Author Topic: Deleting a non-inflammatory FB comment: do you ask why?  (Read 3726 times)

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GrammarNerd

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Deleting a non-inflammatory FB comment: do you ask why?
« on: August 21, 2013, 12:46:14 AM »
Recently, a couple of my FB friends have commented about the same topic.  The gist of their post was an offshoot of a topic in which I have an interest.  I asked them for more information because I was truly interested. 

For the first one, the poster just ignored my comment for more information.  OK....fine.  I'm disappointed, but I can live with that.  I wasn't going to hijack his post and badger him or something.

But then another friend commented on the same offshoot, and I again asked for more information on the offshoot.  That's all.  I saw the thread later, and then saw that my comment was no longer there.  So he deleted it?  Why?  Seriously, it was NOTHING inflammatory or controversial at all! 

How do other people handle it when you see a comment that you made to someone's thread/post has been deleted?  Do you ignore it?  Contact the person who probably deleted it?

katycoo

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Re: Deleting a non-inflammatory FB comment: do you ask why?
« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2013, 01:44:39 AM »
I would assume thatthey do not have a reliable source of further informaiton to provide to you and are embarassed by this (for whatever reason).  i'd let it drop.

MrsJWine

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Re: Deleting a non-inflammatory FB comment: do you ask why?
« Reply #2 on: August 21, 2013, 01:53:55 AM »
I'm not sure from your description if this is what might have happened, but there have been a couple of times where I've deleted a thread because it was easier to just get rid of it than to excise only the inoffensive/innocuous/shocking posts.

This is kind of an extreme example, but I once posted something inane (that's how I like to keep Facebook). A couple of friends posted funny responses. And then another friend, who I'm certain was still in shock and just not thinking about context AT ALL, posted that her son had just died and she would be out of town for a while. I seriously thought it was the worst joke ever for a while. I didn't really know how to handle it. I didn't want to delete just her comment because that seemed really cold, and I also didn't want more funny comments to show up under her horrible announcement. So I just got rid of that status altogether. It seemed like the kindest and easiest thing to do. So maybe this person saw that getting rid of a whole branch of the conversation was easiest, and it wasn't about your comment at all.


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CreteGirl

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Re: Deleting a non-inflammatory FB comment: do you ask why?
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2013, 04:40:51 PM »
I have accidentally deleted someone's comment that I was reading from my IPod.  It is possible they did not mean to.  But in any event, I would just let it go.

MommyPenguin

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Re: Deleting a non-inflammatory FB comment: do you ask why?
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2013, 04:44:44 PM »
It's also possible that they knew the comment would somehow touch a nerve, or something, and they didn't want to go there.  Maybe not for you, but for somebody else.  Or maybe the offshoot was something that the other people did together, didn't want to include any others, but didn't want to talk about in front of somebody not included, and so they thought it better not to respond and to delete your comment when you asked again.  It's a long shot.  But even if they weren't talking about an event.  Like maybe the conversation was about line art, and somebody mentioned stamping.  You asked about stamping, and nobody wanted to respond because they're all in a group that does stamping together, they don't want new members, and they didn't know anything to say that wouldn't be talking about it in front of you.

JenJay

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Re: Deleting a non-inflammatory FB comment: do you ask why?
« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2013, 04:51:36 PM »
I wondered if he thought you were asking in an "I find that hard to believe, please cite your sources" sort of way and didn't realize you were genuinely interested in learning more about the topic.

veronaz

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Re: Deleting a non-inflammatory FB comment: do you ask why?
« Reply #6 on: August 22, 2013, 04:55:18 PM »
If you want to know why the person deleted the post, you should ask them via private message.  Although some have speculated, there is no way anyone else would know.

As far as whether I would ask, it would depend on the post and the person who deleted it. 
« Last Edit: August 22, 2013, 05:10:24 PM by veronaz »

penelope2017

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Re: Deleting a non-inflammatory FB comment: do you ask why?
« Reply #7 on: August 22, 2013, 05:30:01 PM »
Maybe the person didn't feel like getting deeper into the topic than they already were? I think generally if you make a request on a thread that is ignored for whatever reason, it's probably advisable to not post the same request again. It starts feel like a nuisance.

I have a regular poster on my wall that rarely says anything controversial but tends to comment on every single status I put up and often throws off the flow of conversation or rhythm with her contributions. She tends to miss social cues or conversational cues. If I posted something and she asked a question that I didn't feel like getting into, and then asked the same question I'd probably delete the second comment also. Things don't have to be inflammatory to be annoying or just generally socially awkward.

Not saying that this is you, but generally I think taking the social cue of your question not being answered the first time is probably advisable to not ask it again, you know? For whatever reason, no one felt like answering the question, and posting the question twice in the same thread raises it to awkward level.

GrammarNerd

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Re: Deleting a non-inflammatory FB comment: do you ask why?
« Reply #8 on: August 23, 2013, 12:13:58 AM »
Maybe the person didn't feel like getting deeper into the topic than they already were? I think generally if you make a request on a thread that is ignored for whatever reason, it's probably advisable to not post the same request again. It starts feel like a nuisance.

I have a regular poster on my wall that rarely says anything controversial but tends to comment on every single status I put up and often throws off the flow of conversation or rhythm with her contributions. She tends to miss social cues or conversational cues. If I posted something and she asked a question that I didn't feel like getting into, and then asked the same question I'd probably delete the second comment also. Things don't have to be inflammatory to be annoying or just generally socially awkward.

Not saying that this is you, but generally I think taking the social cue of your question not being answered the first time is probably advisable to not ask it again, you know? For whatever reason, no one felt like answering the question, and posting the question twice in the same thread raises it to awkward level.

