Author Topic: Tolerance level on neighbor guests...what's yours?  (Read 7161 times)

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JoW

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Re: Tolerance level on neighbor guests...what's yours?
« Reply #30 on: August 25, 2013, 06:30:27 PM »
..... I may get a piece of 6x6 lumber to put at the front of the spot so that they can't pull forward enough to block our walkway though. 
That gives me an idea.  Many home improvements stores carry long metal sticks with reflectors on them.  They may look a little tacky, but in my area people put them along their driveway in the fall so they can find the driveway after a snow storm.  Google "driveway marker stakes" if you want to see what I'm talking about.

Get a few of those and stick them in the dirt long the walkway. 

penelope2017

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Re: Tolerance level on neighbor guests...what's yours?
« Reply #31 on: August 25, 2013, 07:51:23 PM »
Op, you still haven't explained how specifically this inconveniences you despite multiple requests for clarification? If you are just generally annoyed at the guests' existence not sure I have anything to offer. If they are loud, block parking, etc. Affect your daily life, you have a gripe.

Can you explain?

JustEstelle

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Re: Tolerance level on neighbor guests...what's yours?
« Reply #32 on: August 26, 2013, 01:51:39 AM »
What our neighbors do only bothers us if they or their guests 1) block our street or park in our driveway without our permission or 2) make so much noise that we can hear them inside our house with our doors and windows closed, the a/c on and our TV or stereo on.  We've been extremely lucky where we live now in that our neighbors are all very considerate of others and don't do any of the above annoying things.  Our neighbors to our back had a party last night.  I only know that they did because we saw some extra vehicles parked on our street (but well out of the way) and when I went outside with the dogs, I could hear voices and laughter.  But we couldn't hear them inside our home.

Where we lived before, our across-the-street neighbors regularly had extremely noisy parties.  As in blaring music at all hours and cars all over the place.  One night, DH and I came home from an outing to find our driveway blocked and cars parked in our yard.  We also found many empty beer bottles and cans in our yard.  The mom did hear us complaining about not even being able to get into our driveway, and she had the guests move their cars.  Once we got onto our property, we found the trash in our yard.  It was also obvious that a lot of these guests were underage.  We called the sheriff's department, and the party broke up pretty soon after that.  I think what had happened was that one of the kids across the street was having a birthday party and a lot of her school chums crashed it and brought alcohol.  I don't think the parents had a clue what was happening until the sheriff's department showed up and started checking IDs and such.  I'm glad we moved away from that family.  They were just awful.

m2kbug

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Re: Tolerance level on neighbor guests...what's yours?
« Reply #33 on: August 26, 2013, 08:34:21 AM »
Op, you still haven't explained how specifically this inconveniences you despite multiple requests for clarification? If you are just generally annoyed at the guests' existence not sure I have anything to offer. If they are loud, block parking, etc. Affect your daily life, you have a gripe.

Can you explain?

I've tried to explain without giving up too much detail.  I am not really seeking advice, just people's own experiences.  I will repost if I really need people's advice.  I'm really more interested in people's stories.  I guess the bottom line is, I'm not really sure what I'm asking.  :) 

Where does one draw the line?  Well, they're extremely annoying, but they're quiet.  At least they're a good annoying as opposed to the noisy, messy kind.  :)  It's a bit unreasonable to complain about quiet neighbors, right? 

One thing is we are not allowed to run businesses from home that bring extra traffic into the neighborhood (we have an HOA).  What about clubs?  What about parties?  Surely people are allowed to have people over to their homes.  I do it too.  This may cause a minor inconveniences here and there, but no big deal.  But how much is too much?  If the neighbors have people over once a week, twice a week, three times a week, every day?  And how many?  But they're quiet, there doesn't appear to be anything shady going on, so what's there to complain about? 

I know someone who had a little bit of a nightmare situation with the cars.  No one really knows how many people lived in that home.  There seemed to be a lot and they all had vehicles, and they took up a lot of street parking.  They were also a very social bunch.  They had friends over all the time.  Every week, there was a party.  For the most part quiet, nothing outrageously noisy, but all the cars, all the people.  What do you do about that?  Is there anything you can do?  How far do you push it?  Where do you draw the line?  How patient are you?  Are you being completely unreasonable?  If you're the one having the people over all the time, are you being respectful towards your neighbors?  Is it none of their business?  Can you deal with extra traffic and get-togethers once a month but not every week?  Lots of extra traffic and people two times a year, but not every month?

