General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Accepting favors from an employer/boss

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veronaz:
Something in another thread got me to thinking about how employers/bosses often offer favors then later (if you accept) it comes back to bite you.

Sure, there are lots of “nice” bosses who do nice things and want nothing in return.  But I’ve usually tried to avoid getting involved in so-called no-strings arrangements.

I realize that sometimes situations happen where an employee feels they have no choice and they need a favor.  Maybe they are in a financial bind and need a personal loan or paycheck advance, maybe they want to be able to come in a little late or leave a little early due to personal obligations, maybe they like to take long lunches, maybe they can’t afford a cell phone, computer, etc. so boss says go ahead and use the company’s – no problem.

But most likely: 1) at some point later boss will make remarks about “after all I’ve done for you” (even if the favor was offered and not asked for, and 2) other employees will resent what they see as favoritism.  Make no mistake, even in a “keep it between us” situation, things have a way of getting to the eyes and ears of others.

I think often the seeds are sown when an employee volunteers information about problems they are having.  Then boss says “Oh, I don’t mind if you come in 15 minutes late a couple days a week”.  Soon boss is asking you to run his/her personal errands on you lunch hour, or stay late to type his son’s/daughter’s report.

Case in point:  Years ago I started a job and soon found out that my predecessor had volunteered that she was having financial problems and couldn't come up with a down payment for a car, so the boss lent her $1,000 with a “pay it back as you can” verbal agreement.  She quit a few months later and they ended up having to sue her for the money.

At another job interview the boss (a wealthy consultant) mentioned that things just hadn’t worked out with several people who had help the position.  The salary was great, but red flags were waving at me.  Boss said that if I ever needs a loan  ??? he was very generous with his staff, and that he took them on an annual vacation to various exotic locales.  I accepted a different job…….something about the “too good to be true” job interview gave me the creeps.

I’m not saying a person should be paranoid and never accept a favor.  I’m just saying tread carefully because there is usually a price.

Anyone have thoughts on this?

siamesecat2965:
I know for me, no matter how badly off I might be financially, I would never, ever accept any type of loan, salary advance, etc. from either my employer, or my company. I'd turn to friends or other means.   I'm a firm believer in not mixing business with my personal life, whether something like this, or dating someone, etc.

I'm reminded of one of my favorite lines from Moonstruck, when Cher's mother is having dinner, and invites a gentleman who just had a drink tossed in his face to join her. Upon finding out he's a professor, and she was one of his students, she looks straight at him, and says "don't sh** where you eat"

That being said, I have at my other job, "bargained" for time off, and volunteered to work other times I might not have, but in that case, its for mutual benefit. For example, I requested a week off this month, but later found out something I thought might be planned during that time, was happening sooner. So I said hey, I really need this weekend off, but will work the sat I had previously requsted. It works for both of us, and since I am flexible, and will "give back" I generally don't have trouble getting time off. Unlike some of my co-workers who will wait until the last minute, when the scheudle is DONE and then say, oh by the way, I need x week off.

And if for some reason, any of my bosses do "allow" me special favors, such as coming in later a couple times, I am grateful, but don't take advantage.

veronaz:

--- Quote ---I'm reminded of one of my favorite lines from Moonstruck, when Cher's mother is having dinner, and invites a gentleman who just had a drink tossed in his face to join her. Upon finding out he's a professor, and she was one of his students, she looks straight at him, and says "don't sh** where you eat"

--- End quote ---

Yes, that's a great scene with Olympia Dukakis and John Mahoney (later the crochety dad on "Frasier".)

siamesecat2965:

--- Quote from: veronaz on August 27, 2013, 02:02:25 PM ---
--- Quote ---I'm reminded of one of my favorite lines from Moonstruck, when Cher's mother is having dinner, and invites a gentleman who just had a drink tossed in his face to join her. Upon finding out he's a professor, and she was one of his students, she looks straight at him, and says "don't sh** where you eat"

--- End quote ---

Yes, that's a great scene with Olympia Dukakis and John Mahoney (later the crochety dad on "Frasier".)

--- End quote ---

I use that line quite a bit as I seem to work (at both jobs) with drama llahmas who like to bring their personal life to work, and so on.

QueenfaninCA:
Employers should have a written policy for stuff like that and then simply adhere to it.

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