Author Topic: What do you do if someone asks if you've deleted their husband on FB?  (Read 7066 times)

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wx4caster

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Re: What do you do if someone asks if you've deleted their husband on FB?
« Reply #15 on: August 23, 2013, 04:31:05 PM »
I'm usually pretty good about having a snappy comeback (but not always, unfortunately) and the reply I immediately thought of was "Absolutely. FB friends don't get to spam my newsfeed with bad jokes."  However, mild teasing and comebacks (that turn the comment back onto the teaser) are how my family rolls and a comment like that would not be out of line.

That being said, I have both my cousins hidden from my newsfeed because of silly picture shares and casino game requests. 
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ladyknight1

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Re: What do you do if someone asks if you've deleted their husband on FB?
« Reply #16 on: August 23, 2013, 04:33:02 PM »
I would delete her post and then nothing further unless she asked again.

Micah

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Re: What do you do if someone asks if you've deleted their husband on FB?
« Reply #17 on: August 24, 2013, 12:16:15 AM »
I would delete her post and then nothing further unless she asked again.

I think I'm going to go with this. I spoke to my father about it (he speaks to her regularly) & he said that it didn't sound like something sister would do. So I'm thinking more and more that it was the husband himself. Either that, or he told her to ask me.
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SoCalVal

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Re: What do you do if someone asks if you've deleted their husband on FB?
« Reply #18 on: August 31, 2013, 02:57:46 PM »
I'd delete her comment from my wall without any response.

If she contacted me through an appropriate channel (i.e. phone, email, private message), I'd respond with "Yes, I did.  I didn't appreciate his posting style."

Pod.  ToxicSis used to post obnoxious things on my wall.  I'd delete her posts and PM her stating to take it offline.  She'd repost.  I'd delete again.  After that particular incident, I'd just delete her obnoxious posts, no warning.  A few months ago, she did it again so I made an extremely obviously tongue-in-cheek post in response.  A couple of days later, DH told me she defriended me.  My response to him on that?  Hallelujah!  She's still FB friends with DH.  Do I care?  Nope.  Would I ever ask DH to ask her about it?  Nope.  I don't care, and I couldn't imagine getting DH in the middle (she tried that a few months before our wedding when I wouldn't respond to her obnoxious e-mails to me demanding I address her imagined slights -- she then e-mailed DH to "force" him to deal with her).

I say good riddance if your half-sister defriends you (then you don't have to worry about her AND her DH posting on your wall anymore -- I know I sure don't).



veronaz

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Re: What do you do if someone asks if you've deleted their husband on FB?
« Reply #19 on: September 01, 2013, 12:00:43 PM »
My your own admission you don't have a relationship with her.  You certainly don't owe her an explanation.  I would delete her comment, then I'd give serious considering to unfriending her.

I really think you're worrying needlessly about this.  He is her problem; don't allow him to be yours.

something.new.every.day

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Re: What do you do if someone asks if you've deleted their husband on FB?
« Reply #20 on: September 08, 2013, 12:41:49 PM »
I feel so often in the posts I read here that the "headline gets buried".

What I see here is "Sister is Married to an Abuser". That is a red flag. THAT is a family emergency. But the post is about a little Facebook annoyance.

Has anyone ever tried to offer her support to leave this controlling abuser?

PastryGoddess

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Re: What do you do if someone asks if you've deleted their husband on FB?
« Reply #21 on: September 08, 2013, 01:38:23 PM »
I feel so often in the posts I read here that the "headline gets buried".

What I see here is "Sister is Married to an Abuser". That is a red flag. THAT is a family emergency. But the post is about a little Facebook annoyance.

Has anyone ever tried to offer her support to leave this controlling abuser?

No the headline isn't buried.  The OP asked about a specific situation, the facebook post.  Focusing on other parts of the OP's life takes the thread off topic and can lead to locking of the thread.  Also spousal abuse gets into legal territory, which is not allowed here on e-hell.

Kiwichick

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Re: What do you do if someone asks if you've deleted their husband on FB?
« Reply #22 on: October 04, 2013, 04:59:24 AM »
I feel so often in the posts I read here that the "headline gets buried".

What I see here is "Sister is Married to an Abuser". That is a red flag. THAT is a family emergency. But the post is about a little Facebook annoyance.

Has anyone ever tried to offer her support to leave this controlling abuser?

No the headline isn't buried.  The OP asked about a specific situation, the facebook post.  Focusing on other parts of the OP's life takes the thread off topic and can lead to locking of the thread.  Also spousal abuse gets into legal territory, which is not allowed here on e-hell.

And a bunch of internet strangers on an etiquette site are not the place to ask for help.

Waltzing Matilda

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Re: What do you do if someone asks if you've deleted their husband on FB?
« Reply #23 on: November 25, 2013, 09:15:02 AM »
I have had a similar situation with the wife of a guy I have known for about 25 years. I only see them once a year but every.single.time she complains that I have unfriended her on facebook. Loudly. While in my mind, I can say 'No, Dina, I made a mistake accepting your facebook friend request. I've NEVER liked you!', I know that if I said it out loud, it would probably see me cast into the ninth circle of e-hell. Instead, I smile and say 'Gee, facebook sure does some strange things sometimes doesn't it?'. Yes, I'm lying through my teeth, but, d'you know, some argument just aren't worth having. Have a clean-out of your facebook friends would be my advice.
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NotTheNarcissist

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Re: What do you do if someone asks if you've deleted their husband on FB?
« Reply #24 on: December 24, 2013, 06:54:57 PM »
I have had a similar situation with the wife of a guy I have known for about 25 years. I only see them once a year but every.single.time she complains that I have unfriended her on facebook. Loudly. While in my mind, I can say 'No, Dina, I made a mistake accepting your facebook friend request. I've NEVER liked you!', I know that if I said it out loud, it would probably see me cast into the ninth circle of e-hell. Instead, I smile and say 'Gee, facebook sure does some strange things sometimes doesn't it?'. Yes, I'm lying through my teeth, but, d'you know, some argument just aren't worth having. Have a clean-out of your facebook friends would be my advice.

I un-friended about 90 "friends" on FB about 3 yrs ago. It was so freeing. Now I am extremely picky. Trying to not repeat my mistake. Everyone should clean out their FB friends list every now & then. Unless they are smarter than me & were careful to begin with :)

MurPl1

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Re: What do you do if someone asks if you've deleted their husband on FB?
« Reply #25 on: December 25, 2013, 01:30:15 PM »
I would be cautious about my response given what you've said about him and their relationship.  I  have to wonder if his being FB friends with you gave him access to seeing what she was saying to her family.  another form of monitoring for him.

I would definitely stay away from making this about him, even if it totally is.  Perhaps a generic "well, I've spent some time a few months ago cleaning up my friend list since some posts were less relaxing and fun than I'd hoped when I joined FB."

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Re: What do you do if someone asks if you've deleted their husband on FB?
« Reply #26 on: December 25, 2013, 09:23:58 PM »
"Hmm, no...but I have notice that Facebook has been rather glitchy lately.  Some friends and I were just discussing that we all post a lot but rarely see each others stuff. Hopefully they get it sorted out soon!" Then beandip and leave things as they are.