Re: the bolded, it wasn't in the same thread at all.  Two different people made relatively the same comment, each in their own threads, and I commented on both of theirs.

Both of the FB friends serve in a volunteer capacity, and this capacity requires a certification exam.  Both friends were commenting on the exam, and how they don't like this one type of question (the offshoot topic).  The question was about an area in which I have an interest (and both of these friends know this).  So I asked what kind of questions they put on the exam about the offshoot topic, much like one student would ask another student, 'what types of algebra questions are on the ACT?'. A general answer would have been fine, and it was mere curiosity.  It was really just a very mundane question/topic, and I thought it was a bit OTT for the one person to actually delete my comment/question.  Not losing any sleep over it, but it always feels strange when someone deletes something that you posted, and you haven't a clue why.

artk2002

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Re: Deleting a non-inflammatory FB comment: do you ask why?
« Reply #9 on: August 23, 2013, 03:08:07 PM »
Are you sure that they deleted your comment and FB didn't just lose it? FB isn't designed as a transactionally secure system -- there's absolutely no guarantee that when you hit "Post", that text will absolutely and positively and always be recorded. Putting that kind of robustness into FB would cost them a lot of money and slow the system down. Neither of which make much business sense. It's a "best effort" and nothing more. There's no guarantee that FB won't lose something once it's been posted, either.

In other words, FB is not a dependable medium for communications.
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Goosey

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Re: Deleting a non-inflammatory FB comment: do you ask why?
« Reply #10 on: August 23, 2013, 03:09:55 PM »
Personally, I don't do anyone's research for them. If someone wants more information on what I've posted, unless it's something that I'm actively involved in and have references on hand, they should look it up themselves. Maybe that's where they're coming from?

Twik

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Re: Deleting a non-inflammatory FB comment: do you ask why?
« Reply #11 on: August 24, 2013, 12:00:09 AM »
Personally, I don't do anyone's research for them. If someone wants more information on what I've posted, unless it's something that I'm actively involved in and have references on hand, they should look it up themselves. Maybe that's where they're coming from?

That sounds like a bit of a conversation-killer.

"So, I hear you vacationed in Fiji. Is it hot this time of year?"

"You know, you could google that yourself."

Actually saying "I don't know," where appropriate, is much more polite than ignoring that someone is addressing you.
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shhh its me

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Re: Deleting a non-inflammatory FB comment: do you ask why?
« Reply #12 on: August 24, 2013, 12:21:29 PM »
   I wouldn't ask, it sort of like asking " ohh you have previous plans exactly what are they?"   FB isn't new but its still new enough that the etiquette is evolving still.   

AS to why they may have deleted I can think of a couple reasons.  They didn't want the discussion to get sidetracked into a question by question discussion or a debate   The person who deleted you comments knows the person you asked gives incorrect answers or gives long rambling answers.   So basiclay being a host and controlling the direction of the conversation.

I'm not implying you are guilty of this but I have known people who just keep going down a path once they start.  Using your questions as an example "what type of questions?'.......how did you answer , where did you fine the answers , was it a question like this or are they like that , how many questions are multiple choice , how many questions could you eliminated 2 of the answers right away, how long did you study , ect ect ect.  IT goes from one or two questions to a 2 hour tutoring  session , especially if its a difficult to get certification.   During a study session this may be ok but its too much if its a graduation party. Sort of like having a general discussion about movies and favorite scenes and a rabid star wars fans(I love stat wars and could have this discussion)wants to talk about ewoks for 2 hours.   Edited I didnt finish my thought ...If something like that happens a few times I can understand why someone would delete the first comment with "ewoks" in it .
« Last Edit: August 24, 2013, 12:36:11 PM by Merry Mrs Martin »

Goosey

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Re: Deleting a non-inflammatory FB comment: do you ask why?
« Reply #13 on: August 24, 2013, 04:37:56 PM »
Personally, I don't do anyone's research for them. If someone wants more information on what I've posted, unless it's something that I'm actively involved in and have references on hand, they should look it up themselves. Maybe that's where they're coming from?

That sounds like a bit of a conversation-killer.

"So, I hear you vacationed in Fiji. Is it hot this time of year?"

"You know, you could google that yourself."

Actually saying "I don't know," where appropriate, is much more polite than ignoring that someone is addressing you.

That's not what I'm referring to.

I'm referring to, say, when I post an article and someone wants more in depth information on the subject or persons in the article. Especially if they're trying to debate me, but they're not providing information to back up their statements.

And, if I just went to Fiji, that's information I have on hand. And I said "if it's something that I'm actively involved in" and have references on hand(including personal experience for a no-reference-needed conversation like that).

Yvaine

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Re: Deleting a non-inflammatory FB comment: do you ask why?
« Reply #14 on: August 24, 2013, 04:57:33 PM »
Personally, I don't do anyone's research for them. If someone wants more information on what I've posted, unless it's something that I'm actively involved in and have references on hand, they should look it up themselves. Maybe that's where they're coming from?

That sounds like a bit of a conversation-killer.

"So, I hear you vacationed in Fiji. Is it hot this time of year?"

"You know, you could google that yourself."

Actually saying "I don't know," where appropriate, is much more polite than ignoring that someone is addressing you.

That's not what I'm referring to.

I'm referring to, say, when I post an article and someone wants more in depth information on the subject or persons in the article. Especially if they're trying to debate me, but they're not providing information to back up their statements.

And, if I just went to Fiji, that's information I have on hand. And I said "if it's something that I'm actively involved in" and have references on hand(including personal experience for a no-reference-needed conversation like that).

Yeah, this. There are "making conversation" questions and then there's throwing up a metaphorical Citation Needed sign, which isn't necessarily always a bad idea (like when someone is repeating a false urban legend) but can come off as confrontational in some situations.