I live in a good neighborhood with good neighbors.  You live next to people, you put up with some of their stuff, just the same way they put up with your stuff.  I always worry a little when someone moves because you don't know what might move in.  I've had a couple interesting ones.  ;D
« Last Edit: August 26, 2013, 09:21:06 AM by m2kbug »

amylouky

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Re: Tolerance level on neighbor guests...what's yours?
« Reply #34 on: August 26, 2013, 09:45:08 AM »
Okay.. I guess I would draw the line at:
Are they making unreasonable amounts of noise? To me, unreasonable is if I can hear them from inside my house enough to be distracting or if it's after hours, if I can hear them inside at all. Outside, if it's enough to keep me from enjoying my outside space (IE, loud music blaring).
Are they affecting parking availability, such as, am I having to park three buildings away and walk because they're using all the spots near my building?
Are they using the public space available way more than what seems to be that unit's share? For example, if there is a pool, do their guests keep the place crowded all the time? Are they taking up all the picnic tables/grills in the playground area?
That's about al I can think of right now that would cause me to have an issue with it. Otherwise, I don't care about frequency or amount of visitors, as long as it isn't having a negative impact on my life.

shhh its me

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Re: Tolerance level on neighbor guests...what's yours?
« Reply #35 on: August 26, 2013, 11:53:39 AM »
  OP I'm still not sure what's really annoying.   Parking I think if its street parking........... can I park near my home and can my guests park near my home is the line.  I live by one person with 3 or 4 cars and 2 assigned spots but the other 4 neighbors have 1 car or no cars so there are still at least 4 spots open all the time and they are never in my spots. 


I don't think there is a line besides what the cities/counties/states draw "x amount of people can live in a home Y size" , "you can't run A B or C types of businesses from home".  I don't think my neighbors have any right to say " you can not have your 10 siblings and their spouses and children over for 16 hours a day" *its doesn't have to be family any group other then those prohibit by law* as long as they're not noisy , don't take their parking spots ect.. they're mere presence is not offensive.

 I can understand "We don't have privacy fences they are always outside ,so even though they are quite, I can never feel alone in my backyard."  It's reasonable to want alone time outside but not really to get upset over not having it.   I'm not sure if you mean really annoying like "its really annoying if there is a line at the bank" the people in front you aren't wrong just because they are in front of you but sure it's annoying that you have to wait.  Or, "really annoying" because they are in some way "wrong" the people in front of you didn't read the sings and are in the wrong line, have the wrong paperwork , didn't follow instructions, put rolled coins in the drive through and jammed it  ect.

menley

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Re: Tolerance level on neighbor guests...what's yours?
« Reply #36 on: August 26, 2013, 12:33:34 PM »
Yeah... I'm afraid that I really don't understand. You say they're quiet and you haven't said they physically impede you in any way... so it sounds like their mere existence is annoying you. I don't get that.

For me, as long as neighbors are reasonably quiet (I live in an apartment, so some amount of noise is to be expected) and don't block me from parking or accessing my property with ease, then I have no problem with the number or frequency of visitors.
« Last Edit: August 26, 2013, 12:35:15 PM by menley »

SlitherHiss

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Re: Tolerance level on neighbor guests...what's yours?
« Reply #37 on: August 26, 2013, 12:38:00 PM »
I agree with the others who say that as long as my access to my home isn't impeded, and I still have quiet enjoyment of my property, how many guests my neighbors have is exactly none of my business.

ladyknight1

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Re: Tolerance level on neighbor guests...what's yours?
« Reply #38 on: August 26, 2013, 12:38:04 PM »
We have very noisy neighbors who like to have "after-parties" at their apartment from 2am onward (in violation of the quiet hours on the lease). Because of the ridiculous number of cars and people that come over to be at these parties (6+ cars, with no place to put them and 20+ people in a two bedroom apartment), they are being evicted. The cars frequently blocked access to the fire hydrant, and when the police were called the third time, the complex management had enough cause to evict. These parties happened weekly since they moved in June.

OP, it is highly annoying. No matter the activity, if there are too many cars on a regular basis it can block traffic enough to be annoying and even dangerous. I would attend your next HOA meeting if I were you.

mbbored

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Re: Tolerance level on neighbor guests...what's yours?
« Reply #39 on: August 26, 2013, 12:41:15 PM »
I'm with everybody else who said as long as they're quiet and they're not blocking your driveway or reserved parking, it's none of your business.

