Author Topic: Changing RSVP on evite, now only one person is attending an event  (Read 1901 times)

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Danika

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I belong to a social club of about 25 members and we have various activities. All of the event invitations are issued via evite and one person is in charge of sending these out.

Once a month, we meet for dinner at a different restaurant. Usually about 10 people attend these. Some months are more well-attended than others.

Last week, we were also going to have an ornament exchange at our dinner, and so those of us who planned to attend had to purchase and wrap an ornament to bring along.

I had RSVPed yes early on. Several days before the dinner, I saw that there were going to be about 5 people in attendance.

An hour before the dinner, I was dressed in my festive attire and had my wrapped ornament. I don't have a smart phone so I don't usually check the internet right before I'm supposed to attend something, but because I was on my computer anyway, I looked at the evite to see who was coming.

I saw that just a few minutes before, someone had changed their yes RSVP to no. And that apparently two days before, others had also changed their RSVPs to no.

That left me as the only person planning to attend.

Obviously, I wasn't going to go to the restaurant by myself, sit alone and exchange the ornament by myself. So I posted a note on the evite that I would no longer go either, just in case someone decided to change their mind. There were no maybes.

In the past, when I've been the second to last person to consider changing my evite RSVP to "no," I've contacted the remaining "yes" person to make sure that they knew we were the only two and to see if they wanted to cancel. I think this is more courteous than just deciding not to go, changing my evite RSVP and not caring about the lone attendee.

I am not saying the person who canceled just before me (let's call her LastMinuteNo) should still have planned to go because of me. If she didn't want to go, she should have RSVPed "no" as she did. But I think she should have called or emailed me to tell me that. We're friends, I've babysat her child, she knows me well. I didn't appreciate that she didn't give it a second thought.

Do all of you check evites right before you leave to attend an event to make sure that you're not the only one still going? Don't any of you contact the last person to tell them that you plan to cancel?

NyaChan

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Re: Changing RSVP on evite, now only one person is attending an event
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2013, 11:52:22 PM »
I don't check evites before I go though that may be because when I get an evite it is from a particular host so the party isn't going to get canceled without some notice, rather than a group using it to organize an outing.  In the situation you described, I probably would have texted a friend who was the only yes to ask them if they had noticed that everyone had canceled, and if all of my friends changed their minds and didn't tell me, I would be upset.  But then I'm quite close to my friends and am in touch with at least one or two of them daily so it would be quite a big deal for someone to not be informed of a big change in plans.

katycoo

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Re: Changing RSVP on evite, now only one person is attending an event
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2013, 01:31:14 AM »
When numbers from a group are relatively small and I am good friends with some of the attendees we're usually in more direct contact before the event, usually by sms.  So it would be very unusual for one to bail and not message me directly.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Changing RSVP on evite, now only one person is attending an event
« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2013, 05:36:05 AM »
It could be that she didn't know others had changed their response and her doing so would leave you solo. EVite will send out reminder confirmations via email and you can change your response from that email and not see other statuses.

I'm sorry your event was cancelled. But I'd give her a pass.

Surianne

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Re: Changing RSVP on evite, now only one person is attending an event
« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2013, 12:17:21 PM »
It could be that she didn't know others had changed their response and her doing so would leave you solo. EVite will send out reminder confirmations via email and you can change your response from that email and not see other statuses.

I'm sorry your event was cancelled. But I'd give her a pass.

Yes, it wouldn't surprise me if this is what happened.  It's very possible the people changing the RSVPs didn't know how many were or weren't coming.  So it was a crummy situation but not really anyone's fault.  Must have felt awful to you though and I'm sorry that happened.

Evite really lends itself to an extremely casual way of planning, so this might happen again.  It might be worth thinking about some other method of RSVPing the group can use, or a system like rotating "hosts" where one person watches the RSVPs each month.  The folks here at ehell might have some good ideas?  (I am useless at this stuff, haha.)

purple

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Re: Changing RSVP on evite, now only one person is attending an event
« Reply #5 on: December 25, 2013, 08:56:53 PM »
I personally would contact the other/s if I saw that it was just myself and another one or two attending, just to make sure that we all wanted to attend as a small group or whether we should just give it a miss.

Our group of friends and family don't use evites, but if they work the way that Hmmmmm is saying, I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that this is what happened.

I think if she likes you enough to allow you to babysit her child that she would not intentionally upset you like this.

Danika

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Re: Changing RSVP on evite, now only one person is attending an event
« Reply #6 on: December 26, 2013, 01:39:12 AM »
Thanks. I'm certain that my friend didn't intentionally do it. But she's a little self-absorbed at times, so I wondered if most people would behave as she did or if others sometimes checked to see how many people were still going to something when they changed their RSVP to no at the last minute.