Author Topic: RSVP cards & postage  (Read 1586 times)

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gmama

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RSVP cards & postage
« on: August 25, 2013, 05:35:10 PM »
A friend of mine and I were having this discussion and were wondering what the proper thing to do is.   When you include an RSVP card and envelope with your invitation, assuming you've provided a stamped envelope (which I think is the proper thing to do), what do you do for invitations that are going overseas?  e.g. if I'm in CountryA and I send an invite to CountryB... do I provide CountryB invitee with money for return postage??

I'm assuming this dilemma is made easier nowadays with the option to email or telephone, but what did people used to do before the internet?

menley

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Re: RSVP cards & postage
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2013, 06:02:56 PM »
For my international guests, I just didn't attach postage - there wasn't a way for me to obtain the proper stamp from their country to mine. My husband and I mentioned to them when we sent the invitations (as the postal service is unreliable in their country, we wanted to give them a heads up to expect them) that they could just RSVP via e-mail or telephone, which they did.


It's not required by etiquette to include RSVP cards and postage to begin with - it's simply something that's done to improve the rate of people responding by making it as easy as possible for them - so if you leave out the response cards or postage, there's no etiquette violation.

Sharnita

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Re: RSVP cards & postage
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2013, 06:05:57 PM »
Doesn't the US now sell  an international version of the forever stamp?

Marguette

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Re: RSVP cards & postage
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2013, 06:13:17 PM »
There used to be a thing called an International Reply Coupon — do those still exist? You’d buy it in your post office, and your correspondent overseas could exchange it for their stamps at the post office in their country. However, it wouldn’t necessarily make it more convenient for them – it would still mean they’d have to make a trip to the post office.

Even so, I think that the tradition (even pre-email when all invitations and RVSPs were mailed) was to leave the return postage off overseas RVSPs.
« Last Edit: August 25, 2013, 06:16:28 PM by Marguette »

cattlekid

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Re: RSVP cards & postage
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2013, 06:26:16 PM »
We sent a few wedding invitations to Canada 10 years ago.  IIRC, we just begged some Canadian stamps from DH's relatives who travel there frequently. 

If I wouldn't have had that option, I think I would have gone with the option of leaving off the postage but providing a little note in the RSVP with alternative means of reaching us (email, phone etc.)

Millionaire Maria

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Re: RSVP cards & postage
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2013, 06:45:06 PM »
A friend of mine and I were having this discussion and were wondering what the proper thing to do is.   When you include an RSVP card and envelope with your invitation, assuming you've provided a stamped envelope (which I think is the proper thing to do), what do you do for invitations that are going overseas?  e.g. if I'm in CountryA and I send an invite to CountryB... do I provide CountryB invitee with money for return postage??

I'm assuming this dilemma is made easier nowadays with the option to email or telephone, but what did people used to do before the internet?

You are not under any obligation to provide postage for your guests. It is the guests' responsibility to RSVP, not the hosts.
People everywhere enjoy believing in things they know are not true. It spares them the ordeal of thinking for themselves and taking responsibility for what they know. –Brooks Atkinson

camlan

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Re: RSVP cards & postage
« Reply #6 on: August 25, 2013, 07:13:11 PM »
Technically, the RSVP cards are rude. They imply that those you have invited to your event would be so crass as to not respond to your invitation.

So there is not etiquette violation in not supplying either the cards or the postage.

Okay, I know the tradition has changed. But I just wanted to point out the older tradition, because sometimes knowing the roots of a tradition can help you out with the newer version of the tradition.

I don't even know if people in other countries use the RSVP cards. In places where they don't, I suspect no one would care if there was postage on the envelope or not.

I wouldn't go nuts trying to get stamps from other countries. Instead of the RSVP card, I'd include something that gave an email address and/or website to respond to, and leave it at that. In effect, going back to the older tradition, but with the modern twist of electronic communication instead of pen and paper communication.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


Bluenomi

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Re: RSVP cards & postage
« Reply #7 on: August 25, 2013, 07:13:29 PM »
We put stamps on the RSVPs for locals just to increase the chances of getting them back but didn't put anything on the international ones. We did give them the option of RSVPing by email as well though so they had a choice of paying for postage or emailing. Most ignored both options and rang MIL and told her instead (never mind she wasn't hosting and lives 1000km from us ) ::)

Sharnita

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Re: RSVP cards & postage
« Reply #8 on: August 25, 2013, 07:20:24 PM »
I actually think it depends. If you don't care how they respond you have no obligation to provode postage. Then they can call, email, snail mail, etc. However, of you really want the card backfor record keeping, whether it is a yes or no.

lowspark

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Re: RSVP cards & postage
« Reply #9 on: August 26, 2013, 09:25:44 AM »
Doesn't the US now sell  an international version of the forever stamp?

Yes, for sending from the US to other countries, not the other way around.

gmama

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Re: RSVP cards & postage
« Reply #10 on: August 26, 2013, 09:57:54 AM »
There used to be a thing called an International Reply Coupon — do those still exist? You’d buy it in your post office, and your correspondent overseas could exchange it for their stamps at the post office in their country. However, it wouldn’t necessarily make it more convenient for them – it would still mean they’d have to make a trip to the post office.


Thanks to Marguette for the above info!  I'm in Canada and checked with the Canada Post website.  Buried somewhere in the gov't info section is the info for purchasing International Reply Coupons.  I never even knew these things existed... learn something every day!  I also learned that Canada Post charges $5.50 for each coupon  :o :o   Thank goodness we have email and text nowadays. 

And thanks to the posters who pointed out that it's not necessary to include return postage.  In my discussion with my friend it was more of a, "If you wanted to be nice and do it... how would you???" kind of scenario.


eta: Here's the link to the info I found.  they can be used by any country that is a member of the Universal Postal Union.
http://www.canadapost.ca/cpo/mc/business/productsservices/atoz/irc.jsf
« Last Edit: August 26, 2013, 10:05:19 AM by gmama »