Right now I'm thinking of my aunt and uncle who have 6 kids, coach a soccer team (which plays in the park behind their home), host church related activities and are the base for their home-schooling co-op. We joke that their house is basically a used parking lot. But they keep the kids quiet, don't block the streets or anybody else's driveway, so how is it any of the neighbor's business?

perpetua

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Re: Tolerance level on neighbor guests...what's yours?
« Reply #40 on: August 26, 2013, 12:41:50 PM »
I agree with the others who say that as long as my access to my home isn't impeded, and I still have quiet enjoyment of my property, how many guests my neighbors have is exactly none of my business.

This. Sorry OP, I don't understand the problem; to me, this just sounds like curtain-twitching.

shhh its me

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Re: Tolerance level on neighbor guests...what's yours?
« Reply #41 on: August 26, 2013, 01:18:51 PM »
We have very noisy neighbors who like to have "after-parties" at their apartment from 2am onward (in violation of the quiet hours on the lease). Because of the ridiculous number of cars and people that come over to be at these parties (6+ cars, with no place to put them and 20+ people in a two bedroom apartment), they are being evicted. The cars frequently blocked access to the fire hydrant, and when the police were called the third time, the complex management had enough cause to evict. These parties happened weekly since they moved in June.

OP, it is highly annoying. No matter the activity, if there are too many cars on a regular basis it can block traffic enough to be annoying and even dangerous. I would attend your next HOA meeting if I were you.

But OP specifically said they are quiet and after being asked repeatably didn't say "well they block drive ways, take assigned parking, block fire hydrants"    They may be doing something OP could complain about but nothing she said here is something that should be brought to an HOA. 

If you're suggesting OP suggest assigned parking on a private road , sure why seems like a fair idea and could hold off future issues.

 IF you're suggesting she propose a new rule to the effect " no more then 4 guest may visit any household for no more then a total of 8 hours a month."   I wouldn't want to even to think about possible legal ramifications.  First thing that occurred to me was suffragettes being arrested for gathering in private homes.  Noisy call the police , blocking drive ways/fire hydrants call the police , so many people living there they exceed zoning laws I guess call social services, public road overcrowded call the zoning board and see if the HOA is willing to buy the road. I don't see that OP is having any of these issues or the issues you were having, your neighbors we;re evicted for having lots of guests they were evicted because they;re guests were noisy, breaking the law and casuing a dangerous situation. (blocking a hydrant is dangerous)

ladyknight1

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Re: Tolerance level on neighbor guests...what's yours?
« Reply #42 on: August 26, 2013, 01:33:48 PM »
Many HOAs (in my area) have rules about how many cars can be at a particular house and how often additional cars can be there. I merely suggest the OP attend her HOA meeting if it is of concern.

I did not mention anything about politics.

Judah

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Re: Tolerance level on neighbor guests...what's yours?
« Reply #43 on: August 26, 2013, 01:36:20 PM »
To be honest based on the information that you  provide, you  just come across as a mean nosey neighbor ,who thinks that  people should have others over without your express permission. for what  you  say that they  are quiet, don't cause problems , aren't inconveniencing you  in anyway , you  just feel that  your neighbor shouldn't have so many visitors. If this don't bother you  think you  shouldn't be worried about a tolerance level at all, because there is nothing for you  to tolerate.

Yeah, I'm not getting what there is to tolerate either.  As long as your neighbor's guests aren't inconveniencing you in any way, there's nothing for you to tolerate because they're not doing anything wrong.  We don't get to dictate how often, or how many guests our neighbors have. It's simply no one else's business. OP, it sounds really controlling that you think you have any say at all in your neighbors entertaining habits.
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Baby Snakes

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Re: Tolerance level on neighbor guests...what's yours?
« Reply #44 on: August 26, 2013, 01:41:57 PM »
The house next door to ours used to be a group house.  They were having a party and one of their guests passed out drunk on our lawn.  DH went over and  asked politely for them to move their guest off our lawn.  They hemmed and hawed and finally said to just leave him there.  My DH said that he really didn't want to call the police but if they didn't move him, he would.  A few minutes later two men came out of the house, hauled the guy up off the ground and put him in the bed of his pick-up truck.