderly, disabled or small kids have to go last. Would that be ok?
  Would it be ok if it continued that way for years?

 If you  are truly so concern about going last them maybe you   should volunteer to assist someone going through the line ahead of you  so that  you  can get what  you  consider you "fair" share of the food.

[IDriveADodgeStratus]

But it's ok for those with out young kids or elderly folks to always have that "very little left" that you mention, all the time?  There is a limited amount  of everything. Everyone contributed - some more than other proportionately- everyone therefor should have the same chances at first,last, and middle.

If there's very little left all the time, the problem is with the AMOUNT of contributions, not who got to go first.

same could be said  in the reverse - if the teen go first and there is not enough left for the elderly - then the problem is the AMOUNT not who got to go first.

So, what's the problem? That those horrible less-abled people are getting first picks? If everyone gets to eat, everyone gets to eat. If you resent the elderly, disabled and children for having more varied choices than you, I frankly think that says a lot more about you than about an institution that values compassion and supports those who need it.

If you want first pick, your only guarantee, as a previous poster said, is a restaurant. Pot lucks are not for you.

Lets say at a potluck the organizers say those needing assistance, whether elderly, disabled or small kids have to go last. Would that be ok?
  Would it be ok if it continued that way for years?

I guess if it's their potluck, it's their rules. The ones who went last all the time could just deal with it I guess. Or go to Denny's.

[SlitherHiss]

Because it's gracious to let those not as able as you go first. It shows empathy and humanity to acknowledge that they have it harder than you at this point and they need some support and assistance. It's supporting someone who needs it, not putting them above people on this imaginary human hierarchy of disabled vs. single people. If it's more important that you get the "best" stuff than show compassion for your fellow man who aren't as able as you, well - that really says a lot.

It's a potluck. Unless it's the last potluck before the Apocalypse, I promise you it won't be the last time you go to one. It's called a pot luck because you never know what you're going to get. If there's never enough food, that's one thing, but the idea that all the "best" things are taken by the disabled, elderly and children when they get to go in line ahead of you is eye-roll worthy.

Beautifully put, Goosey.

Thanks 

(P.S. Your snake looks very fine in a top hat and monocle. Perhaps he would like to join my goose for tea sometime?  )

Haha! That sounds lovely.

[BarensMom]

I don't care for potlucks in general, so don't have an opinion on any of it.

All I know is that if you all keep snarking at each other, someone is going to get banned.

[Goosey]

I don't care for potlucks in general, so don't have an opinion on any of it.

All I know is that if you all keep snarking at each other, someone is going to get banned.

I would hope that a mod would jump in first? I know cass### has been in this thread - perhaps she's monitoring it to make sure people don't go too far.

[cass2591]

Yes I'm here and round and round we go, therefore locked.