Author Topic: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about  (Read 91852 times)

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Shalamar

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #75 on: September 03, 2013, 10:22:12 AM »
My mum has always disliked my choice of reading matter.   She hates Stephen King* and rolls her eyes every time she sees me reading one of his (which is a lot.   I'm a huge fan).

* and yet one of her favorite movies is "Stand By Me".   ::)

Venus193

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #76 on: September 03, 2013, 10:30:12 AM »
Whenever I did something out of the ordinary (for them), I'd hear, 'People like US don't do that'. 

Please know, they didn't think I was shaming the family.  The problem was that I was acting above their perceived station. 

People like THEM didn't go to college, move out of the parental home before marriage or take European vacations. 

It used to drive me nuts.

Bingo.

I took flamenco dance lessons for 8 years until my left knee required surgery (it actually had been injured some other way).  My mother never got this.

You see, she was born in a country about as far removed from that art form as it was possible to get  (and not in the geographical sense).  My father was from a different but similarly unrelated country.  She couldn't comprehend that moving to yet a third country meant that your children's friends or their parents could come from anywhere else and that the tossed salad society exposes all of them to stuff not native to their parents' cultures.  Or even that this was a good thing.

Until I played a CD by one of my favorite Mexican singers.  She couldn't understand the lyrics, but loved his voice.  My relief at this was the sigh heard on the other side of town.

magicdomino

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #77 on: September 03, 2013, 10:41:20 AM »
Quote
My mother was always telling me, "Put that book down and go do something!"  She wasn't a reader, and apparently felt that reading wasn't doing anything.

Yours too? Mine usually told me that when she was lying on the couch watching television.  ::)

Mine told me that I should watch more television, because reading would ruin my eyes.  She was right; I got my first pair of glasses at 42.  Naturally, they were reading glasses. 8)

zyrs

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #78 on: September 03, 2013, 11:18:21 AM »
Everything that I ever joined or tried as a child that took any type of money I ended up having to quit because I could not get the money to do that thing.  My parents like to bring up the fact I am a quitter at every opportunity.

It went like this:

Parents: You should join xxyy.
Me:  It costs $0.10 a week for dues. (This was a long time ago).
Parents: No problem

3 weeks into xxyy

Me:  I need $0.10 for dues for the xxyy meeting today.
Parents: You didn't tell me you needed to pay dues!  Why don't you get a job?  When I was your age I worked for everything I had.  You're just lazy. *

Can't go to meetings without dues.  So had to stop going to xxyy.

Parents: Why didn't you go to your meeting?
Me:  I didn't have the money for the dues.
Parents: Why didn't you ask us for the dues money?  You're just a stupid quitter!

This happened with everything as I grew up. 

*Please note I was 7 at the time and wasn't allowed to do anything for money until I was 11.  When I did start making money I was expected to give it to my parents so I had no discretionary income.  Due to things I didn't understand at the time, while my siblings got whatever they wanted, I was an afterthought.

ScubaGirl

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #79 on: September 03, 2013, 12:17:41 PM »
Man, I love my parents!

LOL!  I'm lucky that way too!

My mother's mother was very critical and a tab obsessive about everything being neat and orderly.  My mom took a conscious stance against that with us kids.  For example, we only had to make our beds when guests were coming over (which pretty much was just family and only around a couple holidays).

lilfox

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #80 on: September 03, 2013, 12:41:11 PM »
As a teenager, when I stopped wearing my hair the way my mom wanted, that was a big step for me and not taken well by her.  20 years later when that style came back into fashion, she couldn't stop pointing out (teenage) models in the magazines with that hairstyle and saying how flattering it was, what a classic look, etc.  Sure, for thin-faced, high-cheekboned models it looks just fine.  For chubby cheeked girls like I was, having Marcia Brady hair (long straight hair parted in the middle, no fringe/bangs) is not a good look.  My hair by itself might have been pretty, but the look as a whole was very unflattering.

Oh, and then two years ago I tried a hairstyle that was shoulder length straightened hair with a just-off center part, and Mom commented to me that she was surprised I could pull off such a "severe" look...


