Author Topic: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about  (Read 91242 times)

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #525 on: October 01, 2013, 07:03:18 AM »
Jaw meet floor!  What an appalling person! >:(
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weeblewobble

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #526 on: October 01, 2013, 07:54:57 AM »
All of these stories of parents/spouses trying to "take over" a girl/woman's hair remind me of a conversation we had in a college psychology class about cultural notions that a woman's power is in her hair.  (Her "crowning glory" is her hair.  Her social perception and appeal to the opposite sex is based on whether she is blond, brunette or redhead.  Long, luxurious hair makes her desirable, but super-short hair or hair that is unkempt and badly maintained says something negative about personality. Etc.) 

It strikes me as sort of upsetting that so many fathers, mothers and partners would try to control what is perceived as a female's power, even subconsciously. 

ladyknight1

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #527 on: October 01, 2013, 08:44:10 AM »
My mom didn't like long hair on us, her daughters. What did she like? Perms. Not spiral perms, tight and poodle like perms.

So once a month or so, operation perming would commence. Thank God that my hair sheds perms within a few days. Poodle hair is not for me.

Venus193

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #528 on: October 01, 2013, 08:55:11 AM »
Mine kept trying to get me to cut my hair to her style once I was out of college.  I eventually realized that she was never able to grow her hair to the same length.

Also that she wanted a clone rather than a daughter but that's too far beyond the scope of this forum to say more here.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #529 on: October 01, 2013, 09:33:44 AM »
My mom liked my hair short.  I was able to grow it to my waist but when I was 8 it was chopped off to a bob.  It managed to grow out some more and then in 7th grade she talked me into cutting it super short.  I regretted it immediately, as in walking out to the car from the salon I said "Well at least I got the bangs I've been wanting..."

I got teased for quite a while after getting that cut by idiots who assumed that a girl with a short pixie cut= butch lesbian::) And I had to keep that cut till after one of my aunts got married since I was in the wedding.  After that I was allowed to grow it out but my hair just doesn't grow out all that pretty.

So I guess for a while I had this thing about being in control of my own hair length.  I don't think I'll ever get it cut as short as it was in 7th grade. Ever.  I like being able to pull it up even into a short stubby ponytail.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

RebeccainGA

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #530 on: October 01, 2013, 09:39:44 AM »
I just remembered one of my 'CRUD MONKEYS!, I'm turning into my grandmother' moments that started off as a ridiculous thing she criticized us for. When we were younger (under 18, but not little anymore) she would take me shopping for clothes a few times a year (grandparents all but raised us). When it came time to buy underthings, I'd gravitate to the dark colors (having PCOS, my cycle wasn't always predictable, and dark colors showed mistakes less). My grandmother would always get outraged when I picked out black ones, though - she'd say "your mother would kill me if we came home with black panties!" I swore I'd NEVER restrict my kid's choices that way - it was ridiculous!

Then I took my (brand new to me) stepdaughter, then 11, shopping for underthings. She wanted to buy several pairs of black panties. I said "your mother would kill me if we came home with black panties!". Then I clapped my hand over my mouth, and put all six pairs in the cart. She looked at me like I was nuts until I explained the story, and since then (even now, ten years later) she teases me about buying her black panties.

Yvaine

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #531 on: October 01, 2013, 09:41:43 AM »
My mom liked my hair short.  I was able to grow it to my waist but when I was 8 it was chopped off to a bob.  It managed to grow out some more and then in 7th grade she talked me into cutting it super short.  I regretted it immediately, as in walking out to the car from the salon I said "Well at least I got the bangs I've been wanting..."

I got teased for quite a while after getting that cut by idiots who assumed that a girl with a short pixie cut= butch lesbian::) And I had to keep that cut till after one of my aunts got married since I was in the wedding.  After that I was allowed to grow it out but my hair just doesn't grow out all that pretty.

So I guess for a while I had this thing about being in control of my own hair length.  I don't think I'll ever get it cut as short as it was in 7th grade. Ever.  I like being able to pull it up even into a short stubby ponytail.

My parents had an unending power struggle over my hair. My dad wanted it long at all times (because of the same lesbian stereotype), banning even trims for split ends, and my mom always wanted me to have a cute bob, which is sort of uber-meh with my hair type. Fittingly enough, I think I'd happily keep it right below my shoulders forever and ever.

scotcat60

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #532 on: October 01, 2013, 09:48:09 AM »
They kept little boys in dresses until they were reliably potty-trained.  Easier to access the, er, working bits, you know.  And when a boy graduated to pants, it was a big ceremonial occasion.

