It's a matter of context and I'm far more likely to attribute cluelessness to the wife than any real intent to put people down.
I'm on this side of the fence.
Owner Guy isn't so much the problem. He's pretty down to earth. He's usually on a jobsite and you normally can't tell him from the average worker. Half the time, the people that contract with us don't know he's the owner or don't believe it. Owner Lady is the issue.
This is exactly why I would accept the Owner's invitation for the big to-do and graciously "put up with
" Owner Lady's party and not poo-poo her froufrou.
Calypso and Cuddlepie bring up a good point about Owner Lady's possible state of mind.
I do think they are sharing. The wife is all ready talking about uding tje firing range for necy ueat'd picnic. They have the fishing derby, the games, the fireworks. They cater a nice meal. All of that is very generous. OP and the other employees have a whole lot more perks than most people in the workforce.
It does sound like a very generous party.
A couple of questions for the OP, just to clarify --
1. How long have you worked for the company?
2. Was this the first annual "Big Event" that Owner's have hosted? From your OP it sounds like this is the first time it was hosted at their home.
3. What sort of role does Owner Lady have with the company? Does she treat you fairly?
4. How large is the company? How many people are "several" as in (from your OP) "Several of us were really put off . . ." Why do you think that the "several" should speak for the rest of the workers?