Cami

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #81 on: September 03, 2013, 12:49:08 PM »
My father's favorite criticism of me was that I was "unfeminine". Mind you, I was the daughter in pointe ballet classes wearing tutus, but I wasn't "feminine" enough because I did not wear dresses EVERY DAY. He would regularly tell me, "You'll never get a boyfriend or husband wearing pants." Then when I DID have a boyfriend, he asked him, "What do you see in Cami? She's so unfeminine. Do you really like boys?"  (Keep in mind that this was the 1970s, when no one asked a teen boy if they were gay except as an extreme insult.)

His second favorite criticism of me was that I was too "emotional". EVERYONE else who knows me thinks I am stoical (due in large part to being ridiculed for showing emotion as a young child). But not my father. When my mother died (unexpectely and at a relatively young age) and I had a tear in my eye, he ripped me a new one in front of everyone for being "too emotional."  It surprised no one that I declined to attend his funeral after that.

Luckily for me, I had long since decided that my father was a total idiot, so his comments were like water on a duck's back.

RebeccainGA

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #82 on: September 03, 2013, 12:52:44 PM »
Oh, the epic fights we used to get into about my clothes in middle/high school. You see, my parents are Artistic folks. The kind that quit jobs with no plan and live on their Artistic talents because it's SO MUCH BETTER than working for The Man (and will tell EVERYONE that's why they can't do X or Y, because being Artistic doesn't pay well).

My grandparents are more middle class typical folks that believe in careers and retirement planning, and understood that I wanted to be more 'normal'. So when they took me shopping for clothes, they let me pick out things I liked - skirts, slacks, nice dresses, blouses. I never voluntarily chose jeans or shorts or t-shirts. I still don't. My favorite outfit was, in eighth grade, a black pencil skirt, a mustard yellow turtleneck, and a black scarf tied in my hair.

My parents would yell, threaten to take things away, refuse to let me go with them places, and browbeat me because I was 'too dressed up'. I was in a long tunic top and stirrup pants (this was the late 80s, y'all - it worked then) and I was 'way too dressy to go to the movies'. Heaven forbid I wanted to wear a dress.

Now, mom compliments me on how nice I look and how thin my clothes make me look. They are essentially the same clothes.

Asharah

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #83 on: September 03, 2013, 01:19:12 PM »
Everything that I ever joined or tried as a child that took any type of money I ended up having to quit because I could not get the money to do that thing.  My parents like to bring up the fact I am a quitter at every opportunity.

It went like this:

Parents: You should join xxyy.
Me:  It costs $0.10 a week for dues. (This was a long time ago).
Parents: No problem

3 weeks into xxyy

Me:  I need $0.10 for dues for the xxyy meeting today.
Parents: You didn't tell me you needed to pay dues!  Why don't you get a job?  When I was your age I worked for everything I had.  You're just lazy. *

Can't go to meetings without dues.  So had to stop going to xxyy.

Parents: Why didn't you go to your meeting?
Me:  I didn't have the money for the dues.
Parents: Why didn't you ask us for the dues money?  You're just a stupid quitter!

This happened with everything as I grew up. 

*Please note I was 7 at the time and wasn't allowed to do anything for money until I was 11.  When I did start making money I was expected to give it to my parents so I had no discretionary income.  Due to things I didn't understand at the time, while my siblings got whatever they wanted, I was an afterthought.
I don't suppose you had a tape recorder so you could secretly record the conversations for playback when they later claim you didn't say there were dues or accuse you of not asking for the money.
Asharah

Shalamar

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #84 on: September 03, 2013, 01:28:01 PM »
That reminds me of my mum.  When I was 14, I thought I'd like to take up tennis.   We found a used racquet, but it was $50, and mum (not unreasonably) balked at paying that much.   So, we didn't buy it, and I never played tennis.  To this day, she laughs and teases me about how I "quit" tennis, and how this indicates that I'm flighty and never finish anything.   Um, kind of hard to play without a racquet, Mum.

CakeBeret

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #85 on: September 03, 2013, 01:28:25 PM »
I don't suppose you had a tape recorder so you could secretly record the conversations for playback when they later claim you didn't say there were dues or accuse you of not asking for the money.

When I was a kid I fantasized about saving up my money to buy a tape recorder so that I could catch my mom doing similar things!
"From a procrastination standpoint, today has been wildly successful."