I recall similar pictures of boys in paintings from the colonial era as well as the Victorian. 

The big ceremonial occasion was called "Breeching" i.e the boy got his first pair of tousers, or breeches. There is a painting of the children of Charles I, and the child who looks like a girl in a long blue dress is actually James Duke of York., late James II.

My Mum said there was a photo of he brother, born 1910, which showed him with Lord Fauntleroy ringlets and velvet suit, and holding a daffodil. She used to say she wondered what happened to it, maybe Uncle Wally quietly lost it...

Twik

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #533 on: October 01, 2013, 09:54:12 AM »
There's a darling picture of a child with gold ringlets and a lace dress that I thought was my aunt, until I was told it was my father.
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Carotte

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #534 on: October 01, 2013, 09:57:39 AM »
I just remembered one of my 'CRUD MONKEYS!, I'm turning into my grandmother' moments that started off as a ridiculous thing she criticized us for. When we were younger (under 18, but not little anymore) she would take me shopping for clothes a few times a year (grandparents all but raised us). When it came time to buy underthings, I'd gravitate to the dark colors (having PCOS, my cycle wasn't always predictable, and dark colors showed mistakes less). My grandmother would always get outraged when I picked out black ones, though - she'd say "your mother would kill me if we came home with black panties!" I swore I'd NEVER restrict my kid's choices that way - it was ridiculous!

Then I took my (brand new to me) stepdaughter, then 11, shopping for underthings. She wanted to buy several pairs of black panties. I said "your mother would kill me if we came home with black panties!". Then I clapped my hand over my mouth, and put all six pairs in the cart. She looked at me like I was nuts until I explained the story, and since then (even now, ten years later) she teases me about buying her black panties.

I have a faint memory of a classmate telling me (at 11 or 12 y/old) that only girls who hade played scrabble (or gotten the box out, maybe arranged the tiles  ::)) wore black undergarnments.
It was either about black or red ones.
I wonder if that's the same thing your grandmother thought, that black is provocative, white is pure 'little-girl' suitable.

Yvaine

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #535 on: October 01, 2013, 10:08:54 AM »
I just remembered one of my 'CRUD MONKEYS!, I'm turning into my grandmother' moments that started off as a ridiculous thing she criticized us for. When we were younger (under 18, but not little anymore) she would take me shopping for clothes a few times a year (grandparents all but raised us). When it came time to buy underthings, I'd gravitate to the dark colors (having PCOS, my cycle wasn't always predictable, and dark colors showed mistakes less). My grandmother would always get outraged when I picked out black ones, though - she'd say "your mother would kill me if we came home with black panties!" I swore I'd NEVER restrict my kid's choices that way - it was ridiculous!

Then I took my (brand new to me) stepdaughter, then 11, shopping for underthings. She wanted to buy several pairs of black panties. I said "your mother would kill me if we came home with black panties!". Then I clapped my hand over my mouth, and put all six pairs in the cart. She looked at me like I was nuts until I explained the story, and since then (even now, ten years later) she teases me about buying her black panties.

I have a faint memory of a classmate telling me (at 11 or 12 y/old) that only girls who hade played scrabble (or gotten the box out, maybe arranged the tiles  ::)) wore black undergarnments.
It was either about black or red ones.
I wonder if that's the same thing your grandmother thought, that black is provocative, white is pure 'little-girl' suitable.

Black really is great though, especially for teenage girls who aren't quite familiar with their cycle yet, and I have to credit my mom for actually recommending black undies to me for exactly that reason. Not black lace sequined thongs or anything, but just plain old cotton briefs that happened to be black. I'm 35 now and I still get annoyed that those 6-packs of undies always seem to have 3 pairs of white. I think I still subconsciously worry I'll wreck them, plus I always feel like Mary Katherine Gallagher.  ;D

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #536 on: October 01, 2013, 10:13:29 AM »
They kept little boys in dresses until they were reliably potty-trained.  Easier to access the, er, working bits, you know.  And when a boy graduated to pants, it was a big ceremonial occasion.

I recall similar pictures of boys in paintings from the colonial era as well as the Victorian. 

