Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about

[CrazyDaffodilLady]

This is intended to be a humorous look at the ridiculous things we’ve been criticized for by parents (and others) who can’t seem to find anything good to say about us. 

My dad is 86 and in a nursing home.  Writing letters is his favorite pastime, and I supply him with stationery supplies, including $400-500 worth of stamps every year.  I send a mix of newly released, pretty, and interesting stamps, although I have to censor the selection because of his conservative religious beliefs.

Recently he sent back a sheet of Purple Heart stamps because they made him “sad”.  A sheet of patriotic stamps with the words Equality, Justice, or Liberty made him angry.  He used them only to write to me, and always wrote some nasty remark beneath them, such as “Equality is a joke”.  I hope very much that my mail carrier doesn’t think I share his opinions. 

[Thipu1]

MIL is always amazed (and slightly appalled) that we aren't riveted by televised tennis and golf matches. 

[rose red]

My mother always ask why I "chose "to be short.  And why of all the things I could have learned from my dad, why "learned" to have premature gray hair and diabetes.  It's funny because she's being clueless.  Otherwise, I would be spitting mad.

[wonderfullyanonymous]

Growing up...Why are all your friends fat?

One of her favorite phrases...What will the neighbors think?

When we talk, which isn't often, mom brags about how musically talented my niece is. She IS a very gifted musician, and I am very proud of her. For some reason, mom has forgotten, that I too, was pretty talented, but I don't really remember her bragging to my grandparents about that. I only wish that at the same age, I had half the amount of confidence my niece has.

[veronaz]

My father was a huge hypocrite/Dr. Jekyll~Mr. Hyde.  He would bounce back and forth from being a benevolent Christian to being a Satanic sadist who actually derived job from making people miserable.  Several times he told me I needed to go up and down my street, knock on doors, and ask people (strangers) if they needed anything or if there was anything I could do for them because he felt I was selfish with my time.  (Folks, I couldn’t make this up.)

[CakeBeret]

My mom likes to make snarky comments about the fact that we live in an older neighborhood and not a pricey subdivision. When we got a home alarm system for peace of mind, she said "maybe you shouldn't be living there if you need an alarm." FTR it's a perfectly nice neighborhood, nicer than where I grew up in fact, she just seems to have forgotten that not all of us marry for money.

[poundcake]

Every summer, my mom berates me for not wearing shorts. Even when I wasn't fat, I wasn't a fan of shorts, but to mom, every summer, you are supposed to go buy some cute "short sets" and flip flops. I hate short sets and flip flops. But every June, she wants to know if I'm going to the sale at such-and-such big box store, because they have some "really cute short sets!" Sorry, but shorts and a sleeveless button-down in matching plaid are going to make me look like a block and bare way more skin than I want. I stick to jeans, t-shirts, and flowing skirts, but my mom insists that I can't be cool in hot weather without wearing shorts. A couple times, she's bought me a "shorts set" (which she shouldn't be doing on her budget anyway) and insisted I wear them, because it's more important to "be cool" when it's hot out than not be wearing something I hate that makes me uncomfortable. The last time she did that, I told her to take them back to the store. I'll stick with my hippie skirts, thank you.

[that_one_girl]

I'm in my early 30's and I still get the "drinking alcohol will cause you to get knocked up" speech from my mom.   Like, really?  Even when I explain that I prefer to drink at home ... she still gives me the speech.

[HenrysMom]

I'm in my early 30's and I still get the "drinking alcohol will cause you to get knocked up" speech from my mom.   Like, really?  Even when I explain that I prefer to drink at home ... she still gives me the speech.

After all, you never know what's in those bottles of demon rum. 

[mbbored]

Any time I drive somewhere by myself. "Ooh, that doesn't seem like a good idea. What if you get bored or have car trouble?"

For the record, I drove from NC to Colorado by myself, hauling a 14 foot trailer, from NC to the Florida Keys and back again (twice) from NC to Northern California, Nor Cal to So Cal, etc. But nope, she's still afraid I'll "get bored."

[HenrysMom]

My father would criticize DH & I every time we bought something new.  Why, you ask?  Because "You should've given it to your sister.  She doesn't have any money, and I know she needs a (car, coat, thingamabob)." 

[Bexx27]

Growing up, it was always that I needed a haircut. Now it's that my DD always needs a haircut (according to my mom). It works out pretty well for me actually; my mom is sufficiently bothered by DD's slightly long hair that she'll take her to the salon on her dime (with my permission). I haven't paid for DD to get her hair cut for about a year now. 

[snowdragon]

I have facial hair ---my father's mother had it as well.  My mother tells me once a day ( at least) that  it is "offensive to other people for them to have to see that" and I need to get rid of it.  her solutions are always but always painful and expensive.

as a teen I was a cross- country runner, a competitive swimmer and a long distance biker.  I had suitable muscles my parents were forever harping about how fat I was.  Because I wore a size 10. I wore most boy's clothes and my brother who was younger than I by three years could raid my closet and have my clothes be tight on him - but I was fat and needed to loose weight.

[Jocelyn]

Wearing anything but tiny earrings will make people think badly of you.
But my all-time favorite was when my mother discovered I have a big supply of makeup. Always have, since college. Splurging on eyeshadow is pretty cheap retail therapy, IMO. But one time she saw the box  and told me that to save money, I should get rid of all that makeup. I asked how getting rid of perfectly good and useable items SAVED money, and she had no answer. I could 'get'  that perhaps I should use up what I have before getting more would be economical, but not that throwing out what I have would save money.

[gramma dishes]

Growing up, it was always that I needed a haircut. Now it's that my DD always needs a haircut (according to my mom). It works out pretty well for me actually; my mom is sufficiently bothered by DD's slightly long hair that she'll take her to the salon on her dime (with my permission). I haven't paid for DD to get her hair cut for about a year now. 

Maybe it really has nothing to do with your mother's aversion to long hair.  Maybe your Mom just really gets a kick out of taking your DD to the salon for DD/Grandma bonding time.