StuffedGrapeLeaves

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #86 on: September 03, 2013, 01:45:42 PM »
One of her favorite phrases...What will the neighbors think?

This reminds me of a story my friend told me.  Her mom is very image-conscious and is always worrie about what the neighbors think.  When my friend told her she was pregnant, her mom's first reaction was, "Oh my gosh - what will the neighbors think?"  Friend took a deep breath and replied, "Mom, I'm married, over 30, and have a good job.  I doubt the neighbors will think anything bad!"  Mom thought for a second and admitted that she was still thinking of friend as a teenager, and that the neighbors will think badly of her as an unwed single mother. 

Yvaine

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #87 on: September 03, 2013, 01:52:06 PM »
Everything that I ever joined or tried as a child that took any type of money I ended up having to quit because I could not get the money to do that thing.  My parents like to bring up the fact I am a quitter at every opportunity.

It went like this:

Parents: You should join xxyy.
Me:  It costs $0.10 a week for dues. (This was a long time ago).
Parents: No problem

3 weeks into xxyy

Me:  I need $0.10 for dues for the xxyy meeting today.
Parents: You didn't tell me you needed to pay dues!  Why don't you get a job?  When I was your age I worked for everything I had.  You're just lazy. *

Can't go to meetings without dues.  So had to stop going to xxyy.

Parents: Why didn't you go to your meeting?
Me:  I didn't have the money for the dues.
Parents: Why didn't you ask us for the dues money?  You're just a stupid quitter!

This happened with everything as I grew up. 

*Please note I was 7 at the time and wasn't allowed to do anything for money until I was 11.  When I did start making money I was expected to give it to my parents so I had no discretionary income.  Due to things I didn't understand at the time, while my siblings got whatever they wanted, I was an afterthought.

This reminds me of my dad, for whom no notification of a grade issue was ever early enough. I'd get a middling grade on my report card, and it was "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER THAT YOU WERE HAVING TROUBLE IN ALGEBRA WHARGLBARGL!" So the next semester I'd have trouble in some class and tell him as soon as I figured it out, and that wasn't soon enough either. Through trial and error, I eventually figured out that the only acceptable date to tell Dad I was having grade trouble was on the first day of class, when of course one has no idea whether trouble is looming or not.

I got called a quitter for quitting going to an orthodontist when I was 13. Now, the doctor was actually a bit of a bully and I disliked him, but all I knew at the time was that I went once and then it was just never mentioned again. My best guess was we ended up not having the money. But obviously at 13 I should have been taking myself to the orthodontist and paying for it with money from the couch cushions or something, because I became an object lesson for my sibs on People Who Don't Want to Improve Themselves.

Our school had instructional fees (small amounts, like $2 when I was little and more like $14 by the time I graduated, due to inflation) that a kid's parents had to pay to the school each year. Dad never, ever wanted to pay these. Most years he just wouldn't and then the school would sometimes withhold our report cards until it was paid (but sometimes they forgot and gave them to us anyway). It did help me one year in junior high when I had a middling grade and wanted to hide it--I just said they hadn't given me the report card because of the fees, he believed it and muttered something about the school always trying to take his money and never brought it up again.

HGolightly

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #88 on: September 03, 2013, 02:37:45 PM »
My mom has a tendency to see a person as they were a long time ago. In my case I am always 14 despite having a house, mortgage, continual employment (aside from maternity leave), a car, my o n business, a marriage and kids.  She throws stuff at me that happened when I was a kid. Recently my hubby went through a moderately serious medical issue and she was angry we did not tell her immediately (it was very sensitive and NOT HER BUSINESS) and SHE was embarrassed because it made HER look bad as we were lying to her. It was then selfish of us because.....it was about her. Yeah....no. I told her it was not about her, it was on a needs to know basis and when it was brought up she shut it down as we were lying about it.  So. Much. Fun.

ti_ax

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #89 on: September 03, 2013, 02:43:11 PM »
Many years ago when our first daughter was born, DW & I decided she would go back to work and I would be the full-time at-home parent. My parents called and told me we should not do that, because they didn't want to have to tell the extended family I wasn't earning a paycheck.

Um, no ... we made our decision based on important factors.