The big ceremonial occasion was called "Breeching" i.e the boy got his first pair of tousers, or breeches. There is a painting of the children of Charles I, and the child who looks like a girl in a long blue dress is actually James Duke of York., late James II.

My Mum said there was a photo of he brother, born 1910, which showed him with Lord Fauntleroy ringlets and velvet suit, and holding a daffodil. She used to say she wondered what happened to it, maybe Uncle Wally quietly lost it...

One of DH's half cousins has a son who's 12 now but when he was a toddler his mother used to dress him up in little Lord Fauntleroy outfits. I wouldn't blame the kid if he chose to hide those now. 

Though my MIL tells me that for a good while, no matter how boyishly she dressed DH when he was a toddler, his big blue eyes and blonde ringlets had people assuming he was a little girl.  She finally took him to get those curls chopped off, which she hated to do but once it was done people stopped taking him for a girl. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Thipu1

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #537 on: October 01, 2013, 10:45:14 AM »
The black panties stories remind me of my own childhood. 

 In the 1950s, a set of 'Day of the Week' underpants were a common gift.  Unless  they were for a very small girl, Friday and Saturday were usually red and black.  I was never allowed to wear the red or the black ones. 

MommyPenguin

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #538 on: October 01, 2013, 10:46:26 AM »
I just remembered one of my 'CRUD MONKEYS!, I'm turning into my grandmother' moments that started off as a ridiculous thing she criticized us for. When we were younger (under 18, but not little anymore) she would take me shopping for clothes a few times a year (grandparents all but raised us). When it came time to buy underthings, I'd gravitate to the dark colors (having PCOS, my cycle wasn't always predictable, and dark colors showed mistakes less). My grandmother would always get outraged when I picked out black ones, though - she'd say "your mother would kill me if we came home with black panties!" I swore I'd NEVER restrict my kid's choices that way - it was ridiculous!

Then I took my (brand new to me) stepdaughter, then 11, shopping for underthings. She wanted to buy several pairs of black panties. I said "your mother would kill me if we came home with black panties!". Then I clapped my hand over my mouth, and put all six pairs in the cart. She looked at me like I was nuts until I explained the story, and since then (even now, ten years later) she teases me about buying her black panties.

I have a faint memory of a classmate telling me (at 11 or 12 y/old) that only girls who hade played scrabble (or gotten the box out, maybe arranged the tiles  ::)) wore black undergarnments.
It was either about black or red ones.
I wonder if that's the same thing your grandmother thought, that black is provocative, white is pure 'little-girl' suitable.

Isn't there something like that in the movie "Ten Things I Hate About You?"  The younger sister is helping a guy look through her sister's stuff, because they want to get somebody to date the older sister so that the younger sister is allowed to date, too (it's complicated).  Looking through her sister's underwear drawer, she comments something about how that means that her sister wants to have sex.  The boy is confused.  She explains that a girl only buys black underwear if she expects somebody to see them.  <rolls eyes>  I totally have black underwear, because sometimes it looks best under certain clothes!  I also think colors are a lot more fun than white.

ladyknight1

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #539 on: October 01, 2013, 11:17:00 AM »
I just remembered one of my 'CRUD MONKEYS!, I'm turning into my grandmother' moments that started off as a ridiculous thing she criticized us for. When we were younger (under 18, but not little anymore) she would take me shopping for clothes a few times a year (grandparents all but raised us). When it came time to buy underthings, I'd gravitate to the dark colors (having PCOS, my cycle wasn't always predictable, and dark colors showed mistakes less). My grandmother would always get outraged when I picked out black ones, though - she'd say "your mother would kill me if we came home with black panties!" I swore I'd NEVER restrict my kid's choices that way - it was ridiculous!

Then I took my (brand new to me) stepdaughter, then 11, shopping for underthings. She wanted to buy several pairs of black panties. I said "your mother would kill me if we came home with black panties!". Then I clapped my hand over my mouth, and put all six pairs in the cart. She looked at me like I was nuts until I explained the story, and since then (even now, ten years later) she teases me about buying her black panties.

Yes, I was lectured strongly by my mother and maternal grandmother that proper girls only wore white full-coverage underwear and don'tcha know that any other color or style will give you infections?

Later, when I was 25, my BF's mother told me the same thing. I ignored all three once I bought my own.

I have never seen a poster or booklet at the GYN that mentioned a correlation between underwear colors/styles and infections.  ::)