General Etiquette > Family and Children

s/o offended after snooping

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In response to the 'sister snooped and is offended' post, I have an example of something similar that I am wondering what to do about.

Since I got it, I take my iPad pretty much everywhere with me. It's in a case and rarely out of my reach. I don't have a PIN code on it because of that, and 98% of the time it's at home or in the nappy bag.

The other day I was at my cousin's house with Baby Wolverine and of course she decided that the best thing to do would be have simultaneous explosions at both ends. Thus; complete change of clothes from headband to socks. I left my iPad in the nappy bag, grabbed the change of clothes and nappy change gear and took Wolverine into the bathroom to change her on a terry cloth square I carry with me.

When I came back my cousin was sitting at her kitchen table and had my iPad open in front of her, she was frowning at what was on the screen.

I asked what she was doing and she snapped it shut, blushing.

"You really need to put a PIN code on that - you're reading some really inappropriate stuff!" (I found when I got the iPad back home I unlocked the screen and she'd been in my iBooks library reading a downloaded fanfiction that is, yes, rather explicit). Considering I left it in Candy Crush she'd obviously been playing with it since I left to deal with The Explosion.
"Well I left it in my nappy bag - why did you take it out?"
"I wanted to see how it worked!"
"You could have asked."
"You need to lock it. And that kind of... stuff... is really nasty."
"I'll keep that in mind." I put the dirty clothes from Wolverine back in the nappy bag, took my iPad and we left.

I'm hoping I did the right thing, and no, I haven't put a PIN code on my iPad. But cousin has since made some p/a comments about my reading habits on Facebook - if I mention finding a new author she'll ask if it's EL James and things like that.

Is ignoring her the right thing to do? And should I put a PIN on the iPad? Or just keep a closer eye on it in the future?

Now, that is snooping. Taking something out of your bag and rifling through it is pretty much the defnition of snooping.

You have a right to read whatever you want. There's  nothing wrong with a bit of smut (although I draw the line at Fifty Shades, it's just such bad smut!)  ;).

Just ignore your cousin. She'll get bored. Having said that, I  think you'll probably need to lock the ipad before long (or I think there's a kid mode you can engage?), just because little kids love those things, and before you know where you are she'll have somehow managed to download an expensive app or something.

Agree it's a clear cut case of snooping. Your cousin went into your bag to get the ipad (snoop 1). She then dug around on the ipad to find out what ibooks you had (snoop 2). She's now using information she gained from snooping to make sly digs at you about your reading material. Very uncool.

Even if you'd left it open on the kitchen table, I'd consider it poor manners to use someone's computer or phone without their permission (unless it was an emergency).

Like you, I don't have a pin on my ipad (it's with me everywhere & even sleeps under my pillow). Now considering slapping a pin on it, in  light of your story.

Ignoring her sounds like the best strategy. If she doesn't let it go, have a private talk with her. How old is the cousin anyway (she's not coming across as very mature)?

that's the thing that gets me, Psychopoesie! She's 32! I'm 27 and I know that touching someone else's phone/tablet/laptop is not appropriate.
Hell, I'm 98% certain that if it had been left open in front of her 9-year-old that the kid would have shown more restraint than she did...

So she went into your bag, took out your gadget, turned it on, and then left your own app and searched through the content to find something that she then complained about? And now she is making comments on Facebook about it?

Unless there's someone she will listen to who will set her straight, ignoring her is about the only thing you can do. (I'd be tempted to make a comment about how if she wants to read that, she can get her own iPod instead of helping herself to mine, but it probably would not help.)


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