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Author Topic: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about  (Read 264877 times)

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Midnight Kitty

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #180 on: September 06, 2013, 01:17:49 PM »
My mother believes the only two acceptable excuses for me not dating any man I mention is them being married or not attracted to women. If I say "He has a long-term, live-in girlfriend," her response is: "Well, it's not like that sounds permanent."
Well, speaking in geological terms, even the Rock of Gibralter is temporary. >:D
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

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spookycatlady

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #181 on: September 06, 2013, 02:30:00 PM »
My Dad asks me when the next time I'm going to visit them every time we talk and gets huffy if I travel anywhere, but home.  I don't go back for a reason, the last time I went home to visit, just before I arrived, Dad volunteered to switch shifts and was working for the full week I was there.  Oh?  Did I mention that his workplace was a fly-in only type scenario? 

Thipu1

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #182 on: September 06, 2013, 05:03:48 PM »
My Dad asks me when the next time I'm going to visit them every time we talk and gets huffy if I travel anywhere, but home.  I don't go back for a reason, the last time I went home to visit, just before I arrived, Dad volunteered to switch shifts and was working for the full week I was there.  Oh?  Did I mention that his workplace was a fly-in only type scenario?

(Before a visit). When are you coming?

(When we arrive). How long will you be staying?  Why not stay the whole week?

(As soon as we say when we're leaving).  When are you coming back?

My parents used to do this and MIL continues the tradition. 


Midnight Kitty

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #183 on: September 06, 2013, 05:15:54 PM »
My Dad asks me when the next time I'm going to visit them every time we talk and gets huffy if I travel anywhere, but home.  I don't go back for a reason, the last time I went home to visit, just before I arrived, Dad volunteered to switch shifts and was working for the full week I was there.  Oh?  Did I mention that his workplace was a fly-in only type scenario?
I'm not sure I understand; Did you get to spend any time with your Dad during the week you were there?  Or was he working somewhere else where you could not visit?
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

snowflake

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #184 on: September 06, 2013, 05:18:15 PM »
Here is the current "Improve Snowflake" list:

1) Lose weight.  OK, so I'm a few pounds over.  But they've been going on about this since I was 16, 6 feet tall and a size 6.  I think I'm pretty deaf to their comments there.

2) Why can't you major in something useful, like Computer Science.
Yep, more than a decade after school we are STILL revisiting this.  I have two siblings who are currently asking me for money because they are not working as programmers. They say it got too boring.  I share a whole lot of interests with these siblings.

3) Now that you have some work experience, you should try and get in at a place like Microsoft or Google.
Let's look at that - the sentence starts with "now" as if I've been puttering around flipping burgers and doing temp jobs between long periods of loafing.  Actually, I have worked full-time in "grown up jobs" since I graduated with a BS at age 21.  Five years in one industry and 13 in another.  Both industries are pretty stable and I have a fair amount of responsibility at my current job.  I've always used technology but have zero experience in development/production of software or hardware.  So what they mean is that I can get some good character witnesses to say I'm a hard worker and can now get a job as a receptionist or secretary and work my way up.  Um, no thank you!

4) You listen to too much talk radio.
Sheesh, I listen to the BBC news on NPR and that's IT. They're all CNN junkies so what's the difference?  But they make it sound like I'm wasting hours while listening to shock-jocks.

5) You spend too much money.
Yes, but I don't spend more than I earn and therefore I have cash for my splurges (unlike them who are always paying bills for the stuff they bought.)

6) Your husband is going to leave you if you make him parent.
Actually, I think he'd leave me if I didn't let him interact with the kids.

weeblewobble

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #185 on: September 06, 2013, 05:53:20 PM »
My father would criticize DH & I every time we bought something new.  Why, you ask?  Because "You should've given it to your sister.  She doesn't have any money, and I know she needs a (car, coat, thingamabob)."

BarensMom, did your dad mean that you should have given sis the old one or that you should have given her the new one?

weeblewobble

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #186 on: September 06, 2013, 06:07:45 PM »
I enjoy a really good relationship with my parents as an adult because they see what a productive, responsible adult I have turned out to be.  But when I was a preteen to teenager, I got almost weekly lectures (mostly from dad) on being lazy, being scatterbrained, being a lackluster student, being interested in too many things besides school (creative pursuits like writing, which I now do for a living.)  Seriously, they acted like I was the worst behaved teenager in the world because I was getting a C- in math and spent a lot of time daydreaming.

The only thing that got them to stop was when my mom made some comment around a former friend's father about how unfocused and flighty I was and he countered that my former friend regularly snuck boys into the house while he and his wife were sleeping, had stolen cash and jewelry from them, took liquor from their liquor cabinet put it in an apple juice bottle so she could drink all day under their noses, and let a friend who had run away from home sleep in the family van every night for week.*  He told her, "I would take 'unfocused and flighty' any day." And mom realized that I wasn't so bad and she needed to be grateful for what she had.


*This behavior was what lead to her being a former friend.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #187 on: September 06, 2013, 07:30:24 PM »
My mother didn't really like DH and it didn't help his case that he was my first boyfriend.  I'd been on dates prior to this relationship, but no one else had really clicked.  As far as I was concerned, he was cute, we had common interests and he was good to me and he did actually meet many of the criteria I'd set for a man I'd like to marry.

1) Patient
2) Had no interest in changing me
3) Doesn't believe in hitting women
4) Very long fuse/minimal temper
5) Monty Python fan.

He has other qualities too that were a  nice bonus, like a very good gift giver, a very good listener, and as affectionate as I am. :)

My mom's theory on why I wanted to marry him?  Because he was the first guy to ask.  ::)  This is the same woman who encouraged me to date the first guy who was interested in me because "He thinks you're pretty and he's nice!"  Yeah, but he was boring as heck. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

gramma dishes

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #188 on: September 06, 2013, 08:00:07 PM »
...   My mom's theory on why I wanted to marry him?  Because he was the first guy to ask.  ::)  ...

You know, people used to say that phrase all the time and it always puzzled me immensely.  Yes, I also married the first guy who asked  .... because I had the decency to not continue dating a guy I had no interest in and knew I would/could not ever marry.  To have strung a boy along until he asked, just so I could say "no thanks" seemed like the epitome of idiocy and cruelty and would have wasted my time and his chance to meet a girl who would actually love him to pieces. 

So in my personal opinion, that you married the first guy who asked is a compliment to your integrity.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #189 on: September 06, 2013, 08:45:12 PM »
Well I think my mother meant that I was foolish to marry the first guy I ever had a relationship with.  Not so much that he was the first to propose, but that I should have had more relationships before settling down. 

But I wasn't about to let him go once I found him just to have more experience with relationships! I just was fortunate to find a guy that met my criteria first crack out of the gate, so to speak! LOL! 

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

TootsNYC

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #190 on: September 06, 2013, 08:51:16 PM »
...   My mom's theory on why I wanted to marry him?  Because he was the first guy to ask.  ::)  ...

You know, people used to say that phrase all the time and it always puzzled me immensely.  Yes, I also married the first guy who asked  .... because I had the decency to not continue dating a guy I had no interest in and knew I would/could not ever marry.  To have strung a boy along until he asked, just so I could say "no thanks" seemed like the epitome of idiocy and cruelty and would have wasted my time and his chance to meet a girl who would actually love him to pieces. 

So in my personal opinion, that you married the first guy who asked is a compliment to your integrity.

Yeah!

Not to mention, it's much more efficient. You dump or discourage the guys you don't *want* to have ask you, and it's a much better use of your energy.

Plus, it's really not fair to the guy you don't want, to let him get to the point where he's involved enough to ask.

gramma dishes

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #191 on: September 06, 2013, 08:51:51 PM »
Well I think my mother meant that I was foolish to marry the first guy I ever had a relationship with.  Not so much that he was the first to propose, but that I should have had more relationships before settling down. 

But I wasn't about to let him go once I found him just to have more experience with relationships! I just was fortunate to find a guy that met my criteria first crack out of the gate, so to speak! LOL!

Ahh.  I see.  Yes, you were fortunate indeed to find your perfect guy on the very first try!  Most people don't have that kind of luck.   :)

TootsNYC

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #192 on: September 06, 2013, 08:54:42 PM »

But I wasn't about to let him go once I found him just to have more experience with relationships! I just was fortunate to find a guy that met my criteria first crack out of the gate, so to speak! LOL!


No you didn't! You met a bunch of other guys, and you didn't get really involved with them, because they didn't meet your criteria!

Pen^2

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #193 on: September 07, 2013, 03:10:22 AM »
Well I think my mother meant that I was foolish to marry the first guy I ever had a relationship with.  Not so much that he was the first to propose, but that I should have had more relationships before settling down. 

But I wasn't about to let him go once I found him just to have more experience with relationships! I just was fortunate to find a guy that met my criteria first crack out of the gate, so to speak! LOL!

Not my parents, but assorted relatives criticise me for the same thing. I didn't have a boyfriend at all until my very late teens because I am super boring and didn't want to bother with teen flings, so I waited while everyone else had 2-week relationships until I found someone I actually wanted to be in a relationship with rather than just play tonsil hockey. And now we're married :) But apparently because I haven't "played the field" we're doomed to divorce. Who would have thought it was that simple?

MariaE

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #194 on: September 07, 2013, 03:24:35 AM »
Well I think my mother meant that I was foolish to marry the first guy I ever had a relationship with.  Not so much that he was the first to propose, but that I should have had more relationships before settling down. 

But I wasn't about to let him go once I found him just to have more experience with relationships! I just was fortunate to find a guy that met my criteria first crack out of the gate, so to speak! LOL!

Not my parents, but assorted relatives criticise me for the same thing. I didn't have a boyfriend at all until my very late teens because I am super boring and didn't want to bother with teen flings, so I waited while everyone else had 2-week relationships until I found someone I actually wanted to be in a relationship with rather than just play tonsil hockey. And now we're married :) But apparently because I haven't "played the field" we're doomed to divorce. Who would have thought it was that simple?

My younger sister used to be told the same thing. She started dating her first boyfriend when she was 17 and he was 24 and got married 2 years later. I know 19 is early to get married, but honestly, my sister was the oldest 19-year-old I've ever met. She was more mature at 19 than I was at 25.

It's now 13 years and 3 kids later, so the comments have stopped, but the amount of people - even close friends - who told her "You're much too young to get married! The age difference is much too big! It'll never work!!!" was staggering! (Never our parents though... BIL was my close friend for a couple of years before they started going out, so they knew him well enough to know what a great person he is :